Borderline personality disorder (BPD). Its a very hard condition to live with and very stigmatized, even within mental healthcare (some therapists refuse to see patients with BPD). I have a friend with the condition and I love her very very dearly; she works her ass off to manage the condition, which I imagine is a little easier now that she knows she has the condition and can understand a bit more what’s going on and what might be productive in improving things.
The reason its relevant is that a large component of BPD is relational volatility. And additionally, an unstable or fluctuating sense of self, persistent feelings of emptiness, relational paranoia, intense emotions and difficulty regulating them resulting in emotional volatility, impulsivity, and higher risk of suicidality and other impulsive high risk coping strategies (dangerous driving, risky sex, self harm).
Though in the perspective of my friend there are also other large components of the condition that are less often engaged with or discussed because they aren’t what affect other people, which she feels has been much of the focus in how people try to adress BPD, rather than the patient’s experience of distress, not all of which is relational. For example psychosis is very common in people with BPD but very rarely discussed. She has explained BPD as being, in some ways, like a cocktail mixture of other personality disorders.
It’s also my understanding though, that when the patient is seeking to adress the condition (which is not always easy with personality disorders), BPD is very responsive to treatment, which is really cool :)
Please take all of this with several grains of salt, this is intended to be a rough overview because my love for my friend gives me an interest in talking about the condition compassionately, but I’m not a researcher or healthcare professional. I just care about my friend a lot, and much of the therapy I’ve done (DBT, dialectical behavioral therapy) was developed in part as a treatment for BPD
Yeah I’ve had friends who got their BPD under control and are awesome. On the other hand I have some mental scars that I’m working on in therapy from two people with it who fell for me.
I think it’s important we be compassionate to folks with it, but also acknowledge the harm they often do before treatment. The volatility is brutal on both ends of it and can easily lead to them pressuring people into things they don’t want and other very damaging behaviors.
I have a transmasc friend who developed BPD because of transphobia (he’s from Chile, where there’s a really conservative culture [thus sexist, transphobic, homophobic, etc.] and associated bullying).
Recently, my older sister went to the psychiatrist with me for the first time in her life, and she apparently likely has BPD, and maybe is autistic as well.
So I can only agree with you. I hope people become more aware and learn more about mental health issues so they grow more empathetic and the stigma decreases.
I didn’t know it responded well to treatment, that’s good to read. Many women with autism are mistakenly diagnosed with it as some sort of modern day hysteria diagnosis, it fucking sucks.
A friend of mine has that too. She’s sometimes a bit hard to be with, but knowing about the condition I try to tolerate it. And she’s definitely very impulsive at times, buying new things when she really can’t afford it.
She hasn’t talked about it, but her arms have very clear scars from self harm.
She’s been dating a good friend for almost a year now, and they seem to be doing well. Moved together a while back and the condition doesn’t seem to affect her, at least on the outside, as much as it probably could with a worse situation in life.
I’m glad she’s doing alright and folks in her life treat her with grace :)
My friend told me thats been really important for her, that people treat her with grace even when they’re honest about something being hurtful so it doesnt reinforce the self loathing and insecurity thats often a big part of BPD
Borderline personality disorder (BPD). Its a very hard condition to live with and very stigmatized, even within mental healthcare (some therapists refuse to see patients with BPD). I have a friend with the condition and I love her very very dearly; she works her ass off to manage the condition, which I imagine is a little easier now that she knows she has the condition and can understand a bit more what’s going on and what might be productive in improving things.
The reason its relevant is that a large component of BPD is relational volatility. And additionally, an unstable or fluctuating sense of self, persistent feelings of emptiness, relational paranoia, intense emotions and difficulty regulating them resulting in emotional volatility, impulsivity, and higher risk of suicidality and other impulsive high risk coping strategies (dangerous driving, risky sex, self harm).
Though in the perspective of my friend there are also other large components of the condition that are less often engaged with or discussed because they aren’t what affect other people, which she feels has been much of the focus in how people try to adress BPD, rather than the patient’s experience of distress, not all of which is relational. For example psychosis is very common in people with BPD but very rarely discussed. She has explained BPD as being, in some ways, like a cocktail mixture of other personality disorders.
It’s also my understanding though, that when the patient is seeking to adress the condition (which is not always easy with personality disorders), BPD is very responsive to treatment, which is really cool :)
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9005124/
Please take all of this with several grains of salt, this is intended to be a rough overview because my love for my friend gives me an interest in talking about the condition compassionately, but I’m not a researcher or healthcare professional. I just care about my friend a lot, and much of the therapy I’ve done (DBT, dialectical behavioral therapy) was developed in part as a treatment for BPD
Yeah I’ve had friends who got their BPD under control and are awesome. On the other hand I have some mental scars that I’m working on in therapy from two people with it who fell for me.
I think it’s important we be compassionate to folks with it, but also acknowledge the harm they often do before treatment. The volatility is brutal on both ends of it and can easily lead to them pressuring people into things they don’t want and other very damaging behaviors.
I have a transmasc friend who developed BPD because of transphobia (he’s from Chile, where there’s a really conservative culture [thus sexist, transphobic, homophobic, etc.] and associated bullying).
Recently, my older sister went to the psychiatrist with me for the first time in her life, and she apparently likely has BPD, and maybe is autistic as well.
So I can only agree with you. I hope people become more aware and learn more about mental health issues so they grow more empathetic and the stigma decreases.
I didn’t know it responded well to treatment, that’s good to read. Many women with autism are mistakenly diagnosed with it as some sort of modern day hysteria diagnosis, it fucking sucks.
A friend of mine has that too. She’s sometimes a bit hard to be with, but knowing about the condition I try to tolerate it. And she’s definitely very impulsive at times, buying new things when she really can’t afford it.
She hasn’t talked about it, but her arms have very clear scars from self harm.
She’s been dating a good friend for almost a year now, and they seem to be doing well. Moved together a while back and the condition doesn’t seem to affect her, at least on the outside, as much as it probably could with a worse situation in life.
I’m glad she’s doing alright and folks in her life treat her with grace :)
My friend told me thats been really important for her, that people treat her with grace even when they’re honest about something being hurtful so it doesnt reinforce the self loathing and insecurity thats often a big part of BPD
I hope you friend continues to do well :)