According to Plato we can just keep making them up. So I’m down!

My addition is Uupta goddess of warm fires and comforting foods. Put her wherever but I feel she’s close to the sun somehow.

Man I wish the original texts still existed

Columbus was a weird Christian. I don’t know what he identified as specifically, but he was part of a large group of wealthy folks who thought the world would end soon and that would entail another, final, crusade to retake the holy land. And that’s what this exposition was! It was Columbus trying to find a profitable trade route to India so he could raise money to Crusade Palestine again!

Even worse, he was anti-science. By 1492 it was pretty uncontroversial amongst educated and ruling people that the earth was round, but Chris thought “Big Math” was LYING TO US ABOUT THE SIZE. And as far as I can remember, his source is he made it the fuck up.

So in short, Columbus was a 1492 equivalent of an Evangelical Zionist. Incredibly devout christian. So it would be so fucking funny if he went to hell.

Columbus being eternally tortured “WHY GOD!? I DID IT ALL FOR YOU!!!”

God “Yeah dude, did you miss the whole Jesus guy? He kinda ended the need for blood sacrifices. Why would I want war in my name?”

Its funny to me when a joke is literally translated so we miss the pun.

And when the pun is explained and then the joke is retold in the native language, I often still don’t thinknits funny.

Terrible that comedy is often hard to translate.

It was funny and got twice as funny when I checked the date

I meant “bonking” but I’m keeping honking as an exercise for the reader

20/20

You mean?

I dunno if that’s a bit, but he did in fact, die on a Monday

https://www.timeanddate.com/date/weekday.html?year=1881&month=9&day=19

Marcus Aurelius watching his son run around in a Hercules costume honking small animals to death

“That’s the future emperor of Rome”

Commodus killed the empire, CMV

“ERM actually their strategy was perfect they-”

Cites a YouTube video that cites a historian who made it the fuck up

Source: It felt right to me and I rolled with it

I mean what was the Forum but an Image board made of stone

Currently following a seminar on Middle Platonist’s and thus I’m rereading some Plato and reading new Plato.

I forgot how much he used Socrates as his Fact-kin

I mean… Usually the Forestry and Animal control folks have yo put down deer who will approach people anyways.

So…

Turns out I am

1. quite allergic to Bad Dragon Cum Lube

2. disgusting and I get it all over me and not just my hands since hand and dick washing didn’t save me

I always wondered how these guys make it through life.

I understand its a position of authority and an air of confidence is necessary at all times, but gods damned dude

“You had a phone in your right hand”

shows a complete lack of a right hand

“…You sure you don’t have a hand?”

Is the lesson not

“Don’t be mean to god’s prophets or he’ll send a bear to maul you”

Because that’s pretty wrathful. Quite “you should fear me” messaging, ya know? Not really the cosmic love Jesus is trying to convince us of.

Don’t you see how patriotic and serious they are? They did the very patriotic and very serious walk and everything!

“I met a guy who says he might have been there as either a cook or a soldier, he can’t remember. He says there’s between 10,000 and 100,000 soldiers and also gave me the generals speech verbatum.” -Greek Historian