I’ve seen Amish:
Burn chemicals and paints in a pile behind their shop
Have dumpsters full of plastic “sawdust” from a shop that makes plastic furniture
Rebrand cheap chinese electronics and batteries to sell in their communities (MillerTech)
Zip around on a one wheel
Ride electric scooters
Log out relatively pristine forest to make more farms
Log land that isn’t theirs, without permission, for weeks before being discovered and confronted.
Vote down school levies repeatedly until the local schools shut down
Open a retail store in a mall
These days the amish button isn’t nearly as great as you might think…still funny to think about how everyone would react though
100% for real. On top of the fact that the 4th panel would read:
POOF NO MORE HUMAN RIGHTS NO MORE REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH NO MORE FREEDOM OF/FROM RELIGION
Agreed, humans are terrible, no matter our political or technological beliefs.
No more global warming, but a lot more sexual assault.
And deaths from tooth aches, small cuts, the flu…
But at least we’d be “living in an Amish paradise”
No more global warming, and i get to die? what’s the catch?
You did a horrible painful death over 5 years.
Nah sorry i think i’ll just let the world burn then
And also, continued global warming.
Seriously, why does anyone think regressive religious principles would do anything but continue the pillaging of natural resources? Amish are just cosplayers riding on the successes of an industrial civilization, most of them are capitalists who use technology to create crafts to sell to midwest white middle-class folk as their primary means of sustenance.
Amish attitudes towards technology are so contradictory and flimsy they make fantasy genres like Warhammer 40k look sensible.
idk if joining an oppressive religious cult where women have less rights than men do is the answer to global warming.
It might not be the answer, but it certainly is one, if everyone does it.
fair enough
Also it’s not a way of life that scales well to 8 billion people. Wood fires produce way more exhaust at the cost of many trees, while electric heat can be powered by the sun or a flowing river.
Livestock produce tons of CO2, and farming takes a lot of land. We can’t all be Amish, and it certainly wouldn’t solve climate change.
We could be vegetarian Amish. Vegetariamish.
At 4:30 in the morning I’m milkin’ cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I’ve been milkin’ and plowin’ so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone!
We been spending most our lives
Livin’ in an Amish paradise! Ooh Oh Ooooh!
I churned butter once or twice
Livin’ in an Amish paradise! Ooh Oh Ooooh!Hitchin’ up the buggy,
Churnin’ lots of butter,
Raised a barn on Monday,
Soon I’ll raise another!
Think you’re really righteous?
Think you’re pure of heart?
Well I know I’m a million times as humble as thou art!I’m the pious’t guy the little amish wanna be,
Like on my knees day and night,
Scorin’ points for the afterlife!So don’t be vain! And don’t be whiney!
Or else I might have to get medieval on your hiney!Close, but how could you leave out “Amlettes”?
Yeah, I think it’s “more humble”, too.
That one was right (“as humble”).
(Although I still had to look it up even though I just saw him perform it live on Friday)
That would have been an awesome show!
It was!
He’s an amazing performer. Roughly as many costume changes as songs, including mid-medley
Um, akshually, there would still be lots of burning things for heat and livestock. Livestock are the majority of all mammals on earth, outnumbering humans by a lot, only 6% of mammals are wild animals. In addition, lack of preserved food would lead to higher consumption.
BUT it being so unsustainable and full of disease would mean it would rapidly decrease populations, which would decrease ecological impact after a couple of generations, so it’s a sound strategy longterm.
Humans would rapidly organize right back into cities and make up whatever rules or interpretations of Amish law/religion that allowed them to. People gonna be people and ignore or twist religion to do whatever they want.
Humans would rapidly organize right back into cities
The Amish already live in townships. Congregations of humans are generally better for the environment than far-flung rural enclaves with low-efficiency infrastructure.
People seem to forget how much ecological destruction occurred at or prior to an Amish standard of living. Case in point, the deforestation of Europe
the bulk of which was completed before the 16th century.
“Primitive” does not mean “ecologically sustainable”. Quite a bit of our animal husbandry, agricultural, and pre-industrial economic activity were horrifyingly bad. We just weren’t operating at the scale of eight billion humans while we were living like that.
