cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/70827890
Few adult men are killed by adult women. Our fear is real
I like to turn the shower on and fill the tub up and pretend I’m in a submarine that’s been hit
That’s a perfect metaphor for crying over „man hating feminists“.
I like to turn up the Bluetooth speaker and pretend I’m Stan Rogers performing in a smokey bar, using my showerbeer as a microphone.
Don’t know whether to upvote for spreading awareness of women’s issues or downvote for encouraging gender wars discourse
It’s in a shitpost sub, it’s ragebait. I use it to block misogynists so that’s something.
lemmy shitpost never fails to amaze me with how concentrated its ragebait is
Lil’ bit of ragebait has always been part of shitposting, but usually it’s at least funny ragebait
The overwhelming majority of men aren’t doing that shit.
Any amount of men doing that shit is unacceptable.
Same as mothers committing infanticide, parental alienation, paternity fraud, rape and many other crimes.
Acting like an entire gender is guilty of the crimes of a few is inherently wrong and it is called collective responsibility, and it can also be played both ways, which is a complete waste of time.
It just leads to fighting, throwing blame around and it does not help bring solutions to the people actually suffering.
“but what about…”
Cool, we aren’t talking about that right now.
If people pointing out shitty things that a plurality of men do upsets you, ask yourself why. Are you a part of that plurality? If no, why are you mad?
Because when problems affecting women are discussed, most people act like it is the end of the world, like men need to risk and even lose their lives to protect them, but whenever issues that affect men are discussed, we are met with dismissals such as yours.
If people pointing out shitty things that a plurality of women do upsets you enough to try to debase those concerns, attempt to throw shade and even attempt to paint the other person as someone who roofies women, then there is no sense in having a discussion.
It is the same regurgitated arguments that people who claim “kill all men” is not hate speech, and ridiculing anyone who takes issue with said problematic statement.
people pointing out shitty things that a plurality of women
The number of women doing the things you mentioned and the number of men doing the things mentioned in this post are not the same.
It is the same regurgitated arguments that people who claim “kill all men” is not hate speech, and ridiculing anyone who takes issue with said problematic statement.
I haven’t seen any of that here, and I sure as shit don’t see how my “date rape is bad” stance is the same thing as “kill all men”
To mostly quote you:
Any amount of [wo]men doing that shit is unacceptable.
And that’s exactly my original point. Whether we’re talking about a large number of perpetrators or a small number, the people responsible for those crimes are the perpetrators, not their entire gender.
Are you a part of that plurality? If no, why are you mad?
I’m not claiming your “date rape is bad” stance is equivalent to “kill all men.” I’m pointing out that the defense you’re using is the same: Make a sweeping statement about men, then when someone objects, insinuate that their objection itself is suspicious rather than engaging with the criticism.
And the difference in prevalence doesn’t really resolve that issue. We can acknowledge that certain crimes disproportionately involve one sex while still asking whether collective blame is appropriate.
More importantly, if the goal is actually to reduce these crimes and help victims, I’d rather see the discussion focus on things that can accomplish that: effective laws, enforcement, appropriate punishment, prevention, victim support, and making sure victims of all forms of these crimes have access to those things.
That’s what I was getting at originally. I’m not defending date rape, and I don’t think anyone here is. I’m questioning why assigning blame to a gender seems to be the first avenue rather than addressing the mechanisms that allow the crime to happen in the first place.
And your response just proves my previous point, having a discussion with you is entirely pointless, you respond like you were trained to escalate things and then play the victim, Are you sure you’re not AI?
Anyway, feel free to reply, or don’t. I am not engaging with you anymore.
Edit, typo
Hey. Hey, try this.
“The overwhelming majority of white land owning men in 1860 were not slave owners, therefore we should minimize the reality of slavery as a problem the slaves had. Maybe if the slaves had smiled more at white land owners, everyone would have been happier.”
Oh. Hey, don’t quite work the same, right? Kinda like it’s a societal and cultural issue. Oh… Huh, maybe it’s worth a think first before you say things.
Edit: this is a comparison to show how not OK it is to wave away something terrible people do just because “a small group do it.” It’s made sarcastically. JFC, people, learn to read.
Only a white person would make a comparison this braindead
You really can’t tell this is sarcastic? The quotes?
That might fault. Thought you were being dead serious. My bad
And? Women still have to worry about this.
The scary thing is how many men no one would ever suspect of doing things like that do it.
Reminds me of an IDLES lyric: “Men are scared women will laugh in their face, women are scared it’s their lives men will take.”
they yourjokebutworsed margaret atwood
Men are scared women will laugh in their face
Counterpoint: https://archive.ph/s0bTd
An innocen man lost his career, his wife and children, and his home. That’s a little more than “a laugh to the face”.
And she only got caught because she went to the police. The vast majority of accusations are designed to never come even remotely close to anything properly investigative. They’re meant to impart the maximum amount of social and economic destruction with a minimum of accountability - and preferably none at all.
Cherry on top:
As for the good Samaritan, he says the incident has deterred him from helping a young woman ever again.
And a large number of men are learning from the misfortunes of other men, rather than experiencing such pain and destruction personally. This is why “chivalry” is dead. And good riddance.
I would like to note the man in your example is still alive, which is not a courtesy always extended to women
No, the vast majority of accusations are not designed, they’re just the truth. Sounds like this dude was already sexist though, why would this only keep him from helping women of a vague-yet-predetermined age? Anyone could make such a claim and ruin someone’s life. If he said he refused to help people of the same skin color as her, would that justify being racist? This woman clearly has a diagnosable mental disorder, it doesn’t exactly point to a gender-wide conspiracy, and it certainly doesn’t belie the claim that women have more to fear from men than men do from women. Chivalry should die, it’s just window dressing for systemic gender inequality.
