That whole requiring documentation to say you don’t need documentation is so absolutely drunken with power maliciousness.
Worked at an airport. The worst part of the job was dealing with the bullshit of TSA. Bunch of useless, self important pricks given unjust authority to harass individuals who are just trying to travel for some performative bullshit designed to soothe the minds of racists.
I felt that woman’s rage building up just from reading that
I’m pissed on her behalf!
Need documentation over 28 weeks, kay, sure, that’s stupid bullshit on its own, but whatevs.
But she’s not. And then they fucking wheedle her.
Fuck off. 24 weeks. Conversation over. Shut the fuck up and do your job.
“I’m at 26 weeks” (actually at 30 weeks)
“Ok you’re good to go.”
something bad happens
“THEY LET ME THROUGH IT’S THEIR FAULT I’M GONNA SUE YOU” and the person loses their job even if they can somehow remember and prove this woman lied.
So your answer is, like always, shitty asshole liars ruin things for decent people.
“THEY LET ME THROUGH IT’S THEIR FAULT I’M GONNA SUE YOU” and the person loses their job
That’s not liability on the gate agent, its liability on the airline (which needs processes for adjudicating when to ask and to document the answer).
This is something that’s supposed to happen during the ticket sale process, not the moment-before-you-get-on-the-plane.
It is literally not this agent’s job to probe. And if she’s worried about liability, harassing a woman who doesn’t qualify for her investigation is a bigger liability concern, particularly if she delays the flight or tries to boot the passenger.
which is why the policy is dumb. it should be a document proving you’re under 28w OR a doctor’s note that says you’re fine to fly.
Liars are everywhere. And we all have to do our own duty (to ourselves) to spot it/set passwords/monitor bank receipts/ keep up to date/ etc… No, it Doesn’t make it right that there are so many con artists out there(and they should absolutely be held accountable) but in this case it’s their literal job to observe and hold to rules and maintain their sector: they can’t take that failure to hold to a rule in a reasonable way out on everyone else.
I try the ‘if this were a date’ metaphor to see who really is the irrational person in the situation.
This situation in dating would be like if a person went around to people saying ‘prove to me you’re not going to be a manipulative asshole’ and post ‘no manipulative assholes allowed’ on their profile as their strategy to weed out assholes. But really it’s just weaseling out of duty to set healthy boundaries or taking on any observational work when shit comes up. It’s lazy. That person would be seen as the one with the problem and shirking every personal responsibility to monitor their own life, looking for ways to pass their responsibility to their own happiness and security onto everyone else.
If it sounds like it would be insane if it were a dating strategy: they are in the wrong.
In this case the person is literally being paid to monitor and take responsibility over security and they still shirked their basic responsibility pushing it entirely on the target to prove to them that they are secure despite the paperwork (set by their own standard of rules) was not required.
if anything : anyone using that excuse of someone bucking the system should be talking to management to let them know the rules are not secure as they are. Perhaps they require passengers to hold the paper to say they are allowed to travel. eg: like they do with passports. A doctor’s note acknowledging they are pregnant and what week they are in so they can compare to the rules might do better here rather than the other way around.
Honestly, if I were her I’d be at least a bit miffed at the boyfriend at that point, for undermining my righteous fury.
There’s only so much energy each of us has to fight the bullshit. You aren’t going to win every battle. So you need to pick your battles and spend your energy wisely. The post says they were getting on a plane. Travel in general comes with a lot of bullshit to navigate. If you use all your energy up and you haven’t even gotten on the plane yet, you’re going to be fully exhausted before you reach a safe recharge space and be in meltdown territory.
I think bf properly chose to defuse this situation because the lowly worker making the demands may have zero ability to influence policy and has their job at risk if they don’t follow it. Alternatively, the worker may be on a power trip and has the ability to use their power to fuck up your travel. Yes, you’ll get grounds for a complaint, maybe a refund, but that “justice” will arrive days, weeks or months after the offense. Your travel will have already been screwed, and it was totally avoidable by providing enough benign info to satisfy the worker.
I’m not saying “always capitulate”, but make sure the rage is worth the cost. If the jackboots show up at my front door asking me for information on activities of the gay couple that lives next door for no other reason than that they are gay, I’ll tell the jackboots to pound sand.
All of that is well and good. But I’d still spend a teeny tiny bit of energy to say “Next time let me handle it, or back me up. I need a partner, not a ref.” If mama’s going in, help or get out of the way.
Each couple’s relationship’s are different. So that sounds like your advice would be compatible with your desired relationship.
I can assure you that what the boyfriend did in this example can be being “a partner”. Part of being a partner in my relationship is offering a “check” on a course of action. We do this for each other. If escalation is called for, we have to generally agree on it. When you escalate, you commit the other person to your cause (and the consequences). If the consequence in the above example would have been to screw up months worth of planning on a vacation before we even left the airport, that affects both people. It has to be worth it. In this situation, I agree with the boyfriend, it wasn’t worth the battle.
