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Taoist bad driver: I am constantly following the Tao, and for some reason the traffic was going against the flow of the Tao. it is the fault of society if they decides that they must follow artificial rules of driving instead of the Tao.
Amish bad driver isn’t that far from a body cam video i saw where the driver was passed out drunk while the horse ran the carriage into the cop car
Solipsist bad driver: all the other cars are just figments of my imagination.
Muslim driver: You must wait exactly three seconds at stop signs.
You must always park facing Mecca at all times.
What’s this in a reference to?
Number three keeps randomly coming up in Islam.
When performing wudhu, each limb must be cleaned three times.
When going to sajdah and ruku, a quick prayer is recited three times.
When not being able to fulfill some pilgrimage requirements, people fast for three days.
When drinking a glass of water, it is done in three gulps.
…Some of this is actually written rules but a good chunk is just adults being taught that and passing along, and don’t actually have to be three (in fact, very much country/culture specific, or even specific to different schools within the same branch of Islam)
I myself used to be confused and stressed as a child on why we brush our teeth two times a day because “everything else is three!!”
Thank you for the explanation!
As a devout Pastafarian, I feel seen.
This had a chance to be funny, but they had to throw something in something about atheist that isn’t even remotely based in reality and not even remotely funny. It’s just a cheap shot for the sake of being a cheap shot. Pathetic…
Funny is subjective but damn, to be this offended when someone pokes fun at your belief system in a post where they poke fun at basically every belief system shows how fragile your belief is.
As a card-carrying, baby-eating atheist, I’m obliged to point out that atheism is a belief system in the same way as not playing golf is a sport.
It’s more a belief system the same way a person dislikes sports when asked what their favorite sport is. Still an opinion on which sports ate good, just “none of the above”.
It’s not like that at all.
Oh shit, you’ve convinced me. You’re right!
I wasn’t trying to convince you of anything.
Huh. I believe you, but it has literally never entered my mind to go out of my way to tell someone they’re wrong without any attempt to correct their wrongness. What a weird thing to do.
I’m obliged to point out that atheism is a belief system in the same way as not playing golf is a sport.
It’s more like a golf handicap or endorsed brand of club.
What’s your golf handicap?
I don’t play golf.
I’m quite competitive in not playing golf
What on earth makes you think that I’m offended? I just find the ‘joke’ stupid because it mixes in things that simply don’t belong. Wouldn’t it be hilarious to see a similar joke that talks about perch, bass, salmon, catfish, and logs? Would that make perfect sense? Especially if the logs were somehow treated like another fish?
You are obviously offended.
You may well be delusional, but I have absolutely no reason to be offended. That would be silly.
I’m sorry to tell you the entire post is composed of cheap shots. (Not counting the ones the atheist had in their system.)
The others play off things already generally associated with the religion in question. If they couldn’t come up with something remotely relevant and funny for atheist then they should have left it out. The reason the probably struggled with this is because all of the others are religions and atheism is not.
Atheism is totally a religion. You believe that there are no gods. If anything on that list is not a religion, it’s agnosticism 😉
You’re having fun, but a lot of atheists do seem treat it as a competing religion
Yeah, I was only half joking 😄
belief != religion though, religion has some other characteristics as well to fullfill like having rules, maybe some scripture, some basis on what to get the values from and atheism doesn’t do that.
However the post is quite funny and why is it that atheists on the internet are often way too easily butthurt…
why is it that atheists on the internet are often way too easily butthurt…
Because they’re not trained to take it in the butt like a 12yo altar boy.
No, an atheist just doesn’t believe in any gods. If sufficient evidence came along, then they’d change that stance. As such, atheism is not a statement that absolutely no gods exist.
Weak. I’m not an atheist because I don’t believe in gods, but because I wouldn’t worship gods even if they were objectively real. If the god was worthy of my worship, then they wouldn’t demand it in the first place. I’d rather build a moral philosophy out of making life better for others than the authority of the powerful
Also, this post is funny af
Atheism is a lack of belief in a god or gods, not an active disbelief in any. There are many agnostic atheists who aren’t convinced deities exist due to the lack of evidence, but won’t claim they don’t exist outright because it’s an unfalsifiable claim to make since nobody can prove or disprove the existence of any deity in a falsifiable and verifiable way. To make such a claim would be dishonest.
In a way, saying that atheism is a religion is like saying that not playing baseball is a sport.
Did you read my whole comment or just the first sentence?
In a way, saying that atheism is a religion is like saying that not playing baseball is a sport.
Rather, saying “playing abaseball (the opposite of baseball) is a sport”.
There’s a difference between not playing any sport and playing a sport that is specifically not baseball.
None of them are realistic. All of them are making fun. None of them are serious. The original authors aren’t singling you or anyone else out. You’re being overly sensitive.
Nice username :)
You must have failed Sesame Street… one of these things is not like the others. That thing is atheism since all of the others are religions and atheism is not. (I will actually correct myself… agnosticism also doesn’t stand alone as a religion, so two of these things are not like the others.)
The problem is that they are mixing things that may be adjacent such as apples and oranges are both fruits, but an orange is not an apple. It would make no sense if it was talking about different types of apples and they threw in clementines. Same problem…
You ok?
That thing is atheism since all of the others are religions and atheism is not.
I’m not saying atheism is a religion, but I think probably most of the bigger religions you might think of have some adherents who claim it not to be a religion. I’ve heard Christians say it’s “not a religion, it’s a relationship” (with God). I’ve heard Buddhists say “it’s not a religion, it’s a philosophy”. I doubt there’s broad consensus among satanists whether satanism is a religion or not. Plus, surely nobody would call pastafarianism a religion with a straight face. And Cthulhu cultism isn’t a religion in the real world at least. (Unless you count some of the satanists with a Lovecraftian slant… but I doubt that’s what the poster in the screenshot was referring to.)
