The one that lists sheets is at least using a verifiable metric. It’s better than the “right rolls of unspecified size are more than 39 different rolls of unspecified size”.
Still silly because no one knows how many sheets they use before changing the roll, but at least it’s reasonable silly.
The label usually says total surface area in the package. The stores near me break the price down to cost per unit of area, as well. This really untangles the 'how much should I pay for a quadrahedroll vs a dodecca butt sphere" worth of paper?
Username checks out!
This is such bullshit. Pointless manipulation of product offerings to hide the true cost, and thereby manipulate prices. I’ve been doing paper towel math like this for years and it drives me nuts. Grocery stores’ profit model is now almost entirely based on price manipulation and nothing else.
Toilet paper making is an ART! No other industry manages to create a half-ply so transparent that you can read your newspaper through it, while still delivering the tactile experience of an 80 grid industrial sandpaper.
Brother, just spend the few extra bucks and buy name brand, the extra money ain’t gonna kill ya. Meanwhile, the TP you seem to buy now might have you bleeding to death from your ass.
That’s not my toilet paper, but one I recently had to endure on a non-private toilet. I was just amazed that they can actually produce such a paper. I’m quite attached to my ass and it’s wellbeing, so sure I buy the better stuff for me and my family.
https://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/27/magazine/why-do-americans-stink-at-math.html
One of the most vivid arithmetic failings displayed by Americans occurred in the early 1980s, when the A&W restaurant chain released a new hamburger to rival the McDonald’s Quarter Pounder. With a third-pound of beef, the A&W burger had more meat than the Quarter Pounder; in taste tests, customers preferred A&W’s burger. And it was less expensive. A lavish A&W television and radio marketing campaign cited these benefits. Yet instead of leaping at the great value, customers snubbed it.
Only when the company held customer focus groups did it become clear why. The Third Pounder presented the American public with a test in fractions. And we failed. Misunderstanding the value of one-third, customers believed they were being overcharged. Why, they asked the researchers, should they pay the same amount for a third of a pound of meat as they did for a quarter-pound of meat at McDonald’s. The “4” in “¼,” larger than the “3” in “⅓,” led them astray.
America: Failing 2nd grade math since the 1980s.
In fairness, the people they surveyed grew up breathing lead. I wonder if a modern audience would handle that test better
Nope. Failure rate would be the same.
I would think worse actually, fairly sure our literacy and numeracy scores are worse now than in the 80s.
Ah, ok, they peaked in 2012, been declining since, almost back down to 70s/80s levels.

This graoh only goes to 2022… and other sources have those scores continuing to fall.
And we also have TikTok destroying everyone’s attention spans and capacity to self regulate today.
Should have called it the 2/6 pounder.
I wish they sold them by shits instead of by sheets. “This package is good for 100 regular shits or 50 creamy shits.”
This would be incredibly unreliable. I’d rather want the hard facts: how many sheets per roll and how many plies
Welcome to our newest technology, mini sheets! They are much softer and better for your anal health. Good luck guessing what size they are.
Given the information here, I believe that:
1 Giant Roll = 2.25+ Rolls = 2250+ Sheets
1 Double Roll = 2 Rolls = 2000 Sheets
1 Super Mega Roll = 6 Rolls = 6000 Sheets
1000 Sheets = 1 Roll = 0.5 Double Roll = 0.444 Giant Roll = 0.166 Super Mega Roll
1 Super Mega Roll = 2.666 Giant Roll = 3 Double Roll = 6 Roll = 6000 Sheets
I can take 6000 shits with one super mega roll?! WOW!
Go by weight. If you have two bundles that have the same number of rolls, the heavier one either has more or thicker squares.
And if they add lead or something else heavy to the packaging? Ha! Checkmate!
Yeah be careful they be cutting the toilet paper with fent out there. Stay safe.
All this effort to communicate the idea of bigger or smaller rolls instead of just giving us the total surface area. But then, this isn’t about informing the consumer it’s about making it seem bigger. If they just gave us a total measurement in sq ft that would make it too easy to compare prices.
It’s like guys measuring their dick, they aren’t terribly concerned with the validity of the measurement as long as the result sounds good.
If they just gave us a total measurement in sq ft that would make it too easy to compare prices.
They do, and it does.

I just get my TP for free from the office
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime… that’s why I steal his toilet paper and make it mine.
Is this unshittification?
That’s usually what I use my toilet paper for
Every toilet paper related thread ever:
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Jokes about paper quality
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Americans describing their upgrade to a bidet like its the second enlightenment
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Europeans feeling superior that they’ve been using bidets for a couple hundred years
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The one random Asian trying to figure out where did humanity regress and perma downgrade from water to ass scratch material in the western world
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No explanation as to how water users seems to magically dry themselves without tp, heat or air, yet watching a new user come out looking like it rained in the bathroom
And on rare occasions:
- Westerners describing low pressure water cleaning with your hand like it will give you ebola, despite it being objectively more sanitary than toilet paper, and despite the fact that’s how bidets used to work
Why are you shitting on the tp aficionados?
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I wish toilet paper math worked on my bank account.
In Canada at the bottom of the package they will tell you the dimensions of the sheet and sheets per roll or length I can’t remember.
You still have to do math but the actual numbers are there for you to do it.
The real answer is just go to Costco and buy one of those giant packs with the massive sheets and don’t think too much about it.
It’s super expensive too. There are handmade papers from Japan that are less expensive than your average toilet paper.
By volume??? Where are you buying it? Also what’re you eating? Chipotle 24/7?
I have a bidet and my toilet paper budget is literally 1 big Costco size pack per year at ~ $20. I could cut so many expenses before that is a problem spend.
Get it from the grocery store. It’s like $3.50 a square foot or something. Seattle, so it’s expensive. Also, costco toilet paper sucks and no bidet.
The hell it is.
A 24-pack of Charmin ultra strong is 785 square feet. It cost 50 bucks.
That’s 6¢ per square foot.
I wondering how a “super mega” roll will fit on a standard roll holder.









