The same reactionary wingnuts who used to fret a lot about hormones and sports have abruptly pivoted. Not long ago, figures like Peter Thiel and Donald Trump Jr. were hell-bent on keeping testosterone, the elixir of their gods, in its gendered lane. Now they want athletes of all sexes to surge with male hormones. They’ve become pro-doping.
Thus the Enhanced Games (yep, that’s the name), nominally a steroids-addled sports event but in fact a eugenics experiment venture-capitalized with max virility by Thiel and Don Jr… For extra manly pow, the event’s CEO is Aron D’Souza, a Thiel pal who spearheaded Thiel’s crusade against Gawker Media for the crime of press freedoms.
Why is real life so fucking stupid right now
Because Biff Tannen time-travelled from 1985 to 1955 to give himself a sports almanac that let him amass a huge fortune on sports betting, which he used to take over the country.
Oh god…
The good news is that all you have to do to fix this is make out with your mom.
Listen, I don’t make the rules. Just get to second base with your mom and we can all go home.
I’m just an innocent bystander here, but I specifically remember the last time these two were in 1955, the kid had to run from his mom, and I’m pretty sure the crazy scientist was drunk the whole time, at the very least.
If the scientist is neither crazy nor drunk, can they truly be said to be a scientist?
TIL I may actually be a scientist…
would you stop suggesting making out with my mom i’m starting to think you have some kind of octopus complex
Prove to me it wouldn’t help.
I would need a shovel for that
Because the Supreme Court decided to allow unlimited dark money in politics with Citizens United.
Because you can’t rule earth with just a few handful of ultra-rich overlords without making the masses totally dumb and easily manipulated first…
The other day I read “every day is the dumbest day, until tomorrow” and I will always remember those wise words.
As one of Chevy Chase’s characters said, “Every day is better than the next.”