It helps to acknowledge their issue first, maybe commiserate, and only share something directly related. Then you need to immediately hand the conversation back to them, and listen some more.
Don’t say, “Oh, that reminds me of something…” and then talk about seeing a dog on your most recent three-week summer vacation to France.
Yeah, it can be tough to balance it. Sometimes, especially if it’s a loved one, just listening and letting them vent and then offering if there’s anything you can do to help/support them is all they want. Even if you have something that’s directly relevant, it may not be the right time to share. There isn’t really a silver bullet guideline to these types of things since it can be very context dependent.
Thank you for saying this. I know a lot of people have a hard time with it, but once you establish trust and connection, you can then share your experiences that are similar with most people. There’s some who are very little sense of self security that hearing this will break that trust.
A real AuDHD trait.
Gotta tell the whole story, a “Yeah, I know that feel” just doesn’t work in our heads. You gotta force yourself to say the simple thing and not say the whole story.
I think I get it, but I need an example from you, or anyone ?
It’s a trap!
i doubt that.
Not exactly, but close enough (recounting of some snuff horror shit)
oh. Okay, yeah, i guess you do.
I have a real hard time with this. Because I usually can’t think of much else to say…
Always share and let them decide. If you’re genuine, and care, show it. Your intentions may not always land, but it still creates positive value. To love or hate is to care. Indifference is the opposite of both love and hate. To make no comment is therefore always the worst. If you feel strange about what you posted, that is an opportunity for personal growth. Caring matters most. So post it!
So fucking relatable
It depends on how you phrase your thoughts. Also, sometimes you get too carried away and talk excessively and steal the spotlight from the person. It is important to have self-awareness to realise you’re talking too much and refocus the attention back to the person who need support.
Bingo. Keep it short, very short.
I feel seen 🥹
This is me all the time. I dont know what to add to the conversation so I try to relate and then feel like this afterwards
I remember telling my supervisor about people commenting on my skinny legs because she was telling me about being short. I was trying to relate to her but I stopped the story there and never told her the rest. I was supposed to add that I’m old now, dont give a fuck what people think and those people are the ones with the problem. I think it came off as me too and I’m 1upping you.
I think sharing your own experience to show someone why you empathize with them is okay, as long as the center of attention doesn’t shift to yourself
Yeah i love how people are saying their relatives got into the US the right way, meanwhile the president having ICE raid immigration courts.
It’s all about framing and timing ime
