Chaotic Good Karen.
“RFK questions guidance on not putting spring rolls up your anus.”
Is that him or the worm talking?
Maybe the worm likes spring rolls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is for a brain parasite to order takeout?
If only there was a better way…
I wasn’t going to, but now you’ve got me thinking about it.
It’s the fried ones that are the problem: crispy = sharp edges = torn bowel = septic shock = dead.
The fresh ones with the squishy exterior should feel much more like a penis going into your ass. Choose the sauce carefully - your entire GI tract has receptors sensitive to spiciness.
If you want to push the spicy level but not have a visit from Satan’s eyeball, they make this great barrier ointment called Ilex. Just, uh, you have to be careful not to glue your butt cheeks closed to most folk put some Vaseline on afters. Who knows, maybe they’ve fixed that but i last used it regularly when I wanted to belong to the nuclear taco club but couldn’t get Thursdays off, it’s been a minute.
Best thing to do is just fry the egg rolls inside your bowels. First you coat your lower intestines with aluminum foil, then you shove in the egg rolls and pour in the hot oil.
Well DUH! It’s summer idiots.
I’m sure you can get frozen spring rolls
Bread 🥖
What goes up must always come down
My body, my choice.
Doctor: can you at least wait a few seconds after you take them out of the deep fryer next time?
Several years back, I went to the store at the beginning of summer to get some foam pool noodles for the pool. I couldn’t find them anywhere, not even Walmart.
The next spring, they were everywhere, but they all included a tag or sticker that read “Not to be inserted rectally.”
So we had to go a summer without pool noodles so the government regulators could protect us against some butt stuff some weirdo tried.
if you can shove a pool noodle up yer arse, I don’t think the government should tell you not too
SOMEBODY should tell you not to!
you just did, and that’s enough.
if you don’t mind me, I’m going to get a pool noodle for research
Well, have fun.
“Breaking news”
Doctors don’t know what you put in your but if you also shove an apple up there beforehand.
If I insert the spring rolls into my ass, will I shit them out from my mouth?
I think there is only one way to find out…
Tik Tok challenges are really going to another level.
Fuckin’ big pharma. I ain’t sticking Pfizer’s goddamn wantons up there, I’m sticking with PF Changs just like my paw-pee and his pee-paw before 'em.
