Soooo much appreciation for this 🩷 I think I’ll forever mentally twitch when people use dude, man, mate, bro, etc. towards me. I totally know it’s done in a gender neutral way, but I still feel a small pang in my heart.
Using a validating, non vaguely-male term is great, though!
Most of the terms are like: “these are MALE terms and also girls can be ‘one of the bros’ in certain circumstances”… but that’s just not what transition is about.
We don’t want to be “just one of the bros”; you gotta understand that:
a) that’s NOT what a lot of us after,
b) the world doesn’t revolve around men and being men and being masculine (and perpetuating that male chauvinism perspective is shitty),
and c) it’s okay to call girls, girls, and to be a woman. That isn’t a negative or lesser or othering l thing, despite how much of society raises us to believe.
I’m also not saying that we don’t want to be included wherever we feel comfortable fitting in, we absolutely do. And I think a lot of allies understand that. But just as many allies understand that trans women feel left out from being included in feminine spaces, as well. And sometimes, while we may fit in better with the bros, way more than the girls, that itself can feel awful and really get the dysphoria going. Sometimes though, some of us realize that the dudes that are bros we realize are hot and dumb and we want to be closer to them for… different reasons.
Personally, I’m poly and pan and just want everybody to get along and not have weird stereotypically forced gender segregated hobbies, interests, and cliques anymore because that’s weird and uncomfy. I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore I haven’t eaten today yet. Homie is fine, I guess, but borderline, personally. I don’t know a better replacement.
Soooo much appreciation for this 🩷 I think I’ll forever mentally twitch when people use dude, man, mate, bro, etc. towards me. I totally know it’s done in a gender neutral way, but I still feel a small pang in my heart.
How’s Homie sit with you? (I think Homie is a great gender neutral term!)
Using a validating, non vaguely-male term is great, though!
Most of the terms are like: “these are MALE terms and also girls can be ‘one of the bros’ in certain circumstances”… but that’s just not what transition is about.
We don’t want to be “just one of the bros”; you gotta understand that:
a) that’s NOT what a lot of us after,
b) the world doesn’t revolve around men and being men and being masculine (and perpetuating that male chauvinism perspective is shitty),
and c) it’s okay to call girls, girls, and to be a woman. That isn’t a negative or lesser or othering l thing, despite how much of society raises us to believe.
I’m also not saying that we don’t want to be included wherever we feel comfortable fitting in, we absolutely do. And I think a lot of allies understand that. But just as many allies understand that trans women feel left out from being included in feminine spaces, as well. And sometimes, while we may fit in better with the bros, way more than the girls, that itself can feel awful and really get the dysphoria going. Sometimes though, some of us realize that the dudes that are bros we realize are hot and dumb and we want to be closer to them for… different reasons.
Personally, I’m poly and pan and just want everybody to get along and not have weird stereotypically