ExLisper Site
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 23 days ago

She's a keeper

sh.itjust.works

message-square
42
link
fedilink
964

She's a keeper

sh.itjust.works

kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 23 days ago
message-square
42
link
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or # to comment.
  • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    71
    ·
    23 days ago

    Me: “I’ll do my best but you know how hard it is to resist this.” Gestures at dad bod

    Wife: “Oh, I’m well aware.”

    Me: 😘

    Wife: 😏… 🍆👉👌

    • UnhingedFridge@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      23 days ago

      This man wifes

    • Iron Lynx@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      22 days ago

      Narrator: And then they FUCKED!

  • UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    47
    ·
    23 days ago

    Well, at least the wife thinks highly of you.

  • BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    43
    ·
    23 days ago

    About 16% in men have a fat fetish compared to <1% of women. Also about 36% of women prefer a partner heavier than them. Also, 97% want a man who’s taller than them while about 2 % of women want a man smaller than them.

    Of all the people currently alive, about 7% are women aged 25-35. of those 1% like fat men, of those 2% want the man to be smaller. So you have 0.0014% of any given population who is female 25-35 and likes small fat men. About half of them are single, you you have 0.0007% of any population who will find you attractive.

    In a city of 400,000 people that’s 3

    • deathbysnusnu@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      25
      ·
      22 days ago

      So you’re saying there’s a chance.

      • trepX@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        22 days ago

        Go to a cheap supermarket on a Monday at 2pm and you’ll see those coincidences irl

    • buttnugget@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      15
      ·
      22 days ago

      Where are you getting these numbers?

      • MycelialMass@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        10
        ·
        22 days ago

        Straight out of their butt im guessing

    • Fizz@lemmy.nz
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      15
      ·
      22 days ago

      Don’t do this, don’t give me hope

    • 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝙼𝚎𝚘𝚠@programming.dev
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      23 days ago

      This does assume that these are independent variables, which may not necessarily be the case.

    • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      22 days ago

      The existence of danny devito fucks these numbers all the way up.

      • BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        22 days ago

        Exceptions only confirm this

    • Valmond@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      22 days ago

      3 is just too much for a lazy slob like me

    • Manifish_Destiny@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      22 days ago

      Not bad tbh.

    • BlueFootedPetey@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      22 days ago

      Got a link or anything to back up those stats about partner preferences? Sounds like some made up vcel nonsense.

    • AngryRobot@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      22 days ago

      Physical attractiveness isnt the only kind. Lots of dummy guys get got chicks by being funny or kind.

  • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    36
    ·
    23 days ago

    MY DUMB LUCK: does it anyway somehow

    • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      33
      ·
      23 days ago

      ALSO MY DUMB LUCK: wife is into it

      • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        28
        ·
        23 days ago

        • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          23 days ago

          Isn’t that her daughter? I tell you there is some porn that I’ll never want to understand

          • FlexibleToast@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            53
            ·
            23 days ago

            That’s her clone.

            • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              10
              ·
              23 days ago

              Haven’t watched that show much, I was thinking that was her daughter from another dimension. Far less lines being crossed there haha

              • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                22 days ago

                There is a Mad Max world version of Summer

            • burgerpocalyse@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              edit-2
              10 days ago

              deleted by creator

              • FlexibleToast@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                4
                ·
                23 days ago

                Nope, she’s potentially the original, or a clone. https://rickandmorty.fandom.com/wiki/Space_Beth

                • burgerpocalyse@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  4
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  10 days ago

                  deleted by creator

          • Denvil@lemmy.ml
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            6
            ·
            edit-2
            23 days ago

            I haven’t watched the show, but it kinda looks like a clone of herself, they have the same face

            • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              23 days ago

              Ah, that woud make much more understandable

            • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              22 days ago

              She is a clone. It’s left ambiguous which is the original.

              On the other hand, Jerry and his daughter Summer do share the same face.

  • Lucky_777@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    23 days ago

    We usually say to each other…don’t bring home nasty STDs. Even though we both know…way to busy to fuck someone else.

    • arin@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      23 days ago

      Condoms are used

      • Lucky_777@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        23 days ago

        Even condoms don’t stop some STDs. Best way is to just find a clean one early. Then stick with her or him.

  • boolean_sledgehammer@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    23 days ago

    No guarantees. I know what I’m working with here, babe.

  • SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    23 days ago

    “You never told me not to!”

  • frida@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    23 days ago

    if the wife even has to say that, how insecure is that lol

    • FlexibleToast@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      37
      ·
      23 days ago

      I assumed it was a joke

      • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        33
        ·
        23 days ago

        No, it was very serious. Big red flag. He should hit a lawyer, delete a gym, and social media up.

        • FlexibleToast@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          23 days ago

          Without context we can’t know if it was serious, a joke, or completely made up.

          • Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            9
            ·
            23 days ago

            This platform just doesn’t do jokes, does it?

            • FlexibleToast@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              23 days ago

              Too many people take things too seriously. Without context you just can’t make those sort of judgements.

      • frida@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        23 days ago

  • obnomus@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    22 days ago

    I’m a guy and Idk about this sweatpants things, pls someone give me some context.

Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world

lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

…


2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

…


3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

…


4. No Porn/Explicit

Content


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

…


5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

…


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

…

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 1.72K users / day
  • 4.72K users / week
  • 8.67K users / month
  • 15.5K users / 6 months
  • 1 local subscriber
  • 33.9K subscribers
  • 3.68K Posts
  • 22.3K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • Striker@lemmy.world
  • Aer@lemmy.world
  • WiildFiire@lemmy.world
  • Decoy321@lemmy.world
  • Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world
  • YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world
  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world
  • BE: 0.19.12
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org