The context makes it worse, but I’m just trying to gauge how fucked up normal people would find this, because being raised by this kind of person messed with my calibration.

  • nandeEbisu@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    It’s not out of the realm of possibility that it’s normal for your family, but for most families that wouldn’t be normal.

    If you’re family is open about being sex positive, if talking with your parents about masturbating wasn’t weird as a teenager, then I don’t think it’s that weird of a college send off gift.

  • It’s entirely possible for a mother & son to have a loving, honest, and very Open relationship. They can discuss anything and be supportive.

    Giving that kind of gift could fit right in with the dynamic. Or, a family could enjoy giving “gag gifts” and it could be one of those.

    It does not have to be a weird or bizarre gift.

    • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      I fall into the latter category. At one point while I was growing up my dad gave my recently-divorced aunt a glow-in-the-dark vibrator for Christmas, and everyone thought it was hilarious. My sister and I had to pretend we didn’t understand what it was. Grandma I think maybe actually didn’t know what it was.

      I definitely also have known people who would be mortified to even hear that story, much less have it happen to them. It really does just depend on the dynamic.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    8 days ago

    Ignoring context, it would be unusual, but not inherently worrying. There’s plenty of mothers that help guide their daughters to an age appropriate sex toy, and some that will do the same for their sons. Rarer, there are fathers that will do so, but men have to worry more about external opinions about such. A mothers buys a dildo for their kid, the default assumption is that it’s weird, but not bad. A father does it, and the default assumption is that he’s over the line.

    That being said parents should be the default source is advice about such things, because a bunch of young idiots (as opposed to old idiots) trying to advise each other about things they don’t have much experience with is a recipe for hospital visits.

    In terms of general purpose guidance, and funding/ordering sex toys, there’s nothing wrong with a parent helping their kids in that way, assuming care is taken. There’s even an argument to be made that verbal instructions on safe use are even to be encouraged, and helpful hints aren’t exactly out of line (for real, a lot of young people masturbate in unhealthy ways that just a few sentences could prevent much trouble down the line).

    In context, with the info you provided in comments, the mother in question is not being a good parent in this case, so it fits the word abnormal in the sense that it is unhealthy.

    • SuperEars@lemmy.world
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      8 days ago

      It’s tough for me to imagine having a talk about sex toys with any of my differently-sexed kids in the future.

      However, on the topic of safe use I have seen too many videos of surgeons removing a football-sized orc dildo from someone’s ass. I think I would find the courage to at least mention the importance of a sufficiently-flared base, especially if I’m on the hook for their medical expenses. Also, the junk caught in the metal cock rings. I’m sure there are more examples.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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        8 days ago

        It’s a little weird for sure. But the whole “do not shove things into you that aren’t fingers or designed for it” conversation is a lot less disturbing than the potential disturbance of that hospital visit. For that matter, it applies to the “don’t shove yourself or rub yourself against anything not designed for it or on/in a consenting and legal human” as well.

        I’ve known a few people that suffered injury from humping stuff that wasn’t wise.

        • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          Also I’d believe that having an open and honest conversation about masturbation would also make it less awkward for the kid to tell their parent if something got stuck or they injured themselves, because if something like that happens, you’d want your kid telling you about that ASAP instead of hiding it or trying to solve it on their own out of embarassment, which could lead to even more problems, because no teen wants to go like “hey mom I got [mundande object that is absolutely not safe for that use] stuck in my ass/vagina” or “hey dad my dick got stuck in [object]”

          • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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            7 days ago

            Amen to that. Keeping a sense of open communication is vital while kids are going to be experimenting and exploring. Not just their bodies amd sexuality, but definitely for those.

  • blargh513@sh.itjust.works
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    8 days ago

    I’m going against the majority.

    It can be made into a weird situation, but the act itself is pragmatic and likely comes from a caring place.

    Every parent with a son knows that theyre buffing the helmet any chance they get as teenagers. They’re gonna make messes, ruin washcloths, use all the hand lotion, etc. Any parent who thinks their son ain’t beating their meat like it owes them money is delusional. Long before your kids get to masturbation age, the parent(s) should have talked about it. If you wait until they get to the age of shame, that is going to be an uncomfortable and unproductive conversation. If you have had an ongoing and open dialog about sex, masturbation, their bodies and other topics, talking about some of the details later will not be a taboo topic. Thusly if the parent offers a masturbatory device to the child, it won’t be weird unless someone wants to make it that way. If the conversations have not taken place and you still want to get your kid a sex toy, you could just order something online and leave it for them without saying anything. You could also get them a gift card to the sex store so they can get something for themself. While I presume most teenage boys dont want to share their private acts of self - gratification with their parent, there is no reason why there cannot be practical honesty about them. Get your kid a sex toy, leave it in his room, and unless he wants to talk about it, assume that he will get many hours of satisfaction from it.

    • I fully agree, this is a pragmatic gift if you kept your discourse about sexual topics open with your child from the beginning. I would’ve gone for a gift card so they can choose themselves in privacy, but it’s fine either way.

      For prudish families who learnt of this gift this would be gossip material for the next year tho. So many puritans in the US, the neighbors might be the biggest issue, so i would’ve kept it on the down low.

    • brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      8 days ago

      Giving their son a sex toy, whatever, not common, but it can help have a normal conversation about sex and realistic expectations.

      For his birthday, kind of weird. I don’t think it should so formal a thing. Just so it and have the conversation about safe sex and how porn isn’t like real sex.

      For his 18th, uhhhh little late to the party.

      • Red_October@lemmy.world
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        Okay but also giving a kid a sex toy before their 18th birthday is how you end up on a list and have to tell your neighbors about it.

  • BilboBargains@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    It’s an unusual gift and would make most people incredibly awkward but there’s nothing sinister in the act itself, absent of the context. People gift things like guns and alcohol and I would argue those do more harm.

  • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    between a scale of “giving your kid condoms and the talk on prom night” and "mother measures my penis every weekend at bath time” this is a solid “my mother bought me a fleshlight so I remember her every time I crank it”.

    Jesus dude…I’m sorry. and if you’re into that shit…congratulations?

    • But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world
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      I remember watching this show dark side of the ring, and this one wrestler buff bagwell would get his mom to shave his asshole for him. Some people are weird

      • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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        8 days ago

        1000000702

        I could have gone my whole life not knowing this. now that I know…I must tell others, and progress the dark shame of humanity.

  • asmoranomar@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    Only if it’s a present the size of a car in the garage and you invite everyone over to witness him unwrap it.