I wanna see someone make a midwit meme for Magic the Gathering about the card bloodmoon. The card says “nonbasic lands are mountains.” The idiot would think this turns them into the basic land card called mountain. The genius will know how it actually works, of course. But the midwit would say that it doesn’t take abilities away because it just changes the card’s subtype, which doesn’t inherently remove abilities in general, but for basic lands it does.

But even then it’s a stretch because the midwit in the example would have to be a very narrow slice of the chart. Obviously bloodmoon negatively affects opponents or it wouldn’t see play. Nobody in their right mind is gonna think it buffs cards if they know what it is used for. But still, I remember it tripping me up in a “but wait, why does it do what it does?” way.

It’s super easy, don’t worry. Now, each turn has 5 phases, each of which is further divided into multiple steps…

Countless people have tried to teach me card games, I dont know why. I dont give a fuck about card games, but never the less they persist.

I usually say just tell me the object of the game and then tell me what to do whenever it’s my turn. After a few turns and just observing the game and asking a few questions, I can manage on my own. Way more enjoyable than trying to parse even the instruction booklets.

As a frequent teacher of tabletop games, yes, this is often what people look like when I’m halfway through my first sentence.

“OK, the point of the game is to deal 20 damage to your opponent.”

“what 🫠”

“My sibling in Christ, you asked me to teach you”

Wait until you get to how to count to ten using 2 and 3 cards in Euchre.

Make an app where balatro joker teaches you other card games