Separation anxiety is what happens when you can’t find your phone.

He was surprised that his immense laziness was inspirational to others.

We will not allow you to bring your pet armadillo along.

Buried deep in the snow, he hoped his batteries were fresh in his avalanche beacon.

She saw the brake lights, but not in time.

You have no right to call yourself creative until you look at a trowel and think that it would make a great lockpick.

I can’t believe this is the eighth time I’m smashing open my piggy bank on the same day!

The truth is that you pay for your lifestyle in hours.

For oil spots on the floor, nothing beats parking a motorbike in the lounge.

I’d rather be a bird than a fish.

It was always dangerous to drive with him since he insisted the safety cones were a slalom course.

Kevin embraced his ability to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

It took him a month to finish the meal.

The family’s excitement over going to Disneyland was crazier than she anticipated.

The estate agent quickly marked out his territory on the dance floor.

Barking dogs and screaming toddlers have the unique ability to turn friendly neighbors into cranky enemies.

He had unknowingly taken up sleepwalking as a nighttime hobby.

Erin accidentally created a new universe.

Her scream silenced the rowdy teenagers.

I often see the time 11:11 or 12:34 on clocks.