I once said something like “After Eights aren’t as bad as everybody says.”…
America is a country ofmagical thinking, toxic relationships, broken families, imperialism, genocide and concentrated sugar drink.
You will become vitamin C.
I did not have grandparents like this at all; my paternal grandparents were overwhelmed simply by interacting with us at all, and maternal grandparents were only concerned with themselves, and while they didn’t actively dislike us per se, it was like they were all very elderly from my birth onwards. Just sort of an afterthought. It’s not like grandparents today who seem very involved in the lives of their grandkids. I didn’t dislike them save for my maternal grandmother who pitted her children against one another and liked triangulating people, and when she died left her two older daughters 25K each and left all of the rest to the youngest, which was heaps more, but none of them were particularly involved. They never would have gotten me orange juice or paid any attention to something I mentioned. So if you have these grandparents, you’re lucky!
I have a family member whose fridge looks like this.
Because he is an unrepentant alcoholic who sucks down vodka like a fish does water, and thinks hes being clever by hiding it in orange juice.
And hes so “clever” that he doesnt hide the recycle bin, which is always overflowing with empty vodka bottles.
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My folks do this. If I say I like something, I’m getting that for Christmas for the next decade
I asked for a Butterfinger once as a kid and for the next 30 something years, my parents treated it like it was my favorite candy of all time (hint: it’s not).
my mother is somehow the opposite, if i say i don’t want something she’ll always and without fail ask me “since when do you hate [thing]”
Not arguing you’re wrong, but I’ve been witness to the other side of that sort of conversation.
The item was ketchup. Always needed to have ketchup. Then:
Child: “I hate ketchup!”
Mom: "What do you mean? You put ketchup on everything.’
Child: “I’ve never used ketchup. I’ve always hated it.”
[Jump forward a few years]
Child: “Where’s my ketchup?”
Mom: “I thought you hated ketchup?”
Child: “Since when? I use ketchup all the time.”
As the dad, I’m tempted to point out that mom doesn’t need help losing her mind, but as the dad, I also know better than to be involved.
Kids can be maddening. Mine has reflexively started saying the opposite of what they mean when asked a yes or no question.
I’ve heard that orange juice goes for like $11 a gallon in some places lately, so gramps must be ballin rich!
grampa: fuck gold or crypto, i am going OJ
edit: btw, gambling in OJ futures is quite a thing, i think there is even a movie about it
Trading Places, is the movie. 80’s movie
how? wasn’t the whole thing about orange juice that the US just had too many danged oranges so they started advertising it is the breakfast drink? shouldn’t it be dirt cheap?
I forget where I saw that online, but it was somewhere here in the USA. I can’t say I’ve personally seen OJ at that price, but honestly I haven’t ever shopped for OJ, so I dunno.
Still, somewhere between name brand and price gouging and shit, I don’t doubt it a bit. Wherever I saw that posted, it was a photo including the shelf price tag.
$10.99 a fucking gallon!
Someone posted a Canadian store selling it for that much due to tariffs.
This was before the tariffs actually.
Ouch, even worse
I love my mother-in-law. I mentioned one time sixteen years ago that I enjoy red velvet cake, and for the following decade every time she got donuts there was at least one red velvet donut in there.
Now, while red velvet is delicious, it’s basically just chocolate. The real joy of red velvet cake is the cream cheese icing, which was never included on the donut. And even with the icing, it’s like my #3 or #4 favorite cake, and she never brought me a german chocolate cake donut.
She has learned that I prefer the peanut butter cream-filled, though. Now that’s the one that’s always included. Which is part of why I always tell people I lucked out marrying into a super great family.
I told my grandma I was growing a third leg, and she knit me three socks
Is this an euphimism for “my grandma made a sheath for my dick”?
A cock sock.
Lol accurate. For me it was my grandma and corned beef hash. I said I liked it with eggs. Next time she stopped by, she brought a dozen cans of it. Can’t eat that stuff anymore, only homemade from now on because canned corned beef hash smells like dog food.
I would totally drink all of that lol
Grandpa has dementia…
Old people want community…in Yankee land there is no community…this is why people believe in magic
And useless healthcare with a phone ring off the hook with scammers waitting in line to either get the goat or credit card info.
I have an ex-girlfriend who almost exclusively live on orange juice, hummus and bread. So this was basically her fridge along with a big plastic bowl of homemade hummus and the freezer filled with one specific kind of bread. I like all of those things too but not so much I could live off of it.
Hommus slaps though.
I can go through a kilo of hummus a week. I eat it with chips, carrots, celery, bread.
I’m lucky to still have both maternal grandparents at age 41, but grandpa’s mind is unfortunately heavily on the decline. He was always an intellectual which makes it extra painful.
