I had a goth friend who would always get laid without much trouble. At some point he got a normal job and had to “become a normie”, and I learned that it wasn’t because he was a goth, it was because he was a complete asshole with women, and some women, for some reason, can’t resist assholes.
Also, young people often are bad at determining how impressive someone is so they go off the social cues of just believing that they’re acting genuinely in line with their status. This means someone moderately attractive treating 21 year olds like they’re just barely worth their time can often get anything from sex to unpaid overtime if they sell it well and are indiscriminately fishing.
Most people grow out of it, but some don’t. Then there’s also that the pool isn’t a representative sample of the population. The mature and discriminate are easy to miss (they filter heavily), more likely to leave low investment pools like tinder because the effort/value proposition is bad, and when they leave because of relationships will take longer to return to the pool. It’s not that all the good ones are taken, its that most of the bad ones are looking.
I’ve known many women who were very nice and intelligent, who dated assholes. Usually they end the relationship thinking “ugh, why did I do that? That guy was such an asshole.”
They do this because women are human, and do the very human thing of making mistakes and regretting them.
They do this because [even nice and intelligent] women are human horny, and do the very human horny thing of making mistakes and regretting them.
Bad/terrible people can be hot. In fact, often when people are hot they feel more free to be their natural asshole selves because they can get away with it more. This applies to both men and women in all directions.
In fact, some people want their partner to be mean to them, its more often hetero women who like that. If a guy can be mean and get away with it, that implies they’re hot shit, extremely confident, rich, and/or powerful. Those are attractive features in a guy.
There are also hetero men who want women to be mean to them, especially in the bedroom.
Deeply communicating that you are an asshole, by continuing to be pretentious?
By showing that you are actually confident that being consistently pretentious is a good way to showcase this, despite claiming you have no confidence?
By disproving that your asshole status is self-evident, by showcasing that it actually requires a sustained interaction to demonstrate this?
I dunno, I’ve been around a lot of assholes, constantly contradicting themselves in ‘clever’ ways is pretty bog standard behavior.
In my case, you’re wrong, the guy is like a tank, insecurity is not the case. I see some people trying to “dig deeper”:
“maybe the women have insecurities, so it is them who are to blame”
“maybe the asshole is not an asshole, he just has a childhood trauma”
No, he is a confident asshole, and his “charm” works one some women (and not each of them falls into made-up categories). People look for patterns too much. “I’m a red-piller” - lol, that’s a first.
Note, I’m not protecting the guy, but he is not a comic-book villain with an origin story. He just happens to be successful in finding one-night stands because of a personal trait.
Edit: forgotten line breaks
When you say things like “some women can’t resist assholes” it sounds like red pill rhetoric. A better way to say it might be like “some assholes prey on women’s insecurities”. Keep the focus on the person who is the problem, not the victims.
When you say things like “some assholes prey on women’s insecurities” it’s incredibly condescending, especially when you consider that women can also be assholes.
Like begets like. I’ve known too many couples where both of the people in the relationship are trash.
A better way to say it might be like “some assholes prey on women’s insecurities”. Keep the focus on the person who is the problem, not the victims.
idk I think that’s needlessly condescending to women, not all of them dating assholes are victims, some just like assholes because they like asshole behavior because they’re also an asshole.
Many men, and women, and every other kind of human, often mistake confidence and decisiveness … for competence, reliability, trustworthiness, responsibility.
…
This is by no means totally specific to a sex or gender, it applies broadly, in all kinds of social situations, business relationships, etc, between all kinds of genders and sexes.
This innappropriate or overweighted heuristic tendency also tends to lessen with age, as people gain first hand experience and knowledge that this heruistic, this intuition, this assumption… is actually often not accurate.
…
Anybody with decent charisma, which a huge component of is an above average, but not overwhelming level of outwardly displayed confidence, stands a better chance at convincing most people of basically anything, intentionally or unintentionally.
