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Compare XKCD.
I would have loved this in school.
I LOVE the “you are here”
Everything that isn’t green should be ‘definitely not’ and several green ones are questionable
The particular form the element is in also matters a lot.
Take helium, for example. Is it really possible to ‘lick’ a gas? I’d say it’s not. You could lick liquid helium, though … and you really shouldn’t, unless you enjoy severe frostbite on your tongue.
if i stick my tongue out i would probably consider that as licking air, so you would just have to be submerged in that gas for a long enough time to lick it
What? No. The Leidenfrost effect would apply. You could pour a few milliliters of liquid helium over your tongue and it would boil on contact. You just need to make sure to minimize total contact time.
You can totally lick Sodium! Its natures poprocks!
In theory, if you dry enough your tongue, you can lick sodium, i wouldn’t keep it on my tongue longer tha 0.5s tho
well, i wouldn’t keep it on my tongue at all tbf
Ok who gave the goat internet access?
I ate a banana and now I have summer teeth
It’s 100% accurate. But just in case, could you have the map on you when you go around licking things? The resultant news article will be way funnier that way.
Sure! I’ll keep that in mind for my next lickpacking tour across Europe.
Gonna have to vet the Blarney Stone before I lick it. Could be made out of anything.
Because everything exists in Europe :-D
not everything. Just Licktenstein.
Well done!
Na: bad. Cl: bad. NaCl: amazing!
Some of the purple ones have a time limit to lick them before you die that starts once you enter the room they are kept. You’ll still die after licking them, but you would at least have licked it if you’re quick.
So those are “yes, but hurry”?
jots down in notebook
Many can’t be “kept” on the time scale of licking. And for some, the confirmed number of atoms ever existing is too low for any sensation or measurable radiation exposure during their violent but tiny decay. But if the particle accelerator beam, the only place they ever existed, crossed your head… we unfortunately know what happens https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anatoli_Bugorski#Accident
Pshh. You can lick any of them once.
You really shouldn’t, though.
I can be, though, if you ask nicely…
Oganesson has a half-life of about 0.7 ms and is excruciatingly difficult to synthesize in a way that even lasts on the order of milliseconds. The beam it’s created in is sent to a semiconductor detector. You’d be stretching the definition of “lick” very heavily if you could even convolute a way to make it land on the human tongue.
Easy, just send the beam to their tongue instead of the duperwhatsit detector. Bam. Licked.
Bam. Licked.
My dog running straight at me after a solid 15 at the butthole buffet.
If you can get your tongue inside the machinery they use at Lawrence Livermore to create a split-second instance of some rare Earth actinide, you deserve to lick it.
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… How exactly would you lick hydrogen? Or helium for yhsy matter…
- Fill a balloon with the gas
- Stick your tongue in the balloon sphincter
- Wiggle your tongue
- Reconsider the decisions you’ve made that led your life to this point
New fetish unlocked, but still hidden behind balloon sphincter.
Tounguepunching the gas sphincter, oh joy
Just go slow and keep it wet. It might take some time to build up your tongue strength and loosen up the opening, but I believe in you. Go forth and achieve your dreams.
Thanks for believing in me :D
- Reconsider the decisions you’ve made that led your life to this point
OR
New kink unlocked
If that moment of introspection concludes with you being happy with your path and current situation, then who am I to judge. Carry on with your ballonilingus and be happy.
Carry on with your ballonilingus and be happy.
That’s gotta be a sentence no one has ever said before.
And, dare we hope, never again
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Licking calcium is fine?
I guess if you’re okay with the nasty burn…
Won’t kill you is this tables version of fine.
In that case, sodium and potassium should be fine too
The same people think sulfur is “probably okay”
Pure sulfur is unreactive with water, so I can’t imagine it doing meaningful harm with just one lick.
The periodic table is surprisingly lickable.
Coming from someone identifying as salt, that’s high praise! 😁
It’s really funny, yesterday I saw a dude walk around with a T-shirt with exactly this periodic table and thought it was hilarious and now I find this
Did you lick him?
You can lick everything, but some only one time
It’s about whether you die before you can reach it
You can lick radium for years!
Can you lick a gas? I would think it would need to be at least liquid, and once some of these are in a lickable state you probably wouldn’t want to go ahead and do it.
I’ve just licked some hydrogen
You dirty gasophile
I have nipples, Greg. Can you lick me?
Can I? Yes. Will I?.. How much you got?
Two nipples
I wouldn’t advise licking calciums:
The chemistry of calcium is that of a typical heavy alkaline earth metal. For example, calcium spontaneously reacts with water more quickly than magnesium but less quickly than strontium to produce calcium hydroxide and hydrogen gas. It also reacts with the oxygen and nitrogen in air to form a mixture of calcium oxide and calcium nitride.[14] When finely divided, it spontaneously burns in air to produce the nitride. Bulk calcium is less reactive: it quickly forms a hydration coating in moist air, but below 30% relative humidity it may be stored indefinitely at room temperature.[15]
Because calcium reacts exothermically with water and acids, calcium metal coming into contact with bodily moisture results in severe corrosive irritation.[59] When swallowed, calcium metal has the same effect on the mouth, oesophagus, and stomach, and can be fatal.[46] However, long-term exposure is not known to have distinct adverse effects.[59]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calcium
Because of vigorous reaction of quicklime with water, quicklime causes severe irritation when inhaled or placed in contact with moist skin or eyes.
So… I should lick it fast and then hide from the effects under a table?
Lick it then chug some vinegar
