I know high fiber foods is a large part of it, but is there anything else to it?
A bidet
I find they’re hard to eat.
You have to eat them one bidet at a time.
- Wax your ass
- Get a squatting stool
- Don’t eat spicy food
- High Fiber, meaning, don’t eat anything purréd
- Try to eat a salad with lunch/dinner
- Limit or eliminate processed foods
- Limit saturated fat intake up until the point your gallbladder can keep up
- Red sauces, not white sauces
- Eliminate fried food
- Eat foods that are in a form where you can visually discern each major ingredient. (That’s kinda where the term “Whole Foods” comes from)
- Eat lean proteins like chicken/fish/Pork (not bacon)
You lost me at 3 ngl.
They lost me at no. 1
Shaving works too. I’ve gotten pretty good at getting it clean with a double edge safety razor. About once every couple of weeks keeps the wiping pretty easy.
somehow, putting a blade to my asshole doesn’t really sound that appealing.
I used to think the same thing and would have my wife wax me. The razor is much faster, doesn’t hurt at all, and accomplishes the goal of keeping my massive ass forest under control.
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I tried it and it’s not for me. I prefer two stable flat feet on the ground.
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Why no spicy food?
I think it’s more likely to accelerate digestion and it can give you the runs, not 100% sure on that explanation though
Basically this. Increased gut motility from inflammation reduces the time spent extracting water from your stool, which is exactly counterproductive to the OP’s question.
It totally depends on the individual, but jalapeños give me diarrhea every time without fail. Spicy food causes general GI upset and inflammation.
If jalapeños give you diarrhea you should try a habanero or a ghost pepper instead.
It is kind of funny that jalapeños sometimes cause my stomach to get upset, but habaneros never do.
So I just thought to duck duck go why and apparently pickled jalepenos are more likely to cause digestive issues and that matches up for me.
I eat peppers that would make a billy goat puke, no gut issues. It’s a matter of getting used to, i.e., burning out, the neurotransmitters that sense capsaicin.
People tend to think hot peppers are rough on the guts, but consider, birds chow them with no issue. No nerves for capsaicin, no problem. See? No cat. No cradle.
I love me a good Vonnegut reference
You might just be allergic to jalapeños, my cousin.
Taco Bell takes issue with like half of these.
Only thing id add is staying properly hydrated
A bidet.
Interesting diet choice…
It’s pretty good after the first few bites.
Fry ups make my shit come out like a greased otter. Probably all the oil.
Healthy, fibre heavy foods make a right mess, like tar. Even the travel bidet struggles with that.
It sounds like you may have a a slight case of steattorhea? Do these otter poops float as well?
Because if so, it might be some slight absorption issue. I seem to have one, my poops being very much like you describe. Both, at times.
But when I went on an exclusion diet and then added things back in I realised I apparently have a slight gluten sensitivity. Leaving out gluten and dairy completely made an insane change. Even when I would eat greasy chicken wings, I wouldn’t get dem greasy otter poops. Just like, more regular poops, despite what I ate.
I’m not saying you have the same thing, just saying I had that.
Related though, there is I believe like an over-the-counter supplement that’s enzymes which help with the absorption / break down of the food, because greasy stools can be a result of too little of some pancreatic enzymes or something.
Am not a trained medical professional, btw, so don’t take medical advice from me. But like, things to look up at least.
As a gluten and fructose intolerant person, I agree. That shit makes shit shit.
I deal with it by smoking copious amounts of weed.
Makes nausea and digestive pain a lot easier when you empty your entire guts into the toilet bowl and get off the throne 4 kilos lighter.
No such thing, your own body is your own body and how it functions is entirely for you to manage, figure out and maintain. The shape of your anus and buttocks has as much impact on the cleanliness and ease of your bowel movements as your diet.
