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My husband got tired of being the only planner and stopped, and his friend group basically disintegrated. He came to regret it later realizing, yes, someone has to take the lead or things don’t happen.
I don’t see why that was so regretful of him to stop if he got burnt out from continuing. I would rather be disappointed that no one else was interested in at least rotating the burden; even just one other person alternating can make a huge difference. With that said, I wonder if he asked anyone.
Yep, same
book the airbnb
I’d rather be lonely than give this garbage company a single cent of my money.
They rent out Palestinian homes in the West Bank that were stolen by Zionist settler terrorists.
Fuck AirBnB
Oh my goodness, THIS, a million percent!! Also, you have to be ok with the event you plan being the reward in itself for you, because if you expect people to thank you… you’re going to have a bad time. On top of that, you have to be ok with people expecting you to do it forever from that moment on. Basically, you’re going to have to be quite emotionally and mentally robust to enjoy the experience 🤣
Yeah, book airbnb, buy tickets and then watch people casually forget to pay you back.
Those are not friends.
Except everyone is like that. If you will insist on only hanging out with people that that take part in organizing, are on time, pay their debts promptly and actually have time to go out you will be handing out alone.
This is false.
If it’s different for you, you’re very lucky. Enjoy.
Skill issue.
What’s the skill? Fixing the world?
Obligatory, FUCK AIRBNB!
There’s a reason I stopped hosting gatherings and planning events.
I used to live within 20 minutes by car, bus, or train to every single one of my friends. Now the closest one is 35 minutes away. Many of them are parents now, some have second jobs.
Planning changed from a “let’s hang next Friday” to a week-long process of comparing availabilities (usually received after individually bugging people) which results in a planned night 1-2 months out. And often times, something comes up and we have to start over.
I got frustrated with it and started giving them MY availability, telling them to figure it out between themselves and get back to me. But since I’m kind of the linchpin of a disparate friend group, it rarely happens.
My goodness, I have a friend who refuses (REFUSES) to give a bulk availability list, and instead just say “No” to everyone else’s dates that don’t match his. My bro, just give me a list of days for the love of socialism.
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Me: I can do X, Y, Z, and AA
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Friend1 : I got X, Z, AA, and maybe Y if we go early
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Friend2: I got V, Y, N, %, and Left-Field
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Friend3 : None of those work for me
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Me: What does work for you?
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Friend3: I dunno, what dates are you guys open to?
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Me: WE JUST DID THAT
I mean, at that point, don’t discuss it in text, but use a scheduling tool that forces people into a framework. If they refuse, they’re just being a dick, but at that point, at least it’s obvious they’re fucking around.
Tools like this help a lot for my group
I’ll give this a gander
Group chats on Discord, Signal, Telegram, and WhatsApp all support poll features, too, if one’s social circles use any of those. I’ve even assembled availability-scheduling through Google Forms as well.
Mine aren’t that bad and it’s admittedly only one of them who cancels but it’s still frustrating enough for me to call it quits on organizing stuff
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oh sure thanks, let me get my gold lined cheque book and start making reservations this second!
Well yeah that post is bougie af, you could just invite people over lol
I live in a single room in a basement.
i was living in a shed when i made that comment 7 hours ago. just picked up keys to an actual apartment today. hoping the best for your situation, i know its not easy.
Thanks it’s honestly not too bad. Just no good for hosting social events.
Congrats on the apartment.
Can you write something in that gold lined checkbook for the rest of us too?
Never ever book an airbnb
A regularly scheduled event is imo the best solution. Just have something on one night per month, everyone knows when it is, if they can’t make it no big deal there’s always next month. No need to continuously be organising something new.
Introverts need more casual interactions, the walk or bike to work/school, with a stop at the local park or coffee shop
coffee shops are where it’s at
Maybe it is me but I’ve never been sitting in a coffee shop and seen anyone who wanted to be talked to. Headphones, laptops, doom scrolling.
Probably me, though.
different kind of coffeeshop : )
Oooh…
Neat AirBnB ad
The downside of this is when people flake or aren’t sure about future plans. You’re stuck with the bill.
then no one comes
This week, I planned a 4p game night, got several people to respond affirmatively on it. No one showed up.
Some people are just so brain-empty they can’t associate words to meaning. They just respond in expectation, assuming they should say “Yeah, I’ll be there!” and then perform no follow up with travel planning or calendar entries. That is how dumb this generation is.
Flaky people have always been flaky it’s not a generational thing.
You were planning the event. Did you perform any follow up?
It’s the phones 😒
People were flaky before phones, don’t make this a generational thing.
I’m not, I was less flaky before I got a phone.
Young folks are the ones eschewing smartphones, not boomers
I’m the opposite. Having easy access to calendar reminders has made me way less flaky
Ah interesting. For me being able to actually reach people at any time has made me much more prone to cancelling plans.
I guess that shows the danger of generalizations based on a small sample size.
Yeah… I suppose anything can be the cause of anything to some person. Phones have been a bane for people like me, but obviously I’m not the only type of person.
When i inv people to things they don’t come
You have the planner and the nucleus. The nucleus is the person that everyone wants to hang out with, usually an extrovert with no planning skills. The planner and the nucleus are natural allies because they meet eachother’s needs. So figure out who the nucleus of your group is, be good buds, and plan things out with them first so you know they can make it before you send out the invite.
Then when you send out the invite they’ll reply all to say they’re coming and everyone else will come. Some groups have multiple nuclei so that’s a thing too.
Planner nucleus followers arrangement might make you feel unloved as the planner… But it’s just normal human social structures. Even Nazis had the same setup with Hitler and Goebel, Trump and Miller. Any group you look at has this structure! Secretly without the planner nobody gets to hang out at all so they’re the real OG imo. A group with only nucleus-followers is a bunch of people who rarely meet and say “we should do this more often” and then don’t.
I got lucky, our extrovert also has planning skills… Mostly, but good enough that a few of the rest of us can supplement on the details that get missed