Yep. Coal and wood as the main energy sources are absolutely awful. Global warming would be gone because people would be dead from the pollution. There’s a reason that there were tons of maids cleaning old mansions constantly.
“Behold, the Amishinator!”
EDIT: Downvoted by a carrier pigeon sent by the Amish
Egad!
Most interesting parts of Handmaid’s Tale “Gilead” are when they’re boasting about reductions in pollution and greenhouse gas emissions their eco-christo-fascism has produced!
One of the big questions I have about our current Holocene extinction is at what point humans constrain their own polluting capacity based on their contracting biome.
Like, imagine a country like Germany or Japan or Russia or the US having a bad enough agricultural cycle that they experience a massive food shortage (or even a famine) on the scale experienced by Bangladesh or China in the 1950s (or Gaza in the modern day). What does that do to our carbon emissions?
We already saw the impact of COVID on air traffic and the sudden dramatic plunge in regional temperatures that came from not flying planes for a few weeks.
The Amish are the biggest users of private jets. Don’t look that up.
Are you referring to this?
Don’t look up… Why?
Because they were joking
It won’t take the CO2 out of the air, and as they produce just enough food for their own use, a few billion people will starve. Never mind.
Remember if you click that no more porn…
We’ve gone too far. We can’t stop this, we can only stop making it worse and learn to adapt to a changing world climate. The natural global processes of the planet have been altered and they are in the process and chaos of shifting into new normals. How long will it take to stabilize? No one knows. This kinda thing has happened to the planet before, but it happens to be quite catastrophic to the life living on it when it does. The jet stream is collapsing and major ocean currents are shifting. We have absolutely no control over these things and it’s already started. Everything on the planet is connected to these natural processes. It’s why things were the way they were, climate wise. Not anymore!
has anybody seen breaking amish? that show is amazing
We need a button like this but it clearly and in common language states the levels of technology and quality of life we can expect.
Humanity globally votes on a spectrum of these agreements until we find a suitable level.
My pitch is; we maintain enough electronic production to keep us all online at a basic desktop computer.
We get one new phone each decade, and one replacement phone should it break.
Other than that, what do we really need? Electricity and farming, a mild amount of houses to be constructed.
We should minimize R&D to things that lower power costs or energy usage/efficiency.
But we don’t need a space program. We don’t need excessive military spending. We don’t need Formula One races, or joy rides in helicopters. We don’t really need tourism. We only need a limited amount of mining and manufacturing. We don’t need plastic toys.
We need a global shift in culture, lifestyle and cooperation… We need to be the techno-amish-collective.
Good tourism is how you avoid wars. No cruises, yes local, trained guides. It’s harder to hate what you know.
Good racing got us the TGV. Formula One is a testbed for hybrid vehicles and efficiency. I don’t know enough to say NASCAR brings no benefits at all, but pretty close to useless.
The current race for resources on the Moon is awful, but unmanned space exploration has helped us learn a lot about our own planet, including the mechanisms of climate change.
What makes you think this is about wars …the comic ends with “no more climate change”… Not “no more wars”.
But also you’re spouting Neo-Liberal propaganda. Italy no doubt hosted international races before being fought against in WW2, and Climate Change is obviously going to have more resource wars than before.
But why does no one here understand my pitch is CLEARLY UTOPIAN. It proposes global solidarity on climate change. Which is obviously a UTOPIAN pitch about climate change.
CLIMATE CHANGE.
Dude… Take a chill pill, look at the sky, and then re-read my comment under a non confrontational light.
No, it’s my utopic idea. I say we don’t need a space program in it…
What part of downsizing our reliance on technology leads everyone to comment and say we need a space program. Why you all so illiterate?
Clearly if I’m talking about downsizing to a scaled back version of society I’m NOT on team rocket.
All you confrontational assholes aren’t going to get me to choose rockets over halting climate change.
I don’t think that vote is going to come out like you’re imagining. Most people either don’t get it at all, or are just too egoistic.
