Columbus was a weird Christian. I don’t know what he identified as specifically, but he was part of a large group of wealthy folks who thought the world would end soon and that would entail another, final, crusade to retake the holy land. And that’s what this exposition was! It was Columbus trying to find a profitable trade route to India so he could raise money to Crusade Palestine again!
Even worse, he was anti-science. By 1492 it was pretty uncontroversial amongst educated and ruling people that the earth was round, but Chris thought “Big Math” was LYING TO US ABOUT THE SIZE. And as far as I can remember, his source is he made it the fuck up.
So in short, Columbus was a 1492 equivalent of an Evangelical Zionist. Incredibly devout christian. So it would be so fucking funny if he went to hell.
Columbus being eternally tortured “WHY GOD!? I DID IT ALL FOR YOU!!!”
God “Yeah dude, did you miss the whole Jesus guy? He kinda ended the need for blood sacrifices. Why would I want war in my name?”
he was part of a large group of wealthy folks who thought the world would end soon and that would entail another, final, crusade to retake the holy land.
dude i come here to get away from reality and modern politics.
christianity has been expecting and demanding that the world is going to end soon for almost 2000 years now. I think there’s something in the bible about failed prophecies.
Ths Spanish and Portugese were brutal colonists. While Protestant colonial powers would prefer to kill you via bureaucracy, Catholic ones wouldn’t hesitate to proceed straight to rape, murder, torture etc.
Perhaps by being the incumbent branch of Christianity, and having state support via the Papacy and its Terra Nullius (ie. land occupied by non-Christians doesn’t belong to anyone) doctine, they felt moral accountability was less of a concern. That or they felt like they were going to heaven regardless of their actions via the Pope’s blessing.
Vasco Da Gama, the Columbus of the East, is known for the following after arriving in Kerala India:
Setting a civilian boat returning from Mecca on fire and refusing even to take payment to end the suffering. It took several days for the boat to sink and Portugese accounts detail the wails of women and children as several hundred died slowly. It’s said that women held up their babies above the flames begging for mercy. The few children that did survive were kidnapped and forcibly converted to Christianity.
When the local ruler (Zamorin) refused to expel every Muslim from Calicut (who de Gama perceived to be his competition for trade), he kidnapped a group of fishermen, had their bodies cut to pieces, and sent it to the Zamorin with a note saying to make a stew out of it.
When trade negotiations failed, he pioneered European colonial “gunboat diplomacy” by pointing his naval fleet at the unfortified city of Calicut, opening fire on civilians.
These two are the OGs of European colonialism. Both are venerated to this day.
While Protestant colonial powers would prefer to kill you via bureaucracy, Catholic ones wouldn’t hesitate to proceed straight to rape, murder, torture etc.
Which powers? The Brits, French, and Dutch? They were absolutely vile. Europeans were a very hateful boil on earth back then.
You’re absolutely right but they were more likely to say “ok here’s the rulebook we wrote for you” (however unreasonable) “oh, you broke a rule? You deserve what’s about to happen to you” (which is also probably unreasonable). This applies especially to the British. The Spanish and Portugese would just go straight to massacre.
This isn’t in any way meant to white wash their actions, just to bring light to the efforts they made to legitimize their cruelty, which was largely effective at the time. Many nations are still working hard to rid themselves of the colonial narratives and perceptions built off the outcomes of this bureaucracy of exploitation.
It’s much easier to say the Goan inquisition is bad/immoral but there are still people that argue today that British engineered famines were not Britain’s fault because points to the rulebook/bureaucracy. It’s an incredibly powerful tool for shifting accountability and victim blaming.
He left out one part, which is that the Knights of Columbus weren’t just looking for a Catholic role model. They wanted an Italian at the center of the American myth to combat anti-Italian racism.
For those who like a light read on Columbus, The Oatmeal got you covered
Jesus wept, 9 to 10 year old sex slaves…
I wish he could die 10 times.
Oh, as a nonbeliever I really hope there’s a hell where he is suffering for eternity. Death is too kind.
Columbus was a weird Christian. I don’t know what he identified as specifically, but he was part of a large group of wealthy folks who thought the world would end soon and that would entail another, final, crusade to retake the holy land. And that’s what this exposition was! It was Columbus trying to find a profitable trade route to India so he could raise money to Crusade Palestine again!
Even worse, he was anti-science. By 1492 it was pretty uncontroversial amongst educated and ruling people that the earth was round, but Chris thought “Big Math” was LYING TO US ABOUT THE SIZE. And as far as I can remember, his source is he made it the fuck up.
So in short, Columbus was a 1492 equivalent of an Evangelical Zionist. Incredibly devout christian. So it would be so fucking funny if he went to hell.
Columbus being eternally tortured “WHY GOD!? I DID IT ALL FOR YOU!!!”
God “Yeah dude, did you miss the whole Jesus guy? He kinda ended the need for blood sacrifices. Why would I want war in my name?”
dude i come here to get away from reality and modern politics.
christianity has been expecting and demanding that the world is going to end soon for almost 2000 years now. I think there’s something in the bible about failed prophecies.
Ths Spanish and Portugese were brutal colonists. While Protestant colonial powers would prefer to kill you via bureaucracy, Catholic ones wouldn’t hesitate to proceed straight to rape, murder, torture etc.
Perhaps by being the incumbent branch of Christianity, and having state support via the Papacy and its Terra Nullius (ie. land occupied by non-Christians doesn’t belong to anyone) doctine, they felt moral accountability was less of a concern. That or they felt like they were going to heaven regardless of their actions via the Pope’s blessing.
Vasco Da Gama, the Columbus of the East, is known for the following after arriving in Kerala India:
Setting a civilian boat returning from Mecca on fire and refusing even to take payment to end the suffering. It took several days for the boat to sink and Portugese accounts detail the wails of women and children as several hundred died slowly. It’s said that women held up their babies above the flames begging for mercy. The few children that did survive were kidnapped and forcibly converted to Christianity.
When the local ruler (Zamorin) refused to expel every Muslim from Calicut (who de Gama perceived to be his competition for trade), he kidnapped a group of fishermen, had their bodies cut to pieces, and sent it to the Zamorin with a note saying to make a stew out of it.
When trade negotiations failed, he pioneered European colonial “gunboat diplomacy” by pointing his naval fleet at the unfortified city of Calicut, opening fire on civilians.
These two are the OGs of European colonialism. Both are venerated to this day.
Which powers? The Brits, French, and Dutch? They were absolutely vile. Europeans were a very hateful boil on earth back then.
You’re absolutely right but they were more likely to say “ok here’s the rulebook we wrote for you” (however unreasonable) “oh, you broke a rule? You deserve what’s about to happen to you” (which is also probably unreasonable). This applies especially to the British. The Spanish and Portugese would just go straight to massacre.
This isn’t in any way meant to white wash their actions, just to bring light to the efforts they made to legitimize their cruelty, which was largely effective at the time. Many nations are still working hard to rid themselves of the colonial narratives and perceptions built off the outcomes of this bureaucracy of exploitation.
It’s much easier to say the Goan inquisition is bad/immoral but there are still people that argue today that British engineered famines were not Britain’s fault because points to the rulebook/bureaucracy. It’s an incredibly powerful tool for shifting accountability and victim blaming.
He left out one part, which is that the Knights of Columbus weren’t just looking for a Catholic role model. They wanted an Italian at the center of the American myth to combat anti-Italian racism.