Weird…
According to the Bible no man, no angel, not even Jesus Christ himself knows when the rapture will be…
Huge fan of whoever convinced them to blame it on trump not releasing the Epstein files tho.
There’s no such mention of the rapture at all in the Bible. It was invented in the 19th century.
It was invented to distract us from the Trump/Epstein files
“Life was filled with guns and war,” the song begins, “and everyone got trampled on the floor. I wish we’d all been ready.”
Wow, sounds like we’re already living it today…
“Clearly, when he wrote with his own hand that no man would know the day or the hour, the Lord wasn’t counting on a genius like me coming along.”
- a whole shitload of different preachers
Joking aside, how do whole congregations avoid seeing the narcissism on some of these motherfuckers?
Which is strange, because Jesus is God and God is all knowing…
Also what disguy was saying of course.
But surely it won’t happen until after God sees those files. They might affect who gets raptured. /s
You know what? Sure. As long as they have a reason to release the files I’m down to support it.
I think if this idea were seeded into the Facebook frenzy that would have been diabolical
What if the rapture did happen but none of them were worthy?
Oh, please no. I so desperately want humanity (and the planet) to be rid of these people.
Then the muslims take their place
Bro is totally not racist and brings up Muslim faith unannounced, fucking weirdo
We are used to him in the UK communities. He’s a well known prat.
That’s not a very nice thing to say ☹️
What has Islam got to do with Race? I’m just saying that getting rid of Christians won’t make the earth into an atheist haven. Islam will logically take it’s place as it’s the second biggest religion.
The hell has this got to do with race???
take it’s place as it’s the
One of those “it’s” isn’t the same as the other.
Hang on lads, I’ve got an idea.
The all new Rapture Drink, now Kool-Aid flavored!
Wow, covid was an extremely shitty rapture.
Even with god’s chosen president doing everything he could to get more people up to heaven…
explains a lot tbh.
Or what if the rapture happened and the only creature deemed to fit the criteria was a single highly surprised but very chill about it capybara?
Specifically this dude:
“With God all things are possible… Except the Epstein files, even God can’t help you there.”
I mean Jesus could release the files himself hes all powerful no?
He’s about to release the… Look squirrel!
Jesus is coming! Open your mouth!
Swallow the sins of man
But is he powerful enough to create a rock so heavy that even he can’t lift it?
Yeah but he doesn’t know how to use windows 11, so he’s just going to print out an email and send it in the post.
List of dates predicted for apocalyptic events
If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results, then the people who anticipated this latest failed prediction are absolutely, frothing at the mouth, street corner screaming certifiable.
But then I think we all already knew that.
checks list Cool, the one I added (and documented) is still listed.
Well, we’re getting close though. Only 5 more left.
Nice try.
The Rapture did happen, and you failed to make the cut.
Actually, this is something I could relate to.
This is hell. Like, literally.
Somewhere, one single person was raptured and wondering where everyone else is. No one else noticed their absence. But the rapture did happen.
“Just me? Really?”
This happened in AD 221.
The rapture happened ages ago, but none of us went to heaven. We’re staying along for the ride.
Because it’s impossible to be good, in the words of Eleanor Shellstrop: “There’s this chicken sandwich that if you eat it, it means you hate gay people. And it’s delicious!”
I’m sorry but Chick-fil-A is bland as fuck and I’ll never understand why people love it so much. The chicken is always dry, the sauce selection sucks, and the lettuce & tomato are always warm & soggy. I just don’t get it. Even by fast food standards, the quality is shit. I’ve been to multiple locations and they’re all the same.
And then the probing began.
Yes Lot, just don’t look back, or I’ll kill you.
The one raptured dude was super high on fent so they assumed it was an OD.
It’s 2025 and the Daily Star is now considered one of the more relevant and trustworthy news sources. And not because they’ve improved themselves.
In our era, a new way of winning the race to be the British Newspaper with the most Journalistic Integrity appeared: just stand still as a tabloid with little or no Journalistic Integrity whilst everybody else just runs by you in the opposite direction of “better” on their way to Pure Propagand Outlet.
Every time the rapture doesn’t happen they seem more convinced that it will happen in the future.
I really should get into the property market around the time the next rapture announcement comes out because surely they’ll be selling all their houses off right. If you timed it right you could go on a really expensive holiday and save money by not paying for a return flight.