Lots of overly confident people bulldoze into a situation, legitimately believing they were well equipped to handle it in an ethical way, only later to realize… oh, I am in way over my head, I fucked up.
Lots of overly confident people also just know they are full of shit, and intentionally bulldoze through, and then either gaslight about how they did nothing wrong, or just fucking vanish.
This again works beyond just interpersonal romantic relationships:
For every bonafide grifter con artist (crypto for dudes, cosmetics MLMs for gals), there is a well intentioned new boss or manager who basically accidentally fucks up the entire department out of inexperience and hubris…
And both of those are often aided by their natural, above average levels of confidence and charisma.
But you mirrored both the genders and the way responsibility flows.
Some men and women are assholes who prey on the inexperienced, some men and women are naturally more confident than most, and give others a false impression, mostly or entirely unintentionally.
You don’t seem to accept that some people can accidentally lead people on without actually trying to do that, that one person’s obvious flirting can be another person’s just trying to be friendly, that one person can never explicitly say that ‘this is a committed, serious relationship’, and another person can hear that anyway.
I had a goth friend who would always get laid without much trouble. At some point he got a normal job and had to “become a normie”, and I learned that it wasn’t because he was a goth, it was because he was a complete asshole with women, and some women, for some reason, can’t resist assholes.
Being an asshole implies confidence.
Women like confidence.
Inexperience and young girls mistake being a dick with confidence
Also, young people often are bad at determining how impressive someone is so they go off the social cues of just believing that they’re acting genuinely in line with their status. This means someone moderately attractive treating 21 year olds like they’re just barely worth their time can often get anything from sex to unpaid overtime if they sell it well and are indiscriminately fishing.
Most people grow out of it, but some don’t. Then there’s also that the pool isn’t a representative sample of the population. The mature and discriminate are easy to miss (they filter heavily), more likely to leave low investment pools like tinder because the effort/value proposition is bad, and when they leave because of relationships will take longer to return to the pool. It’s not that all the good ones are taken, its that most of the bad ones are looking.
Certain women like asshole confidence. Typically the type to write “I’m a bitch, deal with it” in their bios
I’ve known many women who were very nice and intelligent, who dated assholes. Usually they end the relationship thinking “ugh, why did I do that? That guy was such an asshole.”
They do this because women are human, and do the very human thing of making mistakes and regretting them.
sometimes you dont realise theyre an asshole until youre already a year plus deep
Yeah, new relationship energy will fucking get you sometimes
yeah im still feeling the repercussions of the one i went through 5 years after it ended
Bad/terrible people can be hot. In fact, often when people are hot they feel more free to be their natural asshole selves because they can get away with it more. This applies to both men and women in all directions.
In fact, some people want their partner to be mean to them, its more often hetero women who like that. If a guy can be mean and get away with it, that implies they’re hot shit, extremely confident, rich, and/or powerful. Those are attractive features in a guy.
There are also hetero men who want women to be mean to them, especially in the bedroom.
I can find no fault with anything you just said. Except maybe that having a thing for being abused spans all genders and sexual identities.
Damn I need to power off. I’m like how does anyone write in their BIOS? I’m pretty sure it’s just settings. 😅
It’s not that hard, the trick is using your computer after.
Aren’t all operating systems bi(nary)?
/s don’t @me about ternary computers
Edit: actually do @me about ternary computers, I looked them up and they’re cool as shit
LOL
deleted by creator
Look at coreboot. You can flash your bios with open source software!
No. Hi. Asshole here; zero confidence.
Well I’d ask you to prove you’re an asshole, but apparently you don’t believe you could?
=P
No, inverse; i think it’s self evident.
Perhaps ironically, this is pretentious enough to convince me that you may indeed be an asshole.
Task failed successfully?
Or im just communicating on a deeper level than you.
Deeply communicating that you are an asshole, by continuing to be pretentious?
