Surprisingly a lot of people come to “childfree” community to promote having kids. Apparently they don’t understand that constantly trying to convince everyone to have kids is one of the problems.
A consequence of a popular post making it to people’s general feed. It’s reasonable that people might not even notice the theme of the community when posting.
I think broadly healthy for communities to occasionally get a dose of diverse perspectives from such events. We are otherwise too prone to get into circle jerks over our perspective being the one and only valid one.
It’s reasonable that people might not even notice the theme of the community when posting.
It is absolutely not. I’ve been on Lemmy 3 years and I’ve never even felt the need to comment on a post without checking what community it’s in and if it’s a community I want to engage with.
I’m glad you can speak for every single other user of Lemmy and dismiss the view point of everyone that isn’t like you.
Thank you. I’m glad I have the presence of mind to not barge into a (harmless) community that has nothing to do with me and inflict my opinions upon them.
No offense, but you sound like a complete tool. I hope the Thailand sexpat life is fulfilling for you and you never join the “Pattaya Flying Club”
I hope the Thailand sexpat life is fulfilling for you and you never join the “Pattaya Flying Club”
I am very amused that that’s what you think we get up to in our free time.
These comments are so weird for a place called “childfree”…
Ironically reinforcing why we need this community to begin with
No. Child free doesn’t mean child hater. In fact often, people who don’t have kids like kids better than people who do.
But every theater, restaurant, airplane, and retail establishment would be vastly improved if the shrieky little germ factories weren’t allowed in.
I miss when people just ignored childfree communities cause parents are fucking weird. They always want to shove their experiences with kids in everyone’s faces and act like anyone who dislikes kids or doesn’t want to be around them is weird.
It’s spelled “fuck”.
I think this is a good filter (among many) that can inform someone if they want kids. There are places I go and do say, “damn, I’d love for me and my partner to have a kid and bring them here.” If you don’t hope for that, or if you do but aren’t in a place to achieve that, by all means, don’t have kids. But if you do, I’d recommend speaking with your partner(s) at least. There have been times in my life I never wanted kids. There have been times I wanted kids, but was open to not. Now I want kids. The important thing is to be true to yourself every step of the way, and communicate with people you trust along the way.
All the way, even when I go to Ikea alone, I think “I should have brought my kid, he’d love this”
Right? And like if you don’t have that, that’s FINE. Some do, some don’t, and that should be OK either way. One thing I’m glad no one has tried with my story is saying that because I changed my mind, that others will, too; people can change their minds both ways, and people can be committed both ways. Just live true to yourself, handle your responsibilities, and it’ll be OK.
100%
If you don’t want kids, then just don’t have them. It’s all good.
Visiting Paris again but with a toddler this time, I grew to enjoy it more than I ever thought possible. Reliving the experience through her eyes was unexpectedly fun. There are other hobbies and interests where this emerges as well.
I actually got bored of solo traveling as I felt there was a point of diminishing returns. Having a family is a way to experience it all anew again.
Thank you for the anecdote, I guess? I don’t quite understand why you felt the need to share it in a childfree community in response to a thought process that is unique to childfree people though.
I’m glad your trip to Paris was fun and I don’t really know what to do with the knowledge that you’re bored of traveling solo. My feelings on the matter are diametrically opposed to yours, I don’t know what else to tell you.
This made it to the front page…
If I made an instance of “everyone should have10kids”, would you want the right to comment? I think you would.
Absolutely the fuck not. I’m happy to stay the hell away from you and your opinions
Breathe, man. It’s all good…
This post is in the main feed now, and that’s how social media works.
Idk hanging out at a Kids Playground without a kid would be weird
Man, one time I took my kid to a park playground and then another group just drops off like six kids and nopes out to a picnic shelter away away from the park so now I’m the only adult in a playground full of kids.
So was very uncomfortable, then one of the little girls gets scared and cries for help because she’s panicking and can’t calm down enough to get out of the spinny thing she is in, she thinks she is stuck.
So nervous helping out this stranger kid, thinking some one was going to assume something. Picked her up and put her on the ground without incident, but was annoyed I basically became defacto babysitter and afraid I would be seen as a creep.
Thanks for being a good human
story time. my wife and I go to the zoo and my wife likes taking pictures. she wants to take pictures of the carosel they have and im like. oof. imma sit on this bench and you knock yourself out. Anyway did not feel wierd until she to like the opposite side of the thing and I suddenly realize im a grown man sitting on a bench facing the carosel alone. so great when she got back around to me.
