My reactions in order:

“Oooo… where can I get this armored UTV?”

“Damn, it’s not an armored UTV. Rifle-rated armor would probably be too heavy anyway. Author sucks.”

googles armored UTV

“Helloooooo The Armored Group!”

Annoying part about the kabuki theatre that is TSA is that they are inconsistent airport to airport. Shoes gotta come off, shoes can stay on. Laptop by itself in a bin, or with other things in a bin. Other electronics (e-reader, battery pack, etc.) in a bin, or in your carry on. But if you make the wrong choice they will let you know… loudly.

It is a good tool to introduce levity into an otherwise normal or even embarrassing situation.

“Didn’t you say you were going to do dishes?”

“…uh, that was Linda. But since she spaced on it I’ll take care of them now.”