It was a STUNNING tongue lashing.

Imagine having to put up with two self-absorbed billionaire asshats at the office every day.

Trump: Please block watchdog access to DOGE documents.

Supreme Court: Why?

Trump: For… reasons.

Only a decade? Noob.

Typical Mac user.

Trump’s justice department is considering a non-prosecution agreement

Daddy needs a new jet, not an used 747.

The AI ate my homework.

I guess he finally realized that a 747 really is bigger and faster that his 757.

I’m doing so well just believing the opposite of whatever he says.

Apart from everything else, that’s a great headline pun.

He’s the septic skeptic.

Narrator: Where will you be when the amphetamine wears off?

But apart from the whole Foreign Emoluments Clause of the US Constitution, he’s going to pay the taxes and duties on it, right? RIGHT?

Live, from Chicago’s famous Studebaker Theater, I’m Herringbone Winehouse sitting in for Peter Sagal on Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me. Today’s guests have all been rounded up by ICE, so Bill Kurtis and I will exchange obscure yet witty barbs while a sad trumpet plays a downtempo version of the Wait Wait theme in a minor key.

“Sometimes, a balloon knot is just a balloon knot.” Emrys Freud, Sigmund’s duller brother.

He’s moving the FBI to Kash accounting.