Everything that would ultimately be accomplished from escalating with the worker (and possibly facing immediate consequences) could still have been accomplished without escalating, including contacting the company and complaining. In a moment of passion many times that’s not clear. If one partner is thinking more clearly than the other in the moment, then it helps both if the clear headed one provides the “check”. In my relationship I’ve been in both roles, the checker and the checked. I love my partner for both.
I need a partner, not a ref.”
If my partner told me “[don’t be] a ref”, I’d probably nicely communicate “Don’t write a check you might require me to cash without my buy-in.”
None of this says your relationship or approach is wrong. There is no universal objective “right” or “wrong” in this one. You and I have different approaches, so the only way it would be “wrong” is if we are in a relationship together. From our differing opinions here, I think we’re both equally glad we’re not together.
None of this says your relationship or approach is wrong. There is no universal objective “right” or “wrong” in this one. You and I have different approaches, so the only way it would be “wrong” is if we are in a relationship together.
At no point did I suggest that right or wrong was of concern here, and your use of quotes is bizarre. I simply stated what I would do in that situation. I’m honestly not sure what the goal of your straw man is here.
I think we’re both equally glad we’re not together.
What an absolutely weird thing to say. Friend, I’ve never met you, have zero desire to interact with you further, and I have absolutely no idea why you feel the need to evaluate the degree to which you and I want to be together. I think you need a snack and a nap, then maybe go take a walk outside.
At no point did I suggest that right or wrong was of concern here, and your use of quotes is bizarre.
I don’t mean to go grammary-Nazi on you, but I wanted to give you this information to communicate I had no intention of trying to offend you or strawman you here.
I believe you concluded that I used reason #1, when I wasn’t:
“1 To quote a source directly or indirectly - Direct quotes use the exact words from a source and require quotation marks. Indirect quotes restate or paraphrase those words or ideas and don’t require quotation marks.”
In fact, I was using reason #5:
“5 To discuss words - If you want to discuss a word, phrase, or letter in writing without using its intended meaning, set it apart with quotation marks. Depending on the styling format, some writers alternatively use italics without quotation marks.”
I used this because “right” and “wrong” have subjective meanings, and putting them in quotes meant I was intentionally avoiding adding my own subjective values of those words to the discussion. I was recognizing, in text, that different audiences can and will land on either side of an argument, and in this case there isn’t one side that is objective because its subjective to each of us.
What an absolutely weird thing to say. Friend, I’ve never met you, have zero desire to interact with you further, and I have absolutely no idea why you feel the need to evaluate the degree to which you and I want to be together.
I wasn’t evaluating our degree to be together. We are talking about relationship style preferences. The style you communicated is not one that everyone is compatible with. The style I communicated is is also not one that everyone is compatible with. There’s nothing wrong with either of our relationship styles. Should two completely rando people that neither of us know each hold the relationship style we each hold, they would be incompatible with each other, and neither would be wrong. They would just be wrong for the relationship style of each other. That is all I was saying in that text.
That’s absolutely ridiculous. He was doing his part in trying to keep her calm and trying to help defuse the situation. To be mad that he noticed a problem starting to boil over and handled it is insane. A partner helps in exactly these situations. Its not us vs ourselves. The issue can be addressed after. Why risk getting thrown off
Yeah in most places airlines have zero obligation to actually put you on a flight. If you start to raise your voice, act upset, cause a scene, it nearly always results in your ticket(s) getting cancelled and airport security getting called. Don’t let a braindead airline agent ruin your travel plans, it’s not worth it
I was hoping the story ended with “my usually cheerful unbothered bf told them politely but firmly to eat shit” but he just instantly capitulates to the bureaucracy? Wack
Getting on the airplane is way more important than feeling superior to a bottom-rung worker.
They’re allowed to arrest you for something they completely made up. Probably not the safest hill to die on.
These aren’t actually cops. They have as much authority as a mall rent-a-cop. They have no authority to make arrests. The most they can do is report you to the FTC (I think this is the right alphabet org.) and get you banned from flying.
Nah they can kick you off at the “Captain’s discretion”
we as a unit must put up a united front
I think she handled this brilliantly. I’d have only changed the last intrraction.
“No. I am only 24 weeks pregnant. Do I need documentation if I’m only 24 weeks pregnant?”
“Can you please point to the policy that says I need a note at 28 weeks? Right there? You’re absolutely correct, that IS what the policy says. Well done! Now point to the policy that says I have to provide a note to you that I’m at less than 28 weeks. Take your time, I’m patient.”
I know this isn’t relevant to the post, but why do you need a doctor note for ‘any’ amount of weeks?