By showing that you are actually confident that being consistently pretentious is a good way to showcase this, despite claiming you have no confidence?
By disproving that your asshole status is self-evident, by showcasing that it actually requires a sustained interaction to demonstrate this?
I dunno, I’ve been around a lot of assholes, constantly contradicting themselves in ‘clever’ ways is pretty bog standard behavior.
Now you begin to understand.
My appearance should do, but, alas.
nope. it implies a craven amount of insecurity.
it says something though that so many people assume this, it’s certainly not just you.
Whatever. It gives off the impression of confidence. We’re trying to explain observed phenomena here, not cast moral judgements.
In my case, you’re wrong, the guy is like a tank, insecurity is not the case. I see some people trying to “dig deeper”:
No, he is a confident asshole, and his “charm” works one some women (and not each of them falls into made-up categories). People look for patterns too much. “I’m a red-piller” - lol, that’s a first.
Note, I’m not protecting the guy, but he is not a comic-book villain with an origin story. He just happens to be successful in finding one-night stands because of a personal trait.
Edit: forgotten line breaks
a lot of people who over-invest on physical attributes have serious insecurities.
I hold to my premise. it in no way discredits him being an asshole in his coping with these issues.
Not strong like a tank, I meant by attitude. Ok, you invent whatever person you want in your head.
When you say things like “some women can’t resist assholes” it sounds like red pill rhetoric. A better way to say it might be like “some assholes prey on women’s insecurities”. Keep the focus on the person who is the problem, not the victims.
When you say things like “some assholes prey on women’s insecurities” it’s incredibly condescending, especially when you consider that women can also be assholes.
Like begets like. I’ve known too many couples where both of the people in the relationship are trash.
idk I think that’s needlessly condescending to women, not all of them dating assholes are victims, some just like assholes because they like asshole behavior because they’re also an asshole.
I keep the focus where I want, that doesn’t change the asshole-victim situation, and I won’t save anyone if I change the wording.
Obviously you can do what you want, you have free will.
How about:
Many men, and women, and every other kind of human, often mistake confidence and decisiveness … for competence, reliability, trustworthiness, responsibility.
…
This is by no means totally specific to a sex or gender, it applies broadly, in all kinds of social situations, business relationships, etc, between all kinds of genders and sexes.
This innappropriate or overweighted heuristic tendency also tends to lessen with age, as people gain first hand experience and knowledge that this heruistic, this intuition, this assumption… is actually often not accurate.
…
Anybody with decent charisma, which a huge component of is an above average, but not overwhelming level of outwardly displayed confidence, stands a better chance at convincing most people of basically anything, intentionally or unintentionally.
Lots of overly confident people bulldoze into a situation, legitimately believing they were well equipped to handle it in an ethical way, only later to realize… oh, I am in way over my head, I fucked up.
Lots of overly confident people also just know they are full of shit, and intentionally bulldoze through, and then either gaslight about how they did nothing wrong, or just fucking vanish.
This again works beyond just interpersonal romantic relationships:
For every bonafide grifter con artist (crypto for dudes, cosmetics MLMs for gals), there is a well intentioned new boss or manager who basically accidentally fucks up the entire department out of inexperience and hubris…
And both of those are often aided by their natural, above average levels of confidence and charisma.
I’m fine saying “many people prey on other people’s insecurities.” I am not “making this about gender.” I was mirroring the genders I was replying to.
But you mirrored both the genders and the way responsibility flows.
Some men and women are assholes who prey on the inexperienced, some men and women are naturally more confident than most, and give others a false impression, mostly or entirely unintentionally.
You don’t seem to accept that some people can accidentally lead people on without actually trying to do that, that one person’s obvious flirting can be another person’s just trying to be friendly, that one person can never explicitly say that ‘this is a committed, serious relationship’, and another person can hear that anyway.
If you think I’m mirroring everything the other person said, why are you criticizing my words instead of theirs?