Guy who is me who is single: I’d be fine if we could just get some third places that aren’t focused on drinking where it is appropriate to ask women on a date.
Or if I started drinking more again I guess, but having quit for a while to cut back I don’t want to get back to where I was, I’m doing good.
I keep hearing people say this. Where are you that you don’t have parks? Tennis courts or swimming pools or volleyball beaches? There’s a spot near my house, just off a popular running trail, that hosted a “Singles Night” and it was swarming with eligible 20-somethings. There’s an outdoor theater in downtown that does free-to-the-public shows every month and a dozen other concert halls and sporting arenas that will happily sell you nosebleed seats for cheap. Nevermind the dating 101 spots - movie theaters, dance clubs, and bowling alleys.
“No more third spaces” has become this suffocating meme that cropped up in the wake of COVID. It’s like some time after 2021 everyone just forgot how to take a walk near a large body of water and talk to one another for an hour or three.
100% this. But also, you can make your own third space by inviting friends over and asking them to bring friends. I met most of my serious girlfriends at various house parties. Friends of friends are somewhat pre-vetted.
Well to do that all my friends would have to un-OD on heroin lol, the opioid epidemic did a real number on my city. I never did it myself, but for me to invite them over I’d need a shovel or a Ouija Board, and idk who they’d bring but I’m not sure I wanna find out!
“Damn Steve, when did you become friends with Moloch and Baal? And why’d you bring Ea-Nasir?!”
My only living in town friend is moving in about a year, too. And if he had anyone he could set me up with I’d know lol, known him for 15yr.
Yeesh. Sounds like you need a new set of friends or a new town. I wonder how much of the loneliness is down to loads of people living in really sparse areas.
Yeah well y’know, I work, then I’m too tired to go out, can’t afford bars anymore and if I could I’m still too old for that shit.
I do go out to some naturey places when the weather permits (of course it’s been hotter than the sun until like this week), but it’s not like a naturey meet up I just smoke weed and read a book next to the creek, and look at frogs and shit.
Furthermore, I don’t know how these people who say “go to X or Y” even find out that X or Y is happening locally, and where/when. Newspapers? Those still around?
Local newspapers are still a thing, so are bulletin boards at city hall or whatever cultural center you have. (I’ve seen event listings at bars, libraries, near a fountain, wherever stuff gets hosted)
Guy who is me who is single: I’d be fine if we could just get some third places that aren’t focused on drinking where it is appropriate to ask women on a date.
Or if I started drinking more again I guess, but having quit for a while to cut back I don’t want to get back to where I was, I’m doing good.
Additional third spaces definitely required.
I keep hearing people say this. Where are you that you don’t have parks? Tennis courts or swimming pools or volleyball beaches? There’s a spot near my house, just off a popular running trail, that hosted a “Singles Night” and it was swarming with eligible 20-somethings. There’s an outdoor theater in downtown that does free-to-the-public shows every month and a dozen other concert halls and sporting arenas that will happily sell you nosebleed seats for cheap. Nevermind the dating 101 spots - movie theaters, dance clubs, and bowling alleys.
“No more third spaces” has become this suffocating meme that cropped up in the wake of COVID. It’s like some time after 2021 everyone just forgot how to take a walk near a large body of water and talk to one another for an hour or three.
They’re talking about places to approach/get to know strangers
Go dancing. Guaranteed to get to know strangers very quickly.
Also, literally any rec league sports club.
Last time I met up with friends in a park, we were interrupted by the cops because you apparently have to pay the city to use the picnic table now.
Probably subsequent to a secondary location.
I believe second place is supposed to be where you work.
Perhaps so, but in my case I was referring to this John Mulaney sketch.
edit: As observed below, I messed up the link formatting. Fixed now.
You missed the closing parenthesis.
So I did. Corrected, thank you.
100% this. But also, you can make your own third space by inviting friends over and asking them to bring friends. I met most of my serious girlfriends at various house parties. Friends of friends are somewhat pre-vetted.
You have made one major assumption here which I feel cannot be overlooked.
Gotta make friends before dating. Having no friends is a big red flag.
I do get a bit tired of
“There are no third spaces! I can’t meet anyone! Nobody will love me!”
“Have you tried leaving the house?”
“That’s literally impossible.”
Well to do that all my friends would have to un-OD on heroin lol, the opioid epidemic did a real number on my city. I never did it myself, but for me to invite them over I’d need a shovel or a Ouija Board, and idk who they’d bring but I’m not sure I wanna find out!
“Damn Steve, when did you become friends with Moloch and Baal? And why’d you bring Ea-Nasir?!”
My only living in town friend is moving in about a year, too. And if he had anyone he could set me up with I’d know lol, known him for 15yr.
Yeesh. Sounds like you need a new set of friends or a new town. I wonder how much of the loneliness is down to loads of people living in really sparse areas.
Yeah well y’know, I work, then I’m too tired to go out, can’t afford bars anymore and if I could I’m still too old for that shit.
I do go out to some naturey places when the weather permits (of course it’s been hotter than the sun until like this week), but it’s not like a naturey meet up I just smoke weed and read a book next to the creek, and look at frogs and shit.
Furthermore, I don’t know how these people who say “go to X or Y” even find out that X or Y is happening locally, and where/when. Newspapers? Those still around?
Local newspapers are still a thing, so are bulletin boards at city hall or whatever cultural center you have. (I’ve seen event listings at bars, libraries, near a fountain, wherever stuff gets hosted)
Word I’ll look around, thanks. I assumed newspapers was a joke I was making haha, I thought those were dead for that kind of thing by now.