I think I saw someone selling “rapture insurance” a while a go. Iirc they pay a one time fee to get on a registry and they would go around and collect pets that didn’t get raptured with their owners.
What? But the rapture was last night, didn’t anyone tell them?
They are more convinced. “When prophecy fails” was first published in 1956, it’s well documented.
Faith is such an interesting concept. Believers can make up interesting statements like this, but if this statement is true, then so is the following: God was okay with Epstein’s activities, otherwise God would’ve intervened. Right?
Naaah we’re just too stupid to understand how god operates. Don’t even try, just know that god loves you and shut up about Epstein /s
God is all-powerful and all-knowing. He knows the number of hairs on your head. Every touch, crime, etc. by Epstein was God’s specific will or it wouldn’t have happened. The Lord works in mysterious ways!
Death cult makes up another excuse for their god not existing.
“We know it’s fiction, but we hate you for not believing our bullshit!”
Fuck religion, and the religious. Even you ‘good’ religious assholes. Fuck you specifically for supporting evil religions.
Without religion, we’d be talking about Epstein right now. REligions come along with the complete lies and just fuck everything up. Every fucking time.
Pretty sure bad people don’t need religion to still do bad things and lie. I’m pretty certain murder and other such horrors existed before religion did.
Which is to say, y’all would be still talking about Charlie Kirk, tariffs, etc still instead of Epstein.
A large portion of American Christians I’ve talked to reject Trump being a Christian. They just preferred him over Kamala. They’d rather someone pretending to be Christian than flat out reject Jesus openly.
“I’d rather the anti-chtist lying that they are the Christian than an honest person saying they aren’t a Christian.”
She told Christians not to vote for her.
72% of Americans have some form of religious belief.
If religious people fuck everything up you are literally surrounded by them.
“Some form” is pretty broad. They may not actually mean all religions, either.
But I don’t think that raging against the majority is uncalled for.
There’s a difference between raging against the majority, and saying things like “all 72% of the population do is fuck everything up”. It’s a wonder anything is standing if that was the case.
Without religion, we’d be talking about Epstein right now. REligions come along with the complete lies and just fuck everything up. Every fucking time.
saying things like “all 72% of the population do is fuck everything up”
That’s not really what they said, though. Most of that 72% does non-religious stuff most of the time. Imagine how much better things could be if we were less fucked up!
Fuck religion, and the religious. Even you ‘good’ religious assholes
Sure sounds like they don’t care if they do “non-religious stuff most of the time”
Ok…then we’re surrounded by people who fuck up the planet.
Hey, you DO see that humans, and only humans, have fucked this planet up pretty badly, right?
Like we’re already past the point of no return for climate change. We can’t unfuck the planet.
So why is it hard to believe that the majority of people are huge fuck-ups in life? Including you.
Hey, you DO see that humans, and only humans, have fucked this planet up pretty badly, right?
I never claimed otherwise?
And how helpful is it to scream “fuck humans, all they do is fuck everything up, even the so called good humans fuck you for supporting the humans fucking things up!”
There, have I fixed climate change now?
Without religion we’d be raping children and bashing babies against rocks, and possibly genocided each other several times over.
If the only reason you’re not doing those things is out of fear of eternal punishment then you’re not a good person.
Define “good”
Oh shit, Jordan Peterson is on Lemmy.
No. Not him. Anyone but him.
Define “anyone”.
My statement was clear, and instead of addressing it you are trying to change the subject to arguing about definitions. I’m not biting.
He’s not even a Christian
After the rapture failed to happen on Tuesday
be the change you want to see in the world
Well I went to heaven, just as predicted. Let me tell you: it is GREAT up here. And free WiFi too, as you can see.
Cool. How’s the food? Are there orgies?
Food is surprisingly good actually. Lots of grapes. No Orgies yet, but they drag Epstein from hell everyday to give us all bjs.
What if they gave a rapture and nobody left?
What if the rapture happened and the only thing that dissapeared were the Epstein files?
Oh God, don’t even give them any ideas. I’m already worried with all this symbolism trying to make Charlie Kirk into Jesus they’re going to try and claim he was resurrected at some point.
“This was all part of God’s plan.”
