• Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    ‘please, Internet, tell me how to turn my game controller into a vibrator’

    Kids these days… Back in my day, we just turned on FF8 and spammed summons

  • To be fair, having recently been on the market for a proper vibrating sex toy, they’re expensive as fuck, and according to my ex-wife (ow. ex- still stings.) capable of providing mind-blowing orgasms. So yeah, for those without a budget, we make do with what we got, or the bargain bin at Good Vibes.

    TMI:

    spoiler

    The item in question doesn’t figure into why she’s ex- now, but the reason we were on the market for one absolutely does. I’ll be talking to an endocrinologist at the end of the year.

    • thermal_shock@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      They’re not more than a new controller for the basic rabbit style vibrating ones. Controllers start around $60 in USA. I could be off, I got two Xbox controllers a few years ago to play couch games via steam, I don’t own a console.

      • Controllers in 2015 were about $40 for a Playstation standard and could get up to $200 depending on the features you wanted (e.g. wireless, self charging, extended range, game domination features, etc.)

        Most people have a $10-$30 market for sex toys until they get serious about it. Kids exploring their bits don’t have any budget at all, and can only get things that pretend to be toys for kids.

        Evidently, it’s appropriate to get your tween a vibrating broomstick (or a bumble ball if you’re a California hippy parent who wants to assure your toddler grows up well-adjusted) but not a vibrating rubber duckie. I’m not fully sure why.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          9 days ago

          You can probably get something serviceable in that price range, but tbh the magic wand is about $100 and yeah it’s a “have a job” toy, but it’s the sort of toy that people don’t think of as “seriously getting into sex toys” toy. Though I will say that category does have several subdivisions once you’re in it. There’s a wide gulf between people who have a few vibrators and a strap on and the people who own a sybian

    • Holytimes@sh.itjust.works
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      10 days ago

      The MAGIC WAND hv-260 and all other models is currently 25% off on Amazon.

      That’s right you can now own your own MAGIC WAND for only 69.99. Vibrate your bits into next week with the classic and most powerful muscular relaxor with countless accountments and a time tested design.

      ENJOY THE POWER, BUY A MAGIC WAND TODAY.

      This is not an ad I just really like the magic wand an for 69 dollars it’s a steal.

      • A friend of mine had to vibrate the snot out of her leg as part of PT (it’s a very long and gruesome story), and for stuff like that magic-wand type vibes are great. But the new orgasmotron vibes use weird biofeedback science and fancy rhythms to get the pulse just right for people who have various kinds of sexual dysfunction.

        Some of them also relay your health issues back to the App provider to be added to your consumer profile and sold, so do use IoT security and try not to get ones that sell your info.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          9 days ago

          On one hand that sounds awesome, on the other hand that sounds so expensive its probably on par with a good tens unit which would also double as a muscle relief device.

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      11 days ago

      I bought one in like 2006, and still have it! You could also plug it into the computer, turn vibration to max, and it would go until you closed the program.

      Great accessory!

  • passepartout@feddit.org
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    11 days ago

    If OP were interested in learning about tech at the same time, they could research an easy way to call the controller API with a simple button / toggle in a project, possibly writing their own controller-to-vibrator App, e.g. in Godot.

    • Prox@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      Hilariously, the actual Cyberpunk game would work for this. There’s a weapon in the game that’s just a giant dildo, and holding it causes your controller to rumble continuously.

  • RedFrank24@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    The trick is to find a game that has a mounted turret with infinite ammo and then tape the button down. The Warthog in Halo, or the Street Sweeper in Mercenaries (with the infinite ammo cheat on).

        • iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works
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          11 days ago

          Unless, say, they did not buy that ps5. Like a child might not buy their own electronics but rather be gifted them. Like a child who might be very hormonal and desperate to masturbate with anything that can vibrate.

      • Sparkles@fedia.io
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        11 days ago

        I was thinking it might be an embarrassment issue. But that’s a good point. Although PS5 are pretty expensive iirc.

  • yermaw@sh.itjust.works
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    11 days ago

    No help to them now, especially on PS, but the xbox 360 had a game just for this. Well, for neck massages, wink.