Have you tried turning it fucking off and on again?

I’m so stealing that.

I’m functioning within normal parameters.

The legal system is only for poor people.

“Anything that doesn’t serve my fascist agenda is unconstitutional.”

Those polar bears have been ripping off the American workers long enough!

You mean an era of unprecedented social, economic and technological progress? THE HORROR!!!

The solution is of course to gut public healthcare. Oh and collecting statistics will be illegal soon too.

All press inquiries will be answered with a poop emoji.

The answer is narcissism.

It’s a bunch of independent cons but they all use the same methods.

Exactly. For me it’s closer to 40 years and I don’t think I ever used the number pad more than ten times. Tenkeyless is just better, unless you’re an accountant.

Is it mandatory to have in your ass or can you just put it in your pocket?

Next? This is already happening in Gaza right now.

The way you describe it, it sounds more like Dianetics.

Trump’s role model isn’t McCarthy. It’s a certain failed painter from Austria.

I hope your mom is enjoying her new dildo.

They all cashed out after the IPO. They’re probably laughing at the bag holders right now.

The other day I saw an interview with a sociopath (with a PhD in psychology) who said that doing things she explicitly wasn’t supposed to do brought her relief from her inner tension. Most of Trump’s political appointments remind me of this. It’s like he’s doing this shit for the sole reason that everybody keeps telling him not to.

Why do you have to personally attack me like that?