GalacticSushi

tl;dr

Israel told him it was a good idea and would be super easy. Trump decided to do it, the yes-men he’s surrounded himself didn’t object.

And here we are today, possibly about to commit war crimes against a civilian population as part of a war that we have yet to figure out a coherent reason for starting in the first place.

It’s a 4-D chess move. We couldn’t stop Iran from killing it’s civilian population by waging war against their government, so we’ll just eradicate the civilian population so the government can’t kill any more of them.

This war strategy brought to you by Chat-GPT, unprecedented brain drain in the government/military, and the U.S. electorate failing an open book test by electing the dumbest, least stable man alive for a second term.

Please ignore if Trump has come up with a new excuse for starting this war in the first place. It’s hard to keep up but I think that’s the latest reasoning before they just gave up on retroactively manufacturing a coherent pretext.

I used to love Mitch Hedberg’s comedy.

I still do, but I used to, too!

Trying to say that the US doesn’t need or care about the strait of Hormuz on Wednesday, then following it up with today’s post was a choice.

Guy has exactly one tactic: start from a relative position of power and bully the little guy. It’s not working like he assumed and he’s floundering.

I like the edit where it shows him in a fifth panel saying “she said ‘he’, I passed!”

My mother in law introducing herself as a “mother of six” and each of her children by their number order. “This is my fourth!”

😬😬😬

It’s the beginning of the month. He disappears at the beginning of the month for a few days then shows back up with a bunch of IV bruising pretty much every month. This has been a pattern for a long time now.

Unrelated, but there’s a dementia drug that is administered via monthly IV infusions.

And give me scoliosis until I comatosis and that’s my commandment you ain’t gotta ask Moses

Trump on Wednesday: But I want to be very clear about something. This literally means nothing to me.

Trump today:

why did I go along with this?

Because you have to pay back all the tuition money you got from ROTC if you don’t hold up your end of the bargain.

the majority of the country

If a third of the country sieg heils while another third just stands around "both sides"ing the situation, you might as well have a majority sieg heiling.

Your repeated, emphatic Nazi salutes are not something you want being discussed right before you have an IPO.

Blobfish actually look pretty normal in their typical high pressure habitat, it’s the depressurization when getting brought up to the surface that causes them to look so fucked up. You wouldn’t look so hot if someone grabbed you by the neck and pulled you into the exosphere without any warning.

The next democratic presidential candidate needs to promise to revive DOGE specifically to cancel every single contract the government has with this tumor of a person.

Tesla’s stock price is currently so far beyond anything that makes any sense from a logical or economic standpoint. The stock market operates primarily on vibes and FOMO, unfortunately.

No, that deal only goes into effect if the Tesla stock price goes above a certain unrealistic value (more unrealistic than its current nonsensical valuation). He’s still a centibillionaire, but hopefully soon he’ll be merged with the other centibillionaires into a human centipede situation.

Plot twist: they were leaked by Noem to distract from her husband’s crossdressing photos.

At least that’s what I’ll tell myself because the thought of this ghoulish administration collapsing from infighting causes a calming sensation to wash over me.