Boomer Humor Doomergod

Nah, the rocks are fine. It’s putting seeds in the ground that’s the problem. That’s how the seeds get you to do their bidding.

I feel barely human most days, because we are all collectively heinous, so I must have missed that.

Agriculture was a mistake.

Ketchup on a burrito that you don’t know is called a burrito is up there with putting ketchup on a well-done steak

It’s so American to be ashamed of the world laughing at us, and not at all the heinous shit we’ve done.

Arm the pizza delivery drivers!

if they start “treating” autism the entire US tech industry will fail

I’ve been accused of being a lot of bots but never a hasbara bot, whatever that is

Kennedy was shot by the mob and a crazy guy, not Israel.

That’s why the mob killed the crazy guy later, because he stepped on their clout.

A clean death would not satisfy karma

If you’re perceiving panic at all I recommend Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses

Why should I want to save a world where Joe fucking Rogan has any relevance?

In the immortal words of Gonzalo Lira in his “debate” with Lazerpig and Destiny:

The guy who rage quits is the guy who loses

Lazerpig got Lira to ragequit the debate, and Lira ended up dying in a Ukranian prison after being arrested by security services.

'81 baby here. My parents told me I’d jam along to Reagan’s “Born in the USA” ads in my underoos with a tiny plastic guitar. I think that’s the last time I felt national pride.

And who’s gonna buy this stuff when nobody has a job?

They’ve always/never had a problem with retro-updating internal documentation.

Yeah they don’t really prepare you for this in training

Futures markets, which are a way for traders to move stocks when the major exchanges are closed

When are we going to call this the gambling addiction it is?

And what’s the end goal? What’s their plan for when those old people die in a fiery crash while driving Doordash? Nobody’s having kids anymore and immigration ain’t happening so who’s gonna take those jobs?

I’m totally not a time traveler.