You spend every day doing cavity searches, then the most you can hope for is a little plaque.

She cannot win, he factually will not hear her great woids; The planet earth is actually an oblate spheroid

She cannot win, he will not hear at all; The planet keeps on being spherical.

I’ve seen Mad Max and I’m going to disagree. This looks LITERALLY EXACTLY LIKE MAD MAX to me and you can’t diminish that, because it’s entirely subjective. But also correct. The resemblance is uncanny.

I could make you love me. :(

Two of them are really small, I can angle the photo so that you barely even notice it?

My service dog, Fire, loves going with me to opening night at the movies.

Does a nude woman jiggling down a beach not count as NSFW anymore!?

This is why I don’t say anything. I just stare and smile and get closer veeeeery slowly. They’re kind of like deer.

He’s easy and available, though I honestly wish I could find someone who suits me better.

Maybe. But it’s going to be a different angle, so it might mess up your muscle memory.

The younger he is, the harder.

Hope you got some much-needed sleep! ❤️

I upgraded all of my devices to quantum awhile back. A lot of people like to hold off until the bugs are worked out, but I’ve always been an early adopter.

It’s like an explanation of conservatism in one photo.

If they can’t remember my birthday, they don’t deserve my fun facts.

In reality, I just meant to convey “modern times.” Hip, youthful times. But I should’ve just said 1986.

Any degenerates wanna buy some feet pics? They’re perfectly healthy feet, you don’t wanna miss 'em! I got all 10 toes, too.

It wasn’t a wave when I checked.

Remember when VW had hundreds of slaves in Brazil until like a year after I was born? That was pretty wild.

deleted by creator