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That weasel’s name?
Harambe.
The way to return to the correct timeline is simple: Take the dicks out.
South Park is certainly helping, then
This reality is just us refusing humanity and returning to monke. Every day I think more and more about bananas
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Actually it was Pauly Shore
I thought he died in 2003?
Unfortunately I have more belief in humans fucking shit up than I do in accidental weasel hadron colliding.
Also, this says it was in 2016. We were already super fucked by then. I’d be more inclined to believe that we live in a giant simulation that got fucked by the millennium bug.
Not that things were great in 2000, but the point is that 2016 is way too late. It’s like looking at water that’s just starting to boil, and then being surprised when it becomes a rolling boil.
2003 Iraq Invasion
Yeah but in 2000, I still felt like shit roughly made sense. We entered clown world long about the time the LHC fired its first high energy collisions.
The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) was first “fired high energy” when it achieved its first high-energy particle collisions on March 30, 2010. On that date, proton beams collided at a combined energy of 7 TeV, setting a new world record and officially beginning the LHC’s research program.
I remember hearing that that was going to happen and, you know, being mildly concerned. Then it came and went and I forgot about it. But I distinctly remember 2012. A series of truly bizarre things happened in my personal life. I sold a condo I owned at the time and moved away to try and put some distance between myself and what was happening. It was pants-on-head stupid, like I just couldn’t believe what was going on, but it was personal, not earth-shattering, just truly, deeply bizarre.
Shortly thereafter, Trump happened, then covid - and the whole world began being truly, deeply bizarre. Now things have progressed so far that where I used to think I knew a bit about how the world works and where it’s going, I am now utterly adrift. I don’t even try to make sense of it anymore, just to accept it and roll as best I can.
I’m not saying correlation is causation but when I first heard the LHC theory it made me stop and think.
I feel like everyone that heard that theory stopped to think about it. Maybe some people took it seriously, but at the least people entertained the idea for a second.
Turning it on was the mistake. It was activated in 2015.
I think when harambe was murdered is when most people noticed that we’re fucked
In this universe yes but in the weasels timeline weasel based time manipulation is quite common.
Best I can do is a microwave and a banana.
Worth giving it a shot.
Hey, I know this reference!
This just got me thinking how cool it would be to have a game where you come across one of these in disrepair and have to reverse engineer your way to making it work. You’d have a massive complex and lots of nooks and crannies to hide puzzles in. Make it look old and abandoned with overgrowth and I’m even more sold.
Edit: There’s a hidden gem almost exactly like this called Infra. You’re a structural analyst sent in to survey large portions of abandoned infrastructure run by a corrupt governor. Your only job is to take pictures of damage and solve puzzles. Wildly my vibe.
Have u played Abiotic Factor? Cause that’s kinda the vibe
This kills me because the concept looks great, but I’m never really into survival. Hate kill screens in immersive games.
Find a crew to play it with. The game is hella fun when you’re standing in the back chucking briefcases at your pals.
Actually, this is the better timeline. We were shifted into the really bad timeline after the cascade failure occurred right after the first test.
The weasel actually saved billions of lives.
Forseen Consequences
I distinctly remember when they had to shut the LHC down after a bird dropped a baguette on it:
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2009/nov/06/cern-big-bang-goes-phut
https://time.com/archive/6933968/did-a-time-traveling-bird-sabotage-the-collider/
Weasel fried itself on a transformer outside the facility, it didn’t jump inside the collider ffs
Maybe it jumped in to the collider, changed the timeline, got out, then got fried making its escape?
Also, I’m no conspiracy theorist, but you are definitely part of the Time Bending Illuminati trying to control my thoughts!! Well, tough, I’m wearing my foil hat, HA.
Was this before or after Harambe’s death?
It was the weasel that went into the collider. We’ve always been in the same timeline. It’s the weasel that’s now confused and very angry.
alternatively the weasel is now in a good timeline
For what it’s worth — and keeping fully in mind this is a meme and therefore not serious — Starfield (crappy Xbox/PC game from the people who made Skyrim) did this. A particle accelerator experiment (albeit involving an alien artefact) caused reality to split apart. So I’m gonna say, it’s possible!
In that universe, humans also have FTL travel and colonies on hundreds of planets, yet have mysteriously lost the arcane technology known as “email” and require everything to be done in person.
Also most of the colonies are either one family living alone on a distant space rock, or abandoned military outposts full of an inexplicable amount of space pirates, and somehow the two rarely interact.
And humans didn’t destroy earth with climate change, instead the FTL drives they invented blew away the atmosphere… somehow. Yet this is a secret protected by big engine or some shit, because every other habitable planet still lets everyone use their FTL drives near the planet anyway.
God that game sucks.
Yes it does.
Sometimes I miss the shooting. The best gun in the game is locked behind the pirate quest line, but that’s buggy AF. From getting the guards shooting at you for silently KO’ing the guy you’re after on the luxury cruise ship to the three beacons you have to protect (pirate side) or destroy (navy side) just not showing up… and the developers having people report these issues on a dedicated issues channel on their Discord and just not caring enough about their game to fix their shit… it sucks. Now I can’t even remember what it’s called. I just remember pointing at something in my way and clicking or maybe double clicking and it getting erased. Oh yeah. Revenant. Something like that.
Oh yeah, or how the hot Asian pirate chick has this stupidly convoluted maze of a ship and her Captain’s Locker always has like 25k credits in it and she does not care if you take it. That was funny to me.
Game absolutely sucks. And it’s worse because the developers do not care.
Okay… for the whole e-mail thing, if humanity has access to move people faster than light, but lack the ability to move just information faster than light, it would make sense to have a courier move the information, especially if it’s between two bodies that are sufficiently distant. For context, it takes the Mars rovers between 4 to 24 minutes to receive communications from Earth, depending on the distance between Earth and Mars, and that’s with radio, which travels at the speed of light. In addition, in cases where you’re moving large amounts of data between two locations, it could be faster to simply put the information onto a flash drive and deliver it to whoever you are sending it to. In fact, Alphabet/Google uses this method to move data internally.
This is the Inverse Steinsgate worldline where everything bad happens. Covid and climate change are worldline convergence.
Though, for each of those possible timlines to have ever existed, they would have to be played out with humans that have a consciousness. Maybe, we’re that consciousness.
I’m now a firm believer in this theory.
Weasel: There was no other other way.
No it was in 2014. Everything including and after 2014 went pretty fast.
