• MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I have ghosts in my microwave. no joke. the sitiation is they turns up when you use the touchscreen with dirty buttery juicy delicious get to the point boy greasy fingers. then like ten minutes later when no one is touchin it the electrocapacitance builds up and a button just presses by it dang self. we named the ghost Sanjay

  • gedaliyah@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    You joke, but can you show me a single scientific study where they’ve successfully removed the ghosts from water? Checkmate.

    • DisasterTransport@startrek.websitedeleted by creator
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      2 months ago

      I wanted to make a cheap joke about getting the ghosts out by boiling the hell out of it but I wound up in a rabbithole about supercritical water. It turns out you can boil the hell into water. With a lot of heat and pressure water can dissolve rock, oil and gas dissolve into the water easily, and if you put organic waste into really angry water that shit will burn. Underwater! It even destroys PFAS and prions!

      • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        my beef isn’t that he says it gets it gets haunted. everyone knows this. it’s just science. my beef is he says it tastes bad. I’LL DIE ON THIS FUCKIN HILL

        • DisasterTransport@startrek.websitedeleted by creator
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          2 months ago

          Well how are you going to get rid of the ghosts if you don’t consume them? You pour it drain and now the drain is haunted and you have to hire a plumber who’s also a practicing priest. Its a very rare job description and I’ve only ever heard of one. He doesn’t come cheap. You’d think it’s a scam if it weren’t for the water ghosts.

          • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Have you been consuming water ghosts? That’s terrible for your karma! The only way to balance your chakras is to drink HOG WATER! HOG WATER! HOG WATER!

    • CalypsoGirl@lemmy.today
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      2 months ago

      Yes but he was just quoting Neil deGrasse Tyson who was quoting Albert Einstein quoting Abraham Lincoln.

    • Wispy2891@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      That’s my main gripe with the state of politics today. They’re so grossly incompetent that it’s not possible to dismiss extremely stupid quotes like this

  • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I had to google to see if it was a real quote (it’s not) because conservatives have completely fucking annihilated the concept of satire.