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If it worked that way he probably would though.
Johnny Kidneyhands
I saw Keanu Reeves at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
Finally people are beginning to see the REAL Keanu.
And bonus points to Keanu for inventing a new word.
keep that filthy reddit copypasta out of lemmy
It’s from /mu/ originally
I thought the second photo was John Wick twisting the hand of the guy next to him to keep him quiet
He’s so dreamy
Johnny Kidneyhand.
Little known fact, Keanu can regenerate organs.
John(ny) is just the best!
Average Reddit Post be like:
For free?
Just one kidney? Pathetic.
fake
good point its probably true
uhh you mayybe shouldn’t handle a kidney with your bare hands??
You’ve clearly never watched The Good Doctor.
I haven’t, but a good doctor probably wouldn’t do that.
In the show, he was a good doctor and was able to troubleshoot a kidney by hand (eye, actually, IIRC).
You’re right, though … In real life a good doctor couldn’t and wouldn’t.
What about a good sturgeon?
A flock of good sturgeons can strip the flesh from a man’s bones–kidneys included–in seven minutes flat, without even using their hands.
A flock of bad sturgeons take between ten and eleven minutes because they do use their hands, which slows them down to about two thirds speed.
It’s only safe to do in third-world countries.
how else do you eat kidney beans?
with a fork or a spoon, usually
Classical keanu
Only one kidney?
