If you wanna log your logs the old fashioned way with just a spreadsheet:
Date / time
- Small / medium / large
- Bristol Scale
- color
- could also add odor or discomfort if you’re worried about that
On a second spreadsheet in that workbook, keep a food diary, because that’s gonna provide a LOT of context (and you might discover some ways to be nicer to your tummy).
Considering there has been a massive wave of smart cameras everywhere in and outside homes in the past and especially recently getting “hacked”, it’s not a stretch that randomly picking cameras to look through could yield a droopy balls and veiny cock jumpscare
Literally a shit post. Well done sir.
The Dekoda costs $599 plus a mandatory subscription of at least $6.99 per month.
Imagine paying $600 plus $7 a month for Kohler to look at your shit.
Jokes on the intern?
No shit.
What the fuck are we doing as humanity
Storing petabytes of shit photos on coal burning servers cooled by drinking water.
Because a guy in a black turtleneck told us to.
Nothing productive, just making $$ off rubes.
Sometimes this timeline is too absurd not to love a little bit
I pray everyday that someone sneaks up behind me and hits my head with a large hammer
Im always watching the lamps just in case.
Feels like we’ve landed in an episode of Brasseye
Anyone who decided to buy a smart toilet with internet access deserves to not have an encrypted connection
Only a matter of time before the Kohler Miracle occurs, a magnificent turd in the shape of the Virgin Mary.
What a shitty design.
Literally using people’s shit to train their shit AI.

c/StallmanWasRight
I’d just like to interject for a moment. What you’re refering to as Shitcam, is in fact, GNU/Shitcam, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Shitcam.
That’s because they call it Ass-to-Ass Encryption
Blast from the past there.
um, couldn’t you just look down at your shit, or take your own picture on your smart phone to compare to other poop images on the web? Like why the fuck would anyone need a toilet camera?
Might drop phone into the shitty toilet! But if the camera is specifically designed for my toilet, can’t drop it in! What an amazing product idea for people like me! Also, I don’t tell you your hobbies are dumb. If you’re curious, I have a graphed some data showing my normal distribution of bristol scale output for the last few years. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to fish the phone out of the toilet to collect that data (don’t worry, it’s waterproof, so it gets rinsed off during the flush).
End to end to end. That’s 50% more ends so it has to be safer.







