I don’t expect it to change, so I’ve kinda made peace with it. I try to focus on other things and just enjoy the freedom of solitude.

I just don’t reach out. It’s a lonely solution and I can’t recommend it.

As a fellow autistic, I rarely even answer that question. Most people don’t really care or need an answer, so I just ignore it completely and change the topic. If I must answer, I’ll usually say something like, “I’m hanging in there.” It’s not pretending that everything is fine, but it’s got a sense of positivity to it. Like: I’m handling it and you don’t need to worry about me. That way it’s neither pretending, nor dragging down the mood.

Brought to you by overthinking this question for decades.

I think the line is so blurry as to not matter in most circumstances. If you’re grumpy or tense and use it to feel better, it may not be a necessity, but it still improves your quality of life the same as if you did the exact same thing with an antidepressant. When there are safe and effective ways to feel better, there’s no reason to suffer. Saying it’s not medicinal is the realm of insurance companies and puritans.

You can even make a good case for party usage being medicinal if it keeps your mood up and helps you be more social. The line that really matters is whether or not usage is responsible. As long as you can use responsibly, party on. The world sucks plenty, I’m not going to think twice about responsible users just trying to make their lives better.

I’ve heard of the crystals, but iirc there was some question if they’re really psilocybin. You can extract psilocybin into liquid, though. There’s reduced body load and little to no stomach issues or nausea. The method I used for making it is in one of the books by Virginia Haze and K Mandrake - I think the psilocybin chef cookbook, but not positive.

Basically, you soak the shrooms in everclear to get out as much of the psilocybin as you can, then let the everclear evaporate so you’re left with a tiny amount of very concentrated fluid. Just add 1ml to some juice and you’re on your way. Been a while since I did it and I screwed it up a little, but it was way more mellow than eating the raw shrooms while still being effective. I’ve still got the rest of the little vial I made in the freezer, for whenever I’m stable enough to handle it again.

I like and use Steam. I agree that their dominance is mostly due to the lack of quality competition. They haven’t done anything super shady or anti-consumer.

But don’t expect that to last. It’s a story that’s been repeated countless times now. We know how this goes. One day something will change - probably ownership - and the enshittification will begin.

That’s what DRM free is about. You are in control of your DRM free games even after the developer, publisher, and the store you bought it from have all gone to hell. They also run better years from now when old DRM schemes no longer play nice with OS changes. DRM free is extra insurance that you’ll always have that game and be able to play it.

Too bad I don’t have the hard drive space to store my entire library. One day I’m going to be very sad right alongside everybody else.

SSRIs and the like will mess with shrooms. It varies by person, like all this stuff, but you generally need like twice as much. On meds, I got a nice high out of 4.5g. Off meds, I get hit harder than that from 2g. Shroom potency also varies a lot, so it’s not that odd to just have a dud.

Edibles took me several tries to feel anything, but did eventually just start working. They don’t for some people, so that is possible, but it could just take a few tries. I think it was 4-5 for me.

The first several times I tried edibles they did nothing. I didn’t know that can just happen to people. So each time, I waited a few days and tried again. But, figuring the last one did literally nothing, I doubled the dose the next time.

I paused at 40mg, wondering if that was really a good idea. It wasn’t. When it hit, time literally stopped. A minute felt like an hour. But I had only myself to blame and I was super high, so I thought it was funny as fuck. I got ready for bed, giggling to myself constantly, then passed the fuck out.

It’s still funny to me, and it always reminds me that mindset is huge. That was the first time I ever tried weed and I could have freaked out, but I just accepted my mistake and laughed at how stupid I was. It makes it a good memory.

I’ve always felt like an outlier, but yes. I can go an astoundingly long time without human contact and be totally fine. I was shaking my head during the pandemic when people were getting antsy after only a week. Well before that I once realized I literally hadn’t spoken to anybody for over a month and it didn’t even register as odd.

I’m similar. Definitely way more sluggish and depressed in summer, and my sleep is very poor even if I control the temperature. I enjoy rain and darkness. I prefer night shift. Autumn is my favorite because summer is finally over and it’s the longest time before summer comes again, plus it has the best holidays. I sleep best in winter and I’m more productive, energized, and happy.

But unlike SAD, it’s a lot harder to fix than just getting a sun lamp. I already do sleep in as dark a room as I can get during the day, but it’s never enough. Though the few times I’ve had access to a truly pitch black room to sleep in, it’s been really helpful.

It’s a weird way to be and most people really don’t understand.

