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Hofmaimaier@feddit.org to memes@lemmy.world ·
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6 days ago

they haven't seen that coming

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they haven't seen that coming

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Hofmaimaier@feddit.org to memes@lemmy.world ·
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6 days ago
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  • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    I strongly disagree. He can be circumcised, again and again and again! A ocean safe alternative to calamari!

    • Hofmaimaier@feddit.orgOP
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      Hold up! We could end world hunger! Just like wood supplies, with a permanently lying pinocchio…

      • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        • 🍉 Albert 🍉@lemmy.world
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          6 days ago

          ok, i see the grotesque in there. but… that’s the worst cut off meat to serve, just skin and tendons…

          • a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world
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            5 days ago

            The forearm can get quite meaty.

            • 🍉 Albert 🍉@lemmy.world
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              5 days ago

              yhea, but not sure about that part.

              • a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world
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                5 days ago

                I am a 300 lb lifter. I promise you there is a fuck ton of meat there.

                • 🍉 Albert 🍉@lemmy.world
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                  5 days ago

                  I mean, yhea, but for the same pain you get much more, and less chewy meat from other parts

          • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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            6 days ago

            Easier to reach than the rump. I guess the thigh would’ve been a better compromise.

            • 🍉 Albert 🍉@lemmy.world
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              6 days ago

              I think the rump is less sensitive than the thigh. not once you are past the skin it makes no difference.

              also, those are all tumours anyways, hopefully no teratomas,

      • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        Bingo

      • RaoulDuke85@piefed.social
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        7 days ago

        Stem cells.

    • diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      It would have cost you zero dollars not to say this

      • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        Ahh, but then how would have had this interaction!

      • 🍉 Albert 🍉@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        same goes to you

    • Drusas@fedia.io
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      7 days ago

      Endless organ harvesting.

  • Sausager@lemmy.world
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    Mutants typically gain their powers at puberty. If he was circumcized as a baby would it regrow when he gets his powers? Or just heal stuff from that point forward? Or was wolverine unique in that he always had his healing powers?

    • Hofmaimaier@feddit.orgOP
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    • JcbAzPx@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      He was born in a British colony long before circumcision would have been anything other than a religious rite.

      • BlueFootedPetey@sh.itjust.works
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        4 days ago

        Questions wasnt about his history. It was a hypothetical.

      • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        Christianity was around before Britain so it would still be likely.

        • NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world
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          Christian circumcision wasn’t a thing back then, that didn’t start until the Kellog’s company sold the idea to christians alongside bland cereal to stop children from masturbating.

          Edit: This is not a joke, this is actual documented history.

    • s@piefed.world
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      Wolverine has a belly button but he has not regrown his umbilical cord

  • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    On the contrary, wolverine can be circumcised infinitely

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Sisyphus: thanks for the offer, but I’ll stick to the rock.

      • Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        5 days ago

        Good thing he’s not Jewish, the rabbi would still be…

  • Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml
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    You absolutely can circumcise Wolverine he just won’t stay that way for very long, if anything he’s the most circumcisable guy ever because you can do it over and over again

    • 🍉 Albert 🍉@lemmy.world
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      Logan’s foreskin is the new Schrödinger’s cat.

      he’s both the most circumciseable and least circumciseable person

  • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    7 days ago

    Technically untrue, it just doesn’t last. Similarly, he can have his ears pierced, but the jewelry will quickly be expelled or subsumed. 🥲

    • FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world
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      Now I’m imagining wolverine putting in loop earrings and his skin just grows overtop of them until it looks like flesh earrings

      • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        Don’t even start down the biomod rabbit hole that could’ve been.

        Or, do, but please get someone fromWhat If… on the line, too. 🤪

  • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
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    Reminds me of True Blood where one of the characters loses her virginity after becoming a vampire. So every time she wanted to have sex, she would have to painfully break her hymen all over again because it kept regrowing.

    EDIT: It was Deborah Ann Woll’s character “Jessica Hamby”, so not a minor character.

    • Hofmaimaier@feddit.orgOP
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      Thx, but I didn’t want to know that…

  • Muffi@programming.dev
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    Infinite kebab glitch

    • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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      “Boss, he’s no longer regenerating… looks like he’s used up the last of his batteries to give us a little more Kebap.”

      “Godspeed, soldier.”

  • finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    Why aren’t his earlobes and nose really long, given he’s over 200 years old, and a lot of old people have extra growth in their nose and ear cartilage? I’m sorry, but until this is addressed in comics, I just can’t believe Wolverine is real.

    • Mister_Feeny@fedia.io
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      Because his healing factor gives him the body of someone in like their mid-30’s, not the body of a really old person that would have extra growth in their nose and ear cartilage?

    • leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      Easy, with his lifestyle his ears and nose are definitely younger than 200 years; he’s lost and had to regrow them several times both on paper and on screen.

    • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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      Not sure about the ears, but he lost his nose for a while when his adamantium was removed. That probably reset its growth.

  • Javi@feddit.uk
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    If anything he can be circumcised repeatedly, surely?

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Prepuce

    Just leaving this here, with the understanding that Jesus can magically heal people.

    • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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      I could have gone at least three more days into the new year without having known about this.

      Goddamnit.

      • Hofmaimaier@feddit.orgOP
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        7 days ago

        Amen!

    • panda_abyss@lemmy.ca
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      The man multiplied bread and fish, why not his own foreskin?

  • Glytch@lemmy.world
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    By this logic Laura Kinney’s hymen gets broken every time she has sex.

    • ayyy@sh.itjust.works
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      6 days ago

      Good thing theres no such thing as “breaking” a hymen.

  • Jankatarch@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Or would it be more like getting a haircut to him?

    • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      7 days ago

      Most hair maxes out in length because of wear

  • Stern@lemmy.world
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    Also, zero or practically non-existent refractory period.

  • Bruncvik@lemmy.world
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    Cassidy from The Preacher would like to have a word…

    • Hofmaimaier@feddit.orgOP
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      7 days ago

      They already did…

  • BroBot9000@lemmy.world
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    https://youtu.be/-7E-ttJpJ7Q

    You can’t guillotine the Wolverine peen.

    • 🍉 Albert 🍉@lemmy.world
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      aut BroBot9000, may I please have that 2 minutes back?

      • BroBot9000@lemmy.world
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        You get one minute back for every billionaire you put in the guillotine.

        • 🍉 Albert 🍉@lemmy.world
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          but it will take more than one minute to process each parasite😭

          • BroBot9000@lemmy.world
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            Right! The task seems almost Sisyphean, like circumcising Wolverine. 😏

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