• UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    12 days ago

    Classroom bell rings, signaling the start of the school day.

    Announcements from The President on the glorious state of the country.

    Pledge Allegiance to the Flag

    Pledge Allegiance to the Ten Commandments

    All Students Must Submit to Daily Gender Inspection

    Teachers each pull out a Palestinian Flag and stomp on it, while pledging their allegiance to Israel

    Burning of the Communist Manifesto

    15-minute address by Steven Crowder and Joe Rogan

    All students write a letter to a white person they know, apologizing for DEI

    Physical Education Power Hour: All boys must oil themselves and engage in a greeco-roman wrestling match. Girls are removed to the Vice Principle’s lounge for further gender inspection.

    Pep Talk by celebrity athlete and/or professional wrestler about the importance of eating raw eggs and drinking raw milk

    Red Dawn Drills: Students rehearse how they will repeal an imminent invasion by Islamic Communist Far-Left Feminazis

    Two-Hour Standardized Testing on Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. Students are stack ranked on the results and the lowest performing child is beaten with bags full of soap

    Five minute lunch break.

    Classroom Bell Rings, announcing the Four Hour School Day has ended.

    Students queue for the bus to the local coal mine, where there eight hour work rotation begins.

    • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
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      12 days ago

      Announcements from The President on the glorious state of the country.

      That can be done via radio reproductors on the streets or on TV or both, the good old Nazi and Soviet way.

      Physical Education Power Hour: All boys must oil themselves and engage in a greeco-roman wrestling match. Girls are removed to the Vice Principle’s lounge for further gender inspection.

      I think I could find my calling in such a high school, and it wouldn’t be the wrestling trainer. Just joking.

      But makes sense, nothing improves one’s masculinity like some, eh, wrestling. Ask Turks what kirkpinar is.

      Pep Talk by celebrity athlete and/or professional wrestler about the importance of eating raw eggs and drinking raw milk

      … and how nematodes are protein too …

      Red Dawn Drills: Students rehearse how they will repeal an imminent invasion by Islamic Communist Far-Left Feminazis

      Google for “Zarnitsa”, this can be actually fun.

      Two-Hour Standardized Testing on Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. Students are stack ranked on the results and the lowest performing child is beaten with bags full of soap

      Cruel, but effective (no)

      Students queue for the bus to the local coal mine, where there eight hour work rotation begins.

      In USSR that’d sometimes be potato fields, but fine.

  • Carvex@lemmy.world
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    12 days ago

    If I recall correctly Governor HotWheels, Gawd put you in that wheelchair. Feels like you should be a bit more pissed at him rather than forcing his demands on others.

  • SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world
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    12 days ago

    This is why banning orginized religion is necessary.

    Nobody should ever think it’s acceptable for laws to reflect religion.

    • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      That’s just the tip! They also go sucky sucky under bathroom stalls, keep tabs on their male family members’ porn habits, get caught escaping a 20-man orgy through a small widow, and shower male escorts with expensive gifts.

      Oh, and they pray. Or pretend to, anyway.

  • meejle@lemmy.world
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    12 days ago

    I hope teachers come up with crazy workarounds, like Miss Honey’s classroom in Matilda

  • njm1314@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    You know what kills me about this most? It’s the King James version. They specifically put that in the bill. It had to be the King James version. The version of the Bible that has been alter the most obviously, well other than the first few I guess. Did they want to accurately transcribe the word of their god? No they wanted to make sure they use the version that King James wrote specifically to increase his power. Fascinating.