WASHINGTON (AP) — U.S. Vice President JD Vance said that he’s joining his wife on a Friday trip to Greenland, suggesting in an online video that global security is at stake.
“We’re going to check out how things are going there,” Vance said in a video shared Tuesday. “Speaking for President Trump, we want to reinvigorate the security of the people of Greenland because we think it’s important to protecting the security of the entire world.”
Let’s be honest. How many people would care if Greenland just threw him in an ice cave? His wife probably wouldn’t even look for him until she ran out of mascara. No one in America cares about JD Vance. People who loathe Trump or Ted Cruz or whomever have to force giving a shit about JD Vance.
There’s no evidence Greenland even met with them. Greenland was with me at the restaurant all night. I’m sure my other friends could also corroborate that. Remember that guys? Greenland was cracking jokes all night. Dave almost peed his pants he was laughing so hard.
I’m sorry I don’t know the name of Greenland’s prime minister. They just had an election and I don’t know who will ultimately put a coalition together. I saw puffins in Iceland once who were headed that way and I know ice core samples often come from Greenland. (Shout out to Greenland for puffins and science!) But please excuse my ignorance.
My original point was that JD Vance is irrelevant. I don’t remember his wife’s name but I know it’s like 4 or 5 letters and multiple vowels and syllables. UEFA is not correct, obviously, but it’s like that.