• kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 days ago

    You don’t believe that wealthier or stronger people can be abused? That’s absurd. In this case, everything I’ve seen indicates that the abuse was mutual, but there are definitely also cases where an abuse victim is bigger, stronger, etc. than their abuser. Implying that those victims are somehow deficient by virtue of being victims is reprehensible.

    • yesman@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      You don’t believe that wealthier or stronger people can be abused?

      Only the Sith deal in absolutes, but yes, I believe that the party with more power is likely to be the one who abuses. You may be aware that power is not just an indicator of abuse, but often the modality of abuse.

      The idea that Depp chooses partners who are younger than his shoes, and still gets overpowered and outmatched, calls into question not only his masculinity, but his ability to function in the world.

      • kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 hours ago

        Only the Sith deal in absolutes, but yes, I believe that the party with more power is likely to be the one who abuses.

        That probably true, but we aren’t talking about statistics, we’re talking about an individual case.

        and still gets overpowered and outmatched, calls into question not only his masculinity,

        That’s just toxic masculinity masquerading as feminism. At worst, that attitude could even influence a man who’s an abuse victim to fight back with disproportionate force in the name of “defending his masculinity” and potentially seriously injure or even kill his abuser rather than seeking help and potentially seeing them rehabilitated. Shaming people for doing less violence is almost never a good idea.

      • kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 hours ago

        So mutual abuse outright isn’t real because one person tends to have more power? Or because some abusers lie about their victims also being abusers? That headline is at best disingenuous clickbait, at worst an outright lie. Not all abusive situations are mutual, sure. Not being a “perfect victim” doesn’t make you a perpetrator, absolutely. But even in the article you posted, the only assertions that the author makes after the title are that mutual abuse is uncommon, not fake.