I’d buy a book that sucked dick. Not even to use it, it’d be an absolute marvel, the centerpiece to my collection. I’d tell my family to gather ‘round so I could show them my incredible dick sucking book. They’d applaud and cheer, and I’d hand out tissues so they could dry their cheeks. We’d venerate it, spread its splendor far and wide. Those pages would become a guiding light for all of humanity in the dark days ahead.

Unfortunately, his literature was just bland and written with the air of authority of a COD lobby with a woman in it. Not a blowjob in book form, aside from the stink. Not even close