It has its moments of quiet exploration and somber reflection, but it’s nothing if not varied. It’s chill in that there’s no penalty for dying and indeed you’re literally forced to. But it’s still wild and exciting, and sometimes even terrifying.

While I was playing, I had someone ask me my favorite death and I knew my answer right away. That was one of the moments I realized my experience of the game had started to flip, because I had been enjoying even the parts I hated.

Better time control helps a bit too. You can wait at the fire before launch to get a better alignment for where you want to go or for a specific event. I think it was the tornado planet I tended to wait a short bit just so it lined up better? You can also end a loop early, but that you have to be taught. I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say, but if you do don’t finish this paragraph (not sure my app is doing spoiler tags right):

As for my favorite death: I was trying to land on the interloper but missed slightly and it flew right past me. I scrambled to change momentum and chase after it. It got farther and farther away but then slowly I started gaining on it again. I gained more speed and started leveling out after what felt like minutes of turning as hard as I could at max thrust. And then the sun appeared from off screen, like an angry father that just caught a misbehaving child. My punishment was immediate and thorough.

I couldn’t stop laughing for the entire loop animation. (and then I went to the interloper as planned)

It did for me too the first time I played. I’m very bad with time limits and feeling rushed. It was never going to be a good fit for me.

But a friend convinced me to try again and it did eventually get better. It’s a combination of things that’s hard to quantify. The log of hints/objectives in your ship is a huge help, as is making liberal use of the autopilot. Then as the game unfolded and drew me in, I couldn’t put it down. Now it’s one of the most unique and unforgettable experiences in my nearly 40 years of gaming.

It starts out as a bunch of random stuff to explore and it didn’t feel to me like there was much direction or even motivation. But the more I explored and learned, the more I started to ask certain questions. I’d find myself thinking I wanted to explore a place with something specific in mind. But it’s a gradual shift that builds and builds and keeps building like a book that you forced yourself to read one chapter a night. Then it’s two, and before you know it you’re keeping yourself up way too late reading until you’re left empty that there’s no more.

I only say this because you always hear about the people who adore Outer Wilds, and I wasn’t one. I utterly bounced off it and set it down for years. But I’m so glad my friend got me to try again. I want other people like me to know that you can still get into the game and end up loving it even if it didn’t click at first. It’s also okay if you don’t want to. But I have only heard one person ever say it wasn’t worth it, and it was someone who spoiled themselves.

It’s capitalism. Unverified, but I’ve heard it explained as a result of tracking growth through new subscribers. Keeping around an old show won’t drive new subscribers unless it’s a huge show that generates a lot of buzz. New shows have a better chance of appealing to people who aren’t already subscribers. So they cancel the old one and start up another new show instead.

I used to get Taco Bell like twice a month because it was tasty and cheap, even if it was garbage. But when fast food prices exploded the last few years, it really lost its appeal. The quality and variety dropped, too, and it just doesn’t make any goddamn sense to drop $15 to eat at fucking Taco Bell. There are countless better options for that price. I think I maybe ate there once in the last year and nothing about it made me feel like I missed it. A bit sad since I used to enjoy it, but in the end I’m better off.

I’m sorry you had that experience, but glad that you continued trying and had better ones. There are definitely bad therapists, and more often it’s just a bad fit. The same way you’re not going to be friends with everyone, not every therapist can really work for you. It can take a few tries to find one that really clicks. I’ve met too many people who just gave up after one try, some after literally one session. Most were not anywhere near as bad as your experience. So give yourself a lot of credit that you kept trying even after that!

I wrote this out partially for anyone else who may be earlier in their mental health journey. If it’s not a good fit after a few sessions, you can ask for a referral or just stop and find someone else. A professional will not take offense. It’s pretty normal and an expected part of their job.

That’s what I strive for in any relationship: staying together purely because we choose to. I don’t want someone to stay with me for any other reason, and I want my partner to know that I choose them. Not out of obligation or necessity, but because I truly want them close to me. It’s simple but meaningful.

I see it mostly as a legal contract and legal status, but with a lot of extra baggage heaped on top. It’s an overloaded concept that tries to cover too many things at once, making them all suffer. Separate out the legal business and you’d lose the need for an explicit declaration that this union is to exist in perpetuity until cancelled by either party. Sure sounds full of romance when stated that way, doesn’t it?

I think it definitely applies to relationships. It does you and any of your partners a disservice to say your relationship was only a success if one of you died.

A person isn’t a thing you possess. They have needs that grow and change with them. If those needs ever stop being compatible with the relationship, then the relationship should end. That’s not failure. It’s wanting the person you love to be happy.