“That’s who you’ll be from now on… Shitpiece!”

Very common cult tactic to this day

Paul’s is the funniest because he only got one letter changed from “Saul,” even though he had used to be the biggest menace. He was a Christian hunter. Not like a professional one, more like McCarthyism but against Christians.

Saul was a perfect example of sin, and Jesus said, “Let’s switch that 'S with a P, and he’s all good. '”

(Please don’t hurt me, I’m joking)

Edit: Wait, my bad. Jesus changed his Roman name, “Paul” to “Saul,” (which was Paul’s, Jewish name), and after Jesus died, when Paul moved to Rome, he went by “Paul” again. That’s also right before he was imprisoned and executed and where he’d write parts of the N.T.

I had to double-check everything, lol. That felt like the mendala effect. It turned out he also spent some time in the Bahamas dreaming about some guy named Yosef.

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Optimus Prime vibes

Even in the Bible they people with deadnames.

“From now, Willard, your name is Clark.”

Jesus has so many things in common with Trump. It’s crazy.

Two thousand years from now, people will be reading the gospel of Little Marco Rubio, Lyin Ted Cruz, and RINO Lindsey Graham. Maybe they’ll just be known as “Little”, “Lyin”, and “Rino”. And everything Trump has done will be said to be a miracle.