From cute couple to werido Creep in one easy step
If there’s no kids around who are you censoring yourself for?
I avoid using curse words to maintain their strong effect. If taboo words become overused we will have to find new, even tabooer words to fill the gap. If I swear irl, people know it’s serious, because I do my best to avoid it under normal circumstances.
You don’t have to swear just for swearings sake, it just voids the effect of swear words and we have to find new ones
Penis
He didn’t avoid it, he censored it. Those are different things.
What a weird instance
Validate my lifestyle and give me attention, please.
We want Lemmy to become more like Reddit, I guess?
There is a big difference between A kid vs. YOUR kid. It is very different when you are talking about a real person instead of some hypothetical one.
For example, this line of thought would be wildly strange if you were talking about any other family member. “There’s no place I’d ever want to go with a sister, if I had one; but she doesn’t exist and is just someone I’m imagining I’d definitely dislike.” Uhh sure ok.
We are adults lets use the words no censor. It’s FUCK!
FRICK
Growing up is the compromise, my kid is 23 now and is an amazing human that I’m glad to have in my life. The kid part is a pain at times but some things are worth investing in.
Thought maybe work well at an orphanage or adoption agency, otherwise yeah.
Never been to a museum? Learning stuff alongside a smart kid to whom most of it is new and wonderful really brings you back to great, absorbent state of mind.
I’m if sorry your parents set such a terrible example that very obvious questions like this baffle you.
Hell to the fuck no. I’m going to the museum to enjoy myself and learn about cool stuff for myself. Bringing a kid is absolutely not going to result in a “great and absorbent state of mind”, especially if I constantly have to worry about where said kid is and what they’re doing – I can just as well take an (adult) friend or partner to whom it is also new and wonderful if I want to share the experience with someone (and we can go someplace that’s not fucking McDonald’s after.)
I’m sorry that your state of mind is so terribly moribund that simply being in a cool place of learning doesn’t suffice for you to learn and absorb new things and that you have to rely on an external locus to delude yourself into believing you’re getting to that point.
I’m childfree too but you don’t have to be such a jerk. You’re like a 13 year old that read the god delusion for the first time
Don’t disparage someone for enjoying something you don’t. It’s about choice and allowing people to have the life they want to have.
Cut the sanctimonious attack on intelligence. I have a doctorate. I love going to museums alone. I have no desire to ever have kids. Ever.
But nothing makes me smile like being able to witness the purity of joy and awe as someone learning something new. Child or adult doesn’t matter, but children show it more cleanly and plainly IME. I like helping and I like educating. Does that make me moribound? Because I get a dopamine hit when I spread knowledge and understanding?
Plainly speaking, you and I are total and complete biological failures. Life’s only objective purpose is procreation - going back to self-replicating RNA molecules. The genes that perform best are the genes best at replicating themselves.
So before you go spouting off some slop about how someone has a “moribund” mind, maybe remember that we’re the ones that are defective. But that’s okay, because we are all more than our contribution to genetic diversity.
Act with more humility and kindness. Be confident in your own decisions, and maybe you’ll act a little less like a shithead better-than-you-know-it-all.
But nothing makes me smile like being able to witness the purity of joy and awe as someone learning something new. Child or adult doesn’t matter, but children show it more cleanly and plainly IME. I like helping and I like educating.
That is wonderful and I’m genuinely delighted it brings you joy. The world would be a far better place if there were more people like you in it.
Does that make me moribound? Because I get a dopamine hit when I spread knowledge and understanding?
No. It makes you moribund if you need another person there with you to enter a “great and absorbent state of mind”. For me the annoyance of having to watch over a kid far outweighs any potential joy I could derive out of educating them or watching them learn something new, which is why there is no place I would want to go or experience I would want to have that would be made better with the presence of a kid. It’s that simple.
You must only have known annoying kids. I feel bad for you.
This is so true, my daughter, fostered her since she was 11, is in a long term care facility trying to get over her trauma and become functional. She could be there for years. My wife and I went to the museum last Friday after I got off work, favorite place in the city and all things in it are free fridays and it’s open late.
While we were there there were many times I wish she was there. She has severe mental trauma and is quick to, “just give up”. She’s missed Holidays, birthdays, and potentially the death of both her grandmas (tecnically she is my wife’s cousin).
When you have a kid things change. You think more about what they would enjoy l vs what you would enjoy. It’s not really this would be more fun with or without children just, ai want to give my child this experience. I miss my daughter.
