This is the code in the Apollo Guidance Computer for Apollo 11.
It’s part of the LUMINARY sofware, which ran on the AGC on the Lunar Module. It’s meant to check if the landing radar is pointed toward the lunar surface - because the LM went through several orientations, the landing radar could be pointed to the front or the side or down. You’re landing on the Moon. Point it down.
Point is, you have to verify user input. Even if your users are the most meticulous and highly trained individuals in history. You have to see if they’re lying. So you get to the BURNBABY.
Browse the code in GitHub - this code is in THE_LUNAR_LANDING.agc
in case anyone is curious, those comments are not a modern addition. They are a faithful reproduction of the original scanned copy of the code.
Ima be honest, I have no idea wtf I’m looking at
I know what
P00is, that’s program 00 or the root process of the computer. Terminating the subprocess hands control back toP00, which is why the processor is instructed toGOTOP00H(the H might indicate the point where the subrutine was called; presumably because the CPU lacks a hardware-implemented “return from subrutine” instruction)Strange that the AI did not elaborate on this, that’s one of the best known parts of the Apollo software…
There’s a 2001 rewrite of the documentation. There’s lots of funny instructions aside from P00 meaning root process of the computer, like an OS kernel which also includes the P00D00 abort routine. There is also
SEXTMARK(sextant mark) andENEMA(software restart).
Sanitizing user input for the Moon landings.
Meanwhile in 2026, ask AI to change an authentication phone number and it says, “Sure thing!” And is ABLE to do it.
You say it like that it is a good thing. The actual reality looks like this: https://tech.yahoo.com/ai/meta-ai/article/metas-ai-chatbot-reportedly-helped-hackers-steal-instagram-accounts--all-they-had-to-do-was-ask-202138534.html
Or to supplement your statement “Meanwhile in 2026 you can ask AI to change the authentication phone number, regardless of if you actually own the account or not.”
Love that the termination routine is GOTOPOOH and the next step is BURNBABY
GOTOPOOHwas actually jargon for Program 00 (Hex), which was (I think?) the AGC’s normal idle routine.BURNBABYwas an alias forBURN_BABY_BURNwhich was the lunar descent burn sequence. Or something. I wouldn’t have named it that.P00H is hilarious.
Poop.
The end of all food, yet also, the beginning of all food.
Poop is the true neutral ground state from whence all emerges and all returns to.
… genuienly an incredible name for the idle loop, I am in awe.
I did not think Maggie Hamilton could be more legendary, but somehow, she is. Damn.
It’s also something we left on the moon. Bags and bags of it, along with empty food containers and their moonwalking backpacks. It’s not like it’s worth it to haul it back to orbit.
I wonder if that shit is something approximating a fossil, currently.
Presumably the radiation would have killed all the fecal bacteria pretty quickly… hell … would the plastic bags have degraded as well?
It has been exposed to 336 hours of continuous unfiltered sunlight each lunar day for the past 40+ years. That’s can’t be good for the plastic. The poo is probably dedicated, but I don’t think it’d be fossilized, in the sense of biological material replaced with stone, I don’t think the moon is geologically active enough for that to happen.
Is there… a word… for… ‘exposed to the void of space for a prolonged period of time’?
Yeah I know fossilized isn’t the right word, as thats generally a process that requires water… but i dont know how to say ‘space fossilized’.
Dehydrated and Irradiated … ?
Cosmopolitan.
i would say, if it’s exposed to a vacuum, all the water evaporates, so it becomes extremely dry, like rocks
probably dessicates more than the mummies in egypt.
I think the poop bags were mainly stowed into lockers on the sides of the descent module. They’re not just piled up on the ground.
Edit: Correction. This research suggests that the procedure was to “jettison” the “waste receptacle,” containing any sealed poop bags, food wrappers, and other trash. “Jettison” definitely sounds more like tossing stuff out the door.
I also want to point out that maybe 96 bags were provisioned and left. But almost certainly most of those remained empty. Pooping into a bag in the LM in close proximity to your colleague is not an easy or pleasant experience. Astronauts had access to lomotil and they were conditioned on what NASA called a “low residue diet” for the entire duration of the flight and pre-flight quarantine. The early flights were on the surface for less than 24 hours. So there was a lot of opportunity and incentive to just avoid having a bowel movement on the moon.
There’s also a radio transcript from Apollo 16 that suggests that, on that flight, this material was transferred off the returning LM back onto CM and presumably returned to Earth.
brb, jettisoning my recycling into the mobile external containment vessel, prior to scheduled rendevouz.
Winnie the Poop
PLEASE CRANK THE SILLY THING AROUND should not be as hilarious as it is
Interesting how similar this is at first glance to Kerboscript. Neat!
Is this KOS-related?
Edit: nope, a real language, not Kerbal Operating System.
TCF = Terminate and Catch Fire?
For those wondering about a serious answer,
TCwas Transfer Control (in most modern ISAs it’s calledJMP/JUMP) andTCFwas Transfer Control to a Subroutine (equivalent toJSR/CALL).