You have to follow the basics of self-care and have a healthy diet including a lot of vegetables, grains and legumes with fiber, low-fat proteins, healthy oils like olive oil in moderate amounts. Stay away from processed foods, and if you don’t know what constitutes processed food, you need to learn to walk before you run. Do some searches. You have the wealth of Humanity’s knowledge at your fingers.
Just don’t eat fast-food, cut back on beef, learn to make beans and rice and chicken/tofu dishes and eat some fresh greens daily if you can. Get exercise every day. DRINK LOTS OF WATER EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK YOU’RE THIRSTY.
Will all this give you solid, clean bowel movements? No idea, in fact if you’re not used to eating like this, you will probably need months to adjust to it and may have periods of loose stools or even constipation before you start having healthier, easier bathroom times. You will also save a lot of money and you will feel healthier and have more energy and may live longer. I would take all that over “no wipe poops.”
If you’re really struggling wiping, stop. Buy a bidet or a hand-held shower-head with a long hose and just use toilet paper to wipe dry. It’s absolutely criminal that parents don’t teach their kids proper bathroom hygiene and now we have a whole generation of people who struggle in the bathroom.
Thanks for the random response! Most everything you said makes good sense 👍
Nah, no problems wiping here, I just asked as a generic discussion question that I think everyone has some interest in.
Glad you appreciate it. I figured it might be just a polling question for engagement, which is why I dropped a thorough back-to-basics summary.
But I stand by the last part, I have read far, far too many posts across different sites from grown-ass men and women who struggle keeping the area between their legs from crusting over. There are men scared to touch their own asses and never wash lest they turn gay, and women who think getting water in their vagina will make them go to hell or pregnant or shit, and posts by the partners of these people who have no idea how to address it.
We have a checked out generation relying on Grok and ChatGTP to tell them how to do basic human functions. I feel like this is a recipe for even worst outcomes somewhere down the road.
Fiber and good gut biome. It can take a while to correct if out of wack.
Eat less frequently. OMAD or skip one meal. Also if you’re drinking a lot of water, supplement with electrolyte capsules (no Gatorade) to maintain optimal function. Reduce or eliminate snacking between meals.
the large intestines absorbs water, electrolytes, and vitamins. It won’t function as well if your shits out of whack.
Hire a ghost to poop for you. Ezpz
Instructions unclear; shit in sink.
Clean your ass.
Why?
So you don’t smell like shit. Even a terrible parent will teach you at least that much.
I guess you missed the question and never had the experience then.
Ever so rarely, sometimes some people have the rare chance to drop a perfectly healthy log, and their very first wipe came back clean.
The question wasn’t about whether I should wipe my ass or not, there’s always that single safety check wipe anyways. The question was about a better diet with the goal of that hypothetical no-wipe, or at least reducing wipes, poo.
Then you’re right, I misunderstood. Sorry.
To properly answer then, I’d be looking at indigestible or underdigested fats, particularly if it’s sticky or hard to clean.
I call those poops flawless victories.
Get a bidet
Those don’t taste that great though, not for my daily diet anyways…
Sugar free orange flavored metamucil. No joke. Mix up one or two spoonfuls each morning and in the next day or two your shits will start being magical.
Citrucel is also pretty great especially if metamucil gives you some gas.
If pooping was an Olympic sport, fiber would be performance enhancing.
Not entirely true. Metamucil, as it contains mostly soluble fiber, will help with regularity, but not with firmness. For firmer stools, thus “no wipe,” more INsoluble fiber is the way to go.
Seconding this. It’s honestly a little embarrassing how much taking solid shits improves your life. Bathroom breaks are quicker, don’t stink as much, and you save a fortune on toilet paper. My diet has since improved to the point where I don’t need it, but I still keep a couple tubs of it in the pantry just in case.
wax
I need this answer too lol
Lots of alcohol. I’ve met guys who haven’t had a solid shit in years.
I don’t know but I do know eating frosted mini wheats, maybe 9-12 per day, dry, certainly helps.
