Me when I leave the house:

I hate running but I’m good at it. In high school our PE teacher, also the track coach, made us run a mile and timed us. At the end of the semester we’d have to do it again to see how we improved. I was the first done by a pretty good margin and he tried to get me to join our track team. I explained the only reason I ran fast was to get the experience over with as quickly as possible.

This finally explains the common colour choices for running clothes

Kinda looks like he has a boner too