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Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 2 months ago

"Is that ham processed"

lemmy.dbzer0.com

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"Is that ham processed"

lemmy.dbzer0.com

Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com to Funny@sh.itjust.works · 2 months ago
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  • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    Take a slice of that cosmic horror with a glop of some emulsified mass of oils not found in nature, also known as Margarine, and a slice of the semi-solid mass of oils not found in nature known as government american “cheese”, shoved into a piece of cuban bread (greased with margarine of course) and press toasted until crisp, and you’ve got my weekday breakfast for most of my childhood.

    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      You poor soul.

      We occasionally had American cheese, but we had cheddar way more often. We had a lot of margarine growing up because it was cheap, but by my teenage years we could afford butter, which is a massive upgrade.

      • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net
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        2 months ago

        “We had a lot of margarine growing up because it was cheap, but by my teenage years we could afford butter, which is a massive upgrade.”

        My experience was similar. Weirdly, it makes me sort of grateful for growing up in poverty, because there’s so many things I got to try as an adult that were huge upgrades, like you describe with butter. The biggest example I can think of is actual parmesan cheese — it blew my mind when I first tried it.

        • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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          2 months ago

          Same. We weren’t poor though, my parents were just super frugal, so we lived like we were poor while my dad made a middle class salary.

          And I’m grateful for that because it helped me learn the value of delayed gratification and enjoying what I have.

  • RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    “Unholy meat obelisk” has been stuck in the funnybone section of my brain for years.

  • Limonene@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Or maybe God likes it. Maybe God is thinking, “I wish I had thought to make something so horrific. This is art in its terribleness.”

    • jollyrogue@lemmy.ml
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      2 months ago

      This is why god made humans. He gave us free will as an experiment in chaos. We are the millions of monkeys typing on typewriters.

      • errer@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        God also loves torture and punishment, his favorite things in fact. I don’t see how God wouldn’t be 100% on board with this meat horror.

  • Triumph@fedia.io
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    2 months ago

    I do love me some rectangle ham.

    • BeeegScaaawyCripple@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I dunno. Triangles taste better than rectangles. They did science on it and everything. Get me triangle ham

  • Harbinger01173430@lemmy.worldBanned
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    2 months ago

    Tô be honest, after reading the stuff about the tower of babel, the fact that Dog backwards was scared of a bunch of neolithic savages erecting a ziggurat makes me realize that the sky daddy is not as powerful as the church wants us to believe.

    • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      And the lord was with Judah, and they drove out the people of the mountain, but could not drive out the people of the valley, for they had chariots of iron.

      • Harbinger01173430@lemmy.worldBanned
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        2 months ago

        And now our iron chariots can spew fire and brimstone. One of the favorite attacks of skybdaddy

        • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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          2 months ago

          I just put a new coolant temp sensor in my iron chariot.

          • P00ptart@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Now put a supercharger and a mk19 in it.

    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      Why so obsessed with backwards dogs?

      • Harbinger01173430@lemmy.worldBanned
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        2 months ago

        God = dog backwards

        • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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          2 months ago

          Yes, and I was teasing you for it.

  • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world
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    2 months ago

    Have you ever fucked a processed ham?

    Highly recommended.

  • BeeegScaaawyCripple@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Oh I know how I feel about it

  • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net
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    2 months ago

    I tend to buy the posher ham, and I always find it funny how some people believe that this fancier stuff is somehow exempt from this kind of processing. It obviously is less processed (I find that cheap ham is bad for making panini because it releases too much water), but it’s still an extremely processed product

  • QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    Processed? My ham has to be steamed!

  • Diplomjodler@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    By what definition is that ham?

  • A_norny_mousse@feddit.org
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    2 months ago

    deleted by creator

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