• TriflingToad@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        14·
        5 days ago

        it’s not exactly the same as a full understanding but my transmasc friends labido in the first year of T was much worse than my first year of E (so far atleast).

        The labido of a teenage boy is fucking INTENSE, all they do is think with their dick (well not in my friends case lol). However my emotion regulation is WAYYYY worse than his was, I am a blob of emotionally distraught tears.

        neither of us would get off HRT for the world though.

          • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
            2·
            4 days ago

            I did that on purpose
            (as an example of emotion regulation I wrote out a passive aggressive paragraph of why language changes over time and it’s not a crime to shorten 2 words, before realizing you were probably not being rude with it 😓🥲)

      • pyre@lemmy.world
        7·
        5 days ago

        yeah but now i have two people with reference points to both feminine and masculine hormonal makeup that agree with my assumption so I’m gonna believe them more…

        … not because they have unique perspectives but because they reaffirm my previously held beliefs

      • pyre@lemmy.world
        5·
        4 days ago

        i actually wasn’t talking about men vs women; i was talking about having a dick vs not, specifically because of having to deal with a boner during the day… but apparently some trans people who start taking T can get overwhelmed with how much it horns them up so i don’t know; maybe it’s anecdotally true even.

        other than that I’ve always believed it’s (at least mostly) social conditioning though.

        edit: i got too excited to clarify that i forgot to check your link before i responded. i gotta say it’s not really challenging the idea (that I wasn’t trying to suggest originally).

        first of all it says

        On average, men have higher sex drives, but about a third of women have a higher sex drive than the average male.

        so it’s already suggesting that it’s not a myth.

        second of all the way it phrases things seems to target people who don’t understand what averages are: it gives as an example on average men are taller but there are women who are taller than men. well duh… that’s how averages vs exceptions work. that doesn’t mean “neither is taller, it’s totally random” it still means men are taller on average.

        of course if the rates it gives are true, the exception being a third of women is quite significant.

        • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
          2·
          4 days ago

          It’s very much like height, where it’s correlated, but not restricted to people with lots of testosterone (more relevant than having a dick). And it really sucks being Trijntje Keever.

            • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
              2·
              4 days ago

              Dicks are normally more visible when aroused, but vaginas sometimes make it look like you’ve pissed yourself. Appearance aside, wet underwear is pretty uncomfortable and can lead to skin irritations. As to why the place that gets wet is the same place that grows coarse hair and slightly moves whenever you walk? Curse of Eve, I guess.

              It might just be that the grass is greener, but I’d prefer to tuck an erection into my waistband than deal with soaked underwear. Absolutely no envy about balls though, they seem very uncomfortable all around.

              • pyre@lemmy.world
                2·
                4 days ago

                oh no contest about preference; i already said elsewhere that I’d rather have a never ending erection forever rather than have one period.

        • dandelion (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          1·
          4 days ago

          There are a few clarifications I would like to make:

          Having an erection does not require the person to have sex, and is not the same as being horny or desiring sex.

          Having a penis does not guarantee you have erections (let alone involuntary erections, which is what you seem to be talking about). People with penises who are testosterone dominant do have involuntary erections, but even so, see my first point for why that’s not relevant.

          Your claim was about being horny being a bigger problem for people with penises, which is a fair assumption but has more to do with testosterone than the penis (like you’ve pointed out, trans men can be very horny without a “penis” - though it should be noted here that male and female genitalia are more similar than dissimilar and have the same structures of a phallus and glans, just in different configurations).

          so it’s already suggesting that it’s not a myth.

          The myth is the belief that men are horny while women are not, the reality is that it varies significantly by person. with significant overlap between the sexes. There is a difference on average, but it’s not as large or total as people commonly believe.

          And finally, as you have pointed out the social context will skew the data significantly with fewer women being comfortable with sex than men, fewer women having learned to masturbate than men, and fewer women willing to discuss or disclose their sexual feelings or behavior than men. These differences in how sex is treated socially means whatever biological differences there are is muddled, especially when what was measured was self-reporting on frequency of masturbation. It’s possible that men and women are far more similar than dissimilar than even the current evidence we have points to.

        • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
          1·
          4 days ago

          i was talking about having a dick vs not, specifically because of having to deal with a boner during the day…

          Actually this is really good place to share the knowledge I’m too embarrassed to share irl!!

          I’m trans (MTF) and it doesn’t really happen randomly the same way it did before hormones. The only time I get an erection is when I try to, and even then sometimes it’s difficult 🥲.

          You are essentially required* to masturbate 1 or 2 times a week or else the tissue will disintegrate due to not being used, ‘morning wood’ is what the body does naturally to stop this but on Estrogen it doesn’t happen. Some choose to apply testosterone gel to help in this, but it hasn’t been an issue for me.

          Also with decreased labido it’s really easy to forget about it and apparently hurts when you do it again which I’m kinda scared of tbh.

          *‘required’ is subjective, but it’s not really reversible and also a working penis is ideal for getting bottom surgery and most people want to have good chances for bottom surgery …also sex too lol

      • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        2·
        4 days ago

        The researchers propose to measure affect in terms of how easily you get aroused when faced with a sexual stimulus or situation. Likewise, behavior involves the frequency of sexual acts. And finally, cognition has to do with how often you think about sex.

        that’s actually really interesting that there’s different categories of sex drives

  • Uriel238 [all pronouns]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    12·
    4 days ago

    So about two years ago, my libido switched to working not at all. Its previous stage was working-half-assed for most of my adult life. Psych-meds were (and probably still are) a factor.

    I kinda hoped it’s going to be wheeee! I’m ace! GARLIC BREAD!

    Alas, no.

    But I now have two noteworthy phenomena:

    The first is I’ll look at something erotic. Usually porn. There’s lots of porn available, and my brain goes this is important. It means something to me and tries to decipher it like a 70s era acid rock album cover or a Salvador Dali painting. It’s not titillating… not quite. It’s like someone gave me a post-hypnotic suggestion years ago and I accidentally came across the triggering image, but that subconscious code is faint and sepia now and gives me strange impulses.

    The other phenomenon is when my brain goes HORNY and I’ll look at porn and it skips right over it. HORNY! It’s like the zombies deciding Homer Simpson doesn’t have enough brains to be interesting, there’s no sexy in these curves. Nor these. Nor these. Everything is all wrong! This is super frustrating, and sometimes I’m compelled to keep looking for the stimulus that has the right pins in the right order to turn the lock.

    I understand Leon now, Nothing is worse than having an itch you can never scratch!

    Sadly this was a factor in my separation with my wife. We still see each other once a week for dinner. It’s a zesty blend of complicated and tragic, the kind that happens while society collapses Titanic sinks.