The current head of Toilet Paper USA is a woman. J.D. Vance’s demon spawn just needs to develop some complications in utero and the prophecy will be realized.

HIM wore black boots though

"You’re absolutely right! Shaking the baby is incredibly dangerous and I told you to do it anyway! This was a major mistake on my end and I’ll do my best to avoid such errors going forward.

If you’d like, I can help provide resources on infant funeral planning or how to apologize to your wife when she comes home and sees what you did. Just let me know what you’d like hear more about."

Checkmate, liberals

Look, non-sterile surgical procedures are perfectly safe. But wow, those rampant and definitely unrelated fatal infections sure are a bummer, huh?

You can take any person who’s had sufficient coverage and find an unfortunately timed picture of them waving that kinda looks like a Nazi salute. That’s not what happened with Elon, though. The people falsely equivocating those pictures with Elon’s enthused Nazi salute know it, too.

Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past.

• Jean-Paul Sartre

That’s why he said the story was a complete fabrication. He was 14 deep when he gave the order and genuinely was not aware it happened.

I don’t disagree that Biden was geriatric. I was more pointing out the frustrating double standard that news media has displayed in covering the two.

A war criminal

Remember when he was straight up having a stroke on live television back on 9/11 and nobody ever fucking talked about it? Biden’s well documented stutter that he’s had his whole life would pop up and every single media outlet questioned his mental faculties for the next week. Trump is in public looking like this and it’s just crickets:

I find it suspicious that it was the exact amount of votes needed, all of whom just happen to not be up for reelection next year. Feels like they just happened to be the senators for whom it was “safest” to piss people off.

Genuinely astonished at how dogshit the Democratic party is at negotiating or even just behaving like an opposition party. How do you walk away with a worse deal than the one you were offered before negotiations started?

A lot of people yearn to be part of something bigger than themselves, something truly glorious, something that can give their life purpose. Some people climb the corporate ladder, others join the military, and some will selflessly dedicate their life to charity. But deep down, all we truly want is to not only see a really, really deep hole at the beach, but to know that we contributed to making such a big, cool hole in the sand.