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My dumbass thought it was a slipper at first.
Oh. Ohhhh
Also works for slippers.
I thought it was this:
Put your right foot in, take your right foot out. Put your right foot in, and you shake it all about. Do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around, that’s what it’s all about
Dancing in your slippers, right?
RIGHT?
First, keep your left foot firmly planted! Cock your right foot up like you’ve seen Michael Jackson do.
Next, spin your left foot around 360 degrees while jiggling your right foot like your heater’s on the fritz!
Ditto. The comments enlightened me.
Thank you.
The real cheat sheet:
Was doing this on an old girlfriend and she busted out laughing her ass off. WTF?! The guy before me gave her our secrets!
Or she has another girl secret.
Nah, that motherfucker let out even more secrets. And she told me!
One time I fingered her a bit, but my hands up and head her head to kiss her. Laughing her ass off again!
“You’re just checking if it’s safe to go down there!”
Her ex was a traitor to all mankind.
Previous was from a culture with a caligraphic languange.
Ok I’m gonna try hiragana and katakana one day…
“you forgot the R, you halfwit!”
Remember though, capital letters. Don’t dot the i.
…also j
Lowercase j takes you down to the taint
Wherefore?
Nice moves!
I’ve been doing this on a daily basis since I broke my ankle. It’s surprisingly challenging.
I was hoping to cover the fact of this up with a factual, innuaden-lavey way to make this funny by the time I was done typing it, but no, today you just learned something about my routine.
Step 1: inspect
Step 2: push hood up
Step 3: rotate clitoris counterclockwise 360 degrees
Step 4: spin clitoris around central axis left and right.
Congratulations! You spawned the Hydra in GTA:SA
Open the maintainance hatch, unscrew the old clitoris and swap it out for a new one.
Might as well check the oil while you are at it
step 1: bop it
step 2: twist it
step 3: pull it
step 4: find a new partner
For more information check the (wo)man page clit(1)
Or the Arch Wiki
If the mouse isn’t going anywhere, either adjust the sensitivity or buy a new nub
quick cheap option is my shameless self insert post here:
https://lemmy.world/post/34593380
(Oh wait… you were talking about that other clit???)
All of this is useless if you don’t exite her nuber one organ for sex, ger brain. You get muuuch more if you find what’s the mood she like what is the scene she wants. This is an extra in comparison.
Look guys all I’m saying is useful to know how to get girls horny but better is ahow go get your girl horny.
Do I reach in through the nose or ears?
If you ask Walter Freeman he’d tell you to go through the eye
Neither.
Ask her to close her eyes.
(Probably does not really matter whether she does or doesn’t)
Using your finger, gently trace lines around the neck, jawline, down to the collar bone, around the breast, along the sternum, follow the bottom of the ribcage, cross to the hip… you get the idea.
Ideally, be somewhat unpredictable, teasing, double back a few times, mix things up … labor or modulate the instensity of your own breath a bit.
Pay attention to her own breath modulations, her twitches or squirms.
Also obviously works better with lighter, or no clothing.
Think of this as maybe drawing arcane runes, casting a spell… tell a slightly different story every time.
Remember the wise word of Dr. Frank-N-Furter.
Antici-
.
…
…
-pation.
If done correctly, the uh ‘slipper’… should be extremely eager to meet you by the time you get to it.
You need to go to the hospital right now. You’re having an aneurysm
Bro… Are you ok?
minor spelling mistake
Her nuber one organ for sex: ger brain.
I spent way to much time thinking that was a pink slipper. The first two made sense but then I was lost.
I saw loss before I saw anything else, I seriously need to touch grass
When you do that, you’ll feel like you’re recreating the steps of loss, one panel at a time
Fun fact most girls like when you suck it as well
She still does not like it.
Some women just don’t enjoy receiving oral. Not when it is done wrong, not at all.
Also some men don’t enjoy blowjobs.
That explains what the arrows are for then. They seem quite misleading, I thought it was some sort of advice for animations until reading comments.
I thought it was for the finger.
Pretty sure I got myself one of those.
Hmu let’s find out together
Don’t know what to think of this honestly.
Just do it.
How do I hit them up though?
Dude your the Wizard Pope, you could steal my nose while I sleep, I just could ignore brain waves due to some nasty pasty things…
You will find a way!
Okay let’s do it.
Took me a minute to figure out what this was. If I ever hook up with a man that has one, I’ll put this info to good use.
I kind of made a dumb image in my head that isn’t physically possible but the motion indicators in the image made me imagine a guy with his dong already in and he’s somehow spinning while connected. It’s funnier in my head, I promise.
I can see into his head, it’s pretty funny.
🚁🚁
Explain
Why is she standing in front of a blank sheet of paper?
I don’t even need to watch this to know exactly what this is. Motherfucker gave the best advice in the universe 30 years ago and it has improved my technique 1,000%.
I know it’s not the video(s) I’m thinking of, because that wouldn’t be on YouTube… But there’s one or two educational “porn” videos that were so fucking helpful for me.
One about giving oral in general, and another specifically about hitting the g-spot. That shit got me laid quite a bit in my 20s lol
I wonder if he ever got to realize that his lasting contribution to humanity was going to be improving the sex lives of several entire generations.
Is it Robin Williams?
Sam Kinison.
What kind of animal just does counter clockwise.
