My partner and I are consistently surprised when we realize that a friend, coworker, family member etc. actively dislikes their partner and/or doesn’t consider them a friend.
Bizzare and hostile is a fitting description, I couldn’t hack it in a relationship where I didn’t feel deep and genuine friendship for the other person. I feel like it’s foundational to establishing the type of trust that feels indispensable to me in a committed partnership.
So, I’m not into words or images from pop culture etc. (that’s just my taste, I think people should get what they like regardless) but I have three larger pieces on me. All three are original artwork by the artist, I gave them an idea of the general imagery/vibe I was going for and then handed them the reins. Also chose someone who’s dominant art style correlated with the style I wanted. I love art and it makes me happy to carry beautiful and original artwork with me wherever I go.
Pretty sure his friends call him Alexander of Macedonia.
Same with my mom and cancer. One Saturday she took a long nap and missed a pain medication dose, as my dad thought she’d be better off getting the rest. Never got back up unassisted and was gone within 10 days. She never would have opted for euthanasia anyway, super Catholic, but it was crazy how fast, and then how slowly, the whole thing unfolded.
I have multiple plans in place for myself if I end up facing down the same fate. Religion wasn’t catching for me so if I get a terminal diagnosis, I’m living it up and then Irish goodbying. Really sorry about your dad.
My mom died 5 months ago from MBC at 62. I was fortunate enough to be with her for the last few days. My husband and I drove overnight to get there, my brother and his partner did the same. My father and my aunt and us all took turns sitting with her, caring for her, doing everything we could to surround her with comfort and love.
The night she passed, we were all in the living room, she was in a hospital bed at this point, and we were all seated around her, watching a movie. She had been unconscious for days at that point but, for some reason, I had this feeling that she was looking at me. Logically, I know she wasn’t and that she was unconscious etc. But it still felt that way and I looked over at her and no one else was looking, they were all glued to the screen, I’m struggling to explain this but it felt like for a moment, everything stopped and her and I were alone in the room.
I blew her a kiss and waved goodbye, it was such a tender moment and somehow felt so intimate despite everyone being there. No one else noticed, it was just her and I for that brief moment. We were close and loved each other a lot, imperfectly at times, but a lot. I’m so grateful for that memory.
She took her last breath about 30 minutes later. We surrounded her bedside, held her hands and feet, I stroked her face and whispered to her as she slipped away. Yet, it was that brief, time-frozen moment when it felt like we said goodbye to each other that really wrecks me and comforts me at the same time. I miss her a lot. Fuck cancer.
“Cause love’s such an old-fashioned word And love dares you to care for The people on the edge of the night And love dares you to change our way of Caring about ourselves This is our last dance This is our last dance This is ourselves Under pressure.”
I’m legitimately glad that your personal experience of Christianity has been a net positive for you.
I was raised in a very standard First Assembly of God church until I was 12 and then my parents pivoted back to Catholicism. The experiences I had growing up in an evangelical paradigm were horrifying, especially in hindsight. I’m still unpacking the religious trauma in therapy today, nearly three decades after walking away.
So, based on my personal experience, the day to day Christians are precisely the greedy and violent ones that fucked me up, abused me relentlessly, and destroyed my sense of self-worth, not the blowhards on the news. Many of us are walking wounded from the divisive, hate-based, soul-crushing doctrines we were raised in under the guise of Christian love.