Why is this here?
The world would be better if we had better empathy for each other. I don’t think the poster thinks that men’s problems don’t exist. However so many men seemed to have interpreted it that way. I think the poster is just asking for empathy. There’s no need to be defensive about it if you’re a guy. All they’re asking for is awareness of their problem. We can do better than just dismissing their concerns outright.
This is just instagtam grade ragebait. There are more productive ways we can discuss issues specific to gender and this kind of bullshit is not helping. I come to lemmy to get away from other social media gender wars horseshit.
There are more productive ways but I also feel as though there are better ways for you to reply to me …
If you feel it’s ragebait and maybe it is … then that’s fine. I just see it resonated with a female only community here.
I won’t disagree you on this … if that’s what you came for Lemmy for then this is very annoying.
Why are they being racist and using a black man to illustrate dangerous masculinity!!!1!
Dangerously sexy
It is widely known that only straight white men are responsible for all the evil in the world!
Counterpoint: https://archive.ph/s0bTd
And she only got caught because she went to the police. Most accusations are only meant to destroy careers, so never come close to anything even remotely investigative. HR washes their hands of the man, (usually) blackballs him in the industry, and never tries to find out anything more beyond the woman’s accusation.
Cherry on top:
As for the good Samaritan, he says the incident has deterred him from helping a young woman ever again.
Men are seeing incidents like this, and learning by example before painful experience hammers it home.
The article is 7 years old. That’s how far you have to go back to find an example
deleted by creator
No, not fair point. That is one instance of this happening. Quite literally anecdotal evidence, one of the weakest form of evidence. While horrible, it doesn’t change the fact that one sex is much more likely to be the victim of the other. Women are justified in being wary of men.
Exactly
I’m disappointed in the responses from people trying to pretend that no matter who is on the receiving end of it, the overwhelming majority of violence is perpetrated by men
As soon as guns were invented this bullshit was over. Anyone can be killed by anyone. If you’re worried about it, get a fucking gun. Guns illegal? Better study the blade.
You are an idiot
Hey, I think I found the perfect profile pic for you.
Holy shit, that guy is so cool, changing my PfP, brb
What about a the other 4.2 billion women that don’t live in Shithole USA?
Which part of “study the blade” didn’t you understand?
Ah you mean “Give’em the Birmingham specialé, init?”
This better be satire or I’m showing 1% of my power and taking my upvote back
What about if blades illegal? And before you go there, yeah defence sprays illegal, sticks illegal, stones illegal, even a fucking spoon illegal if they think or you state that it’s for self-defence.
I use getting attacked for self-defense so now that’s illegal too.
razor sharp acrylic nails?
Sounds dangerous, you’d hurt yourself or the people around you all the time. Maybe you could wear little sheaths on them. But still illegal, most likely, if the cops see they’re sharp you’ll be fined (at least) and get them removed.
I’ll counter this with any “real housewives” tv drama bullshit.
Proves that women are all etcetc
I agree with the message but it’s not a shitpost.
I disagree with the message but it’s a shitpost
Ok message aside, how tf is this a shitpost? OP is just saying what they believe. There’s no joke or wink wink or nothin
It’s a low effort post means to spark gender wars again, and it could absolutely be used ironically.
Well, the first paragraph happens a lot and for real reasons,
The second paragraph is exceedingly rare, but not zero
But the overall sentiment is not wrong
The best this post can hope to achieve is to bait the people who perpetuate b into the open where people who are pissed off that A has to happen can make them defend their position and thusly make an incredibly small chance to make a difference.
Anyone at all who gives this more that two seconds of thought knows these issues are not to be compared, but to be seen as part of one complex that should be solved as one, should we ever hope to resolve it.
Accentuating issues on one side while grossly belittling ones on the other isn’t gonna cut it. You won’t magically fix the culture of aggression and dominance as the only acceptable behavior, inability to complain and find healthy guidance, social hierarchies and pressures, exclusion and alienation of men from large parts of social life that can be vital to them, the indoctrination by “men are dangerous”, by reducing it to “oh women don’t smile at them, cry me a river”. Neither will the gross overgeneralizations, lumping half the planet’s population into some psycho category, help resolve the matter.
Men need to receive care, attention, to have a safe space for their emotions, to unlearn the unhealthy parts in a safe environment while keeping in touch with themselves and a healthy masculinity. They need healthy interactions with women to receive a balanced and healthy perspective, learn proper boundaries, dispel unhealthy views. We should be on the lookout for individuals who need help and professional attention, and who is most likely to pose danger if left this way. The very things that make some men dangerous grow at their most in isolation. We shouldn’t let it happen, if not for the sake of men, then for the sake of women.
Women can - and should - take part in that. Let’s start simple: it’s totally healthy to address safety concerns, and a lot need to be said about it, but let’s work on the second part, let’s not compare or reduce someone else’s feelings and struggles in a neverending tug of war. We can talk, and there are intertwined issues on both sides that we need to untangle together. Let’s get it done.
No one owes anyone a smile.
Sure. But that’s not the point
Yeah, well said
My ex girlfriend tried to stab me in my sleep. But I guess I should feel lucky since it’s so statistically unlikely.
The worst part - it’s not statistically unlikely at all!
Men often are at the receiving end of physical and psychological abuse, including by women. Such cases are often dismissed by society, worsening the traumatic experience.
You’re confusing two things. On a personal level, you’re not lucky. The moment something happens, everything changes for the person it happened to. Same with rare illnesses or side effects of drugs or vaccinations.
What doesn’t change is that men go on first dates without taking precautions. I hope that helped
I feel like you shouldnt share live locations unless its e2ee