Its a low pressure, low oxygen, cramped environment that can complicate existing issues a lot more than some people realize.
I know of someone who died because a really bad freak ear infection ruptured at altitude and they bled out before the plane could land.
Its not like planes aren’t safe, its just that high risk individuals and situations need extra precautions.
I thought I was going to die on a plane during depressurization once. My head literally felt like it was going to pop from my forehead and the pain was so immense I hunched over as to not cause panic in the aircraft.
It had happened a couple other times before this particular instance where the front of my head felt immense pressure during the planes decent. It also caused major headaches that lasted several days after the incident.
I looked it up after this event and made an immediate appointment with my doctor. Turns out some 10% of men can be affected by this where fluid builds up in your forehead “sinus pouches” I’ll call them, and during the planes decent it will depressurize. During depressurization this fluid will push against your brain. You can see a similar action with a half filled waterbottle during this time. They implode a little bit. That’s what was happening to my head.
My doctor prescribed me a nasal spray I need to take 30 minutes before take off to drain my sinus. It’s worked ever since.
Aw man you could’ve recreated the head exploding scene from scanners on a plane. That would’ve been the best prank ever.
Glad your head is unexploded though.
I wouldn’t even be mad if someone next to me popped. I’d be like holy shit I can’t believe I get two arm rests.
Phew, I can finally lie down. Too bad it only happened during descent
Fun fact, they did the special effects for that scene by shooting the fake head with an actual shotgun.
Jesus Christ. 😧
I suppose the airlines want that for liability reasons. But I’m curious of ‘why’ pregnant women need a doctor’s note and not, say, folks with heart conditions then. Are there other groups that require some authority figure to give them medical permission to fly or do we only not trust pregnant women to listen to their doctors?
And adding to that: Depending on the flight you might be hours away from a suitable landing location with usually no medical personell or medical supplies beyond some band-aids available.
If something goes wrong, even unrelated to pressure, oxygen or cramped environment, you might be stuck up there for a very long time before you can get to a hospital.
Probably because you might end up giving birth prematurely on the flight and they don’t wanna be liable for anything
Fascist country. Controlling women fascistically. Old white guys who take pills to make their decrepit dicks work on their mistresses and aids and probably children are very concerned about “Gods will” when it comes to pregnancy and womens bodily autonomy.
Something something Margret Atwood.
I feel this in my very soul. Today I had a work communication from an outside group that my team has a “streamlined” submittal process. The purpose of the streamlining is to reduce the number of documents we have to share and review to save time.
The request came asking for additional documents for a recent submittal and stated that it was their policy since the beginning of the year (I have had multiple submittals since then and this was the first time hearing this). I replied that I would be happy to submit the requested documents, but also directed them to their own guidance document saying that the extra documents were not required.
Their response came back that the documents aren’t required, and that they weren’t going to review them, but they still wanted them anyways to just put in the files. I about lost my shit because that’s functionally the same as being required! I asked if this was from the beginning of the year why is this the first I’m hearing about it?
“Oh we forgot we were now requesting them.”
I know, it’s really annoying when you just want war and someone helps you out to fix it all
I mean, it kinda makes sense? I doubt you can see the difference confidently between 24 and 28 weeks, and what if the person was lying? Idk what their policy is, but if she was lying and something went wrong, it might cause problems for the agent.
I use “are you calling me a liar?” which is probably more effective in the UK than the US.
Ugh I HATE that phrase. I’m American and any time someone says that to me I just want to reply “no, I just think you are ignorant” but I know that would just get me punched.
Also in the “factual but getting punched” category of responses would be: “No, I’m not saying you’re a liar. You don’t need to be a liar to still be in the wrong.”
Someone saying that is looking for a fight. I just say yes and try to block the punch.
Yeah no that definitely doesn’t work in the US.
In recent years there’s been an anti-Karen sentiment going around in the country, so these days any sort of pushback from the public usually gets immediately shut down, even if the customer isn’t actually being a Karen. Today’s service industry employees have zero fucks to give.
Wait until some brilliant MBA comes up with the idea to charge an extra baggage fee up to 28 weeks and an extra passenger after
make it a tax only conservatives have to pay.
You need to purchase a second seat for two people.
*Punches themselves in the stomach
Ok now I’m at 0 weeks, can i get on the fucking plane?
Good for her bf. I would’ve been like “she said she was 24 weeks not 28, she doesn’t need a note.”
wtf any ways, you should check your health to take any flights, more if you are pregnant woman.
Lmao: I wanted to say only “pregnant woman” but I said it in other way XD Sorry. I’ve already edited the comment
Women shouldn’t be allowed on flights anyway, it gives them hysteria and can make their uteruses fly out
Its true, I’ve seen it happen with my own eyes.
