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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 24th, 2023

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  • My thought as well. Humanizing yourself makes me think about the situation you’re in to be driving door dash and the situation I’m in to be ordering it. I ran into my diaper wipes deliverer yesterday and though should I tip? For delivery from a website, something i don’t tip for. But I made contact with the driver and I was grateful for their service in delivery. I think it’s human nature to be easier to tip light if you can forget a human person was involved



  • I know two people who had full term still born babies. They both absolutely refer to them as babies and as having given birth. I’m only 6 months pregnant and if I lost the pregnancy at this point I would say I lost my son. He’s very real and alive to me, he moves and touches me many times an hour, already keeps me up every night. He’s a real dude in there.

    That said, I’ve had two miscarriages and consider those lost pregnancies, not lost children. I’ve seen people online say things like “mother of 4, 2 in heaven” though.

    Having something die inside you can fuck you up forever.


  • It’s so tough. 45k isn’t enough to cover expenses where I live (I know because we’re doing it, and if we weren’t dual income it just wouldn’t work). It doesn’t matter that my husband gets amazing retirement matching and decent benefits, because without my (admittedly small) income we couldn’t pay rent and utilities. If you want to be independent here and have a yard, you need to make more. A few years ago here you couldn’t even find an apartment with that salary, but it’s calmed down a little.





  • That’s as dumb as them suggesting you take on a second job to cover the heightened cost of the formula, but the second job has to be donating blood, plasma, and bone marrow. The physical toll to make up that much extra nutrition, the (sometimes permanent) leaching of elements of your own body, the quantity of time to pump and properly clean and store and the cost of products, the emotional toll of sacrificing what used to be a fun part of your body to what for many is quite painful…

    Sure boobs are made to make milk, but eyes are made to see. How many people do you know who wear glasses? It’s more complicated than just why not breast milk?

    If women should be expected to breastfeed for 2 years, then society should be built that they can take two years off to do so. A year of breastfeeding equates to a conservative estimate of 1,800 hours, which is not far off from a full-time job that totals about 1,960 hours annually.


  • I totally agree! If you can’t put out a house fire yourself, you shouldn’t have a house! Relying on strangers (the fire dept) to sacrifice their lives is so selfish.

    Or

    If I have to cover for your dialysis, don’t have kidneys! Or don’t have a job! Figure out your work life balance! It’s not fair that I have to work hours I agreed to separate from your situation when you’re not also working!

    The parent is not asking for your sacrifice. If they were, you’d be able to say no as you choose. It’s your boss telling you your hours. If you don’t like your hours, negotiate.

    Or, since it’s all so easy and binary to you, if this bothers you, just move work places to an office where hours are set. Just get a job where coworker coverage is set in stone in your contract. Certainly that’s as easy a life decision as whether or not to have children.


  • Weird that you think parents exclusively parent? Parents parent, and then we also give blood, help elderly parents and grandparents, and volunteer.

    The flexibility you want to give blood should be given to parents, as well. And then if your elderly parent’s ALF calls saying your mom has a fever and they won’t let her stay there until it’s cleared up, you should be given the flexibility to leave work same as a parent.

    The flexibility afforded parents to prioritize when their kids are sick and it’s illegal to leave them home alone is not the equivalent to volunteering.


  • I do agree with this (and yes, in the US). I have yet to ever hear about a childless person complain about the "perks"of being a working parent when they need those perks for a different sick family member. It’s only ever been because they think they should get equal priority for a music festival, or regular down time, or spending time with dogs or friends.

    It’s a bad take, because it’s a false equivalency. In my (albeit limited) experience, if you’re childless, but you ask for the same “perks” to also take care of a family member, you are afforded it.


  • And I think if childless people were saying my grandmother has a fever and her ALF won’t keep her today because of it, they’d be allowed the exact same remote allowances that a parent in their office is afforded. But if a childless person wants the same number of hours regardless of why, that’s not the same flexibility.



  • Idk what your job is, so maybe it is wildly taxing on the average afternoon, but taking care of a sick kid sucks. They’re miserable so you’re miserable and it also means you’re either already sick or about to be sick yourself. You can’t bring them to the park or the library or the store or out to eat because then you’re damning other parents to the week you’re having. If you’re a good parent it’s not just sitting the kid on the couch with the TV and some ginger ale. Maybe it gets to be that easy when your kid is like 10. I hope so.

    I’d pick my old office job 10/10 times when they’re sick, but it’s also not zero consequences. It’s either you’re taking PTO hours or you’re calling in favors, or you’re taking an FMLA day which is unpaid (in my state at least) and it also makes your coworkers resent you, which is a very real consequence.





  • Comparing not knowing a niche concept to functional illiteracy and then berating someone for playfully pointing out that the concept is niche isn’t the clever gotcha you think it is, it just comes across as snobbish or elitist.

    You wanted the conversation to go exactly where you wanted it to go. You didn’t write an essay the next guy missed the point of, you made a comment, and they made a comment in an informal online forum space. Just seems like you made a “joke” and then they made a joke focused on the part of the discussion they’re interested in, but because it’s not the exact response you were looking for (which I’m guessing was simply affirmation), you assume they missed your point.