I’ve heard Christians say it’s “not a religion, it’s a relationship”
I’ve heard Christians say a lot of stupid shit… that’s not an argument for or against anything.
Even in the context of made-up religions, pastafarianism and Cthulu cultism are sill religions. Atheism is not, in any way whatever, a religion. It’s like calling a lilly-pad a fish.
Found the atheist.
Were you looking? Do you get to mark your bingo card or some kind of list? Do you often find things funny when they mix in something that isn’t actually the same type of thing as the rest? Like, would you find it funny if there were neurologists, cardiologists, nephrologists , and ventriloquists in a similar ‘joke’?
Like, would you find it funny if there were neurologists, cardiologists, nephrologists , and ventriloquists in a similar ‘joke’?
… yes?
3 words in one paragraph out True LLM behavior
Derp
Wait, didn’t I just see you in another comment section complaining about a (very tame) dadjoke not being funny? The one with the Yoda meme.
Is this like your thing? Telling everyone that you don’t think OPs joke was funny?
(That said, I kind of actually agree with you in this case)
Yes, that was me… sometimes I say things are funny or cool, too.
I find the joke offensive because it’s not particularly clever and warps each belief system in a way that doesn’t capture the essence of the belief system. It’s neither an honest nor a satirical representation of each belief system, it’s just a bunch of people being bad drivers with some lazy rationales. It’s just not a good joke
The atheist portion is consistent with all the others though. Atheism is definitionally a belief system, agnosticism can sometimes be a lack of a belief system, but atheism is a positive assertion on unknowable aspects of existence
How can your assert a grad student named Kyle didn’t spark the big bang when playing with a physics sim in a higher information density layer of reality? It’s a matter of belief
it’s just a bunch of people being bad drivers with some lazy rationales. It’s just not a good joke
At least we agree on that much.
atheism is a positive assertion on unknowable aspects of existence
No, not at all. Atheism just means that a person doesn’t believe in any gods. I’m positive that I don’t believe in any of the current possible gods. I remain open to evidence of an undiscovered god. I’m not positive that there are no gods.
How can your assert a grad student named Kyle didn’t spark the big bang
I’m not the one making the assertion, so I have no obligation to prove or disprove it any way. If someone wants me to believe that is true, then they need to provide evidence. Otherwise, it’s just a fanciful claim indistinguishable from any child’s imaginary friend.
I remain open to evidence of an undiscovered god. I’m not positive that there are no gods.
That’s agnosticism.
I’m positive that I don’t believe in any of the current possible gods.
But you also positively assert all known God’s don’t exist? That’s an interesting belief system, but you’re making an incredible amount of assertions there. There’s no way you know every belief system out there, that’s just not humanly possible
So you believe that any potential deity is fundamentally unknowable by humans?
That’s agnosticism.
There is an element of agnosticism involved, but they are separate. Atheist simply means that one does not believe in any gods. Agnosticism/Gnosticism would be a statement about certainty any god(s) existing or not existing. One could be a theist and agnostic.
Without actual evidence, I don’t believe anyone go claims to be gnostic regardless of whether they are theist or atheist.
But you also positively assert all known God’s don’t exist?
I positively assert that I do not believe in any of the thousands of possible gods that have been proposed as none of them have compelling evidence.
I further assert that I’m not that different from the vast majority of theists (those who believe in one or more gods). The theist has some set of gods that they believe exist and that all of the other possibilities do not exist. I just take a step further and don’t believe their god(s) exist, either.
So you believe that any potential deity is fundamentally unknowable by humans?
No. I don’t try to make any kind of super-natural claims. I only state that I have seen no compelling evidence that any gods exist and therefore I do not believe in them. Could a god exist, including with unknown evidence, that hasn’t been discovered? Sure… science makes new discoveries all of the time. My expectation, even then, is that it will simply be something sufficiently advanced and/or obscure that we just don’t recognize it. I would remain very skeptical of any attempts to describe it as super-natural.
Agnosticism/Gnosticism would be a statement about certainty any god(s) existing or not existing. One could be a theist and agnostic.
Gnosticism is a collection of belief systems that asset the God known to mankind is not the true creator diety, but something else, whether an imposter, a deluded higher being, etc. But that’s a whole other thing
In my mind love and hate aren’t opposites, the opposite of both is disinterest. The opposite of belief isn’t rejection of belief, it’s indifference
From my perspective, you’ve just described a system of beliefs to me. You said you do not accept the belief systems you’ve learned of, but you do have beliefs about the nature of any potential deity
So do you understand why I would group your set of beliefs on divinity in the same category as other sets of beliefs on the subject?
So do you understand why I would group your set of beliefs on divinity in the same category as other sets of beliefs on the subject?
I understand what you are saying and I’m telling you that you are patently wrong. Atheist has a very simple meaning. The only thing it tells you is that the person does not believe in any gods. Are you aware that there are Buddhist atheists? The Buddhist part is essential to knowing what their belief system might be. In my case, if you were to ask of my belief system, I would tell you that it most closely aligns with secular humanism. Without that piece of information, the only thing you know about me is that I don’t believe in any gods. You might also find it interesting to know that I was the president of a church - as an ‘out’ atheist. Saying that atheism is a religion is like saying that bald is a hair color. They may often be proximal, but they are very distinct things.
Wait hold on…I was careful to not put any labels on you (I don’t like to be labeled, but people can label themselves however they want), I haven’t said anything about religion (which is a totally separate conversation) or anything about you outside this one specific topic, all I did was repeat back what you said to illustrate my point
My whole point is that atheism fits in the (bad) joke just as much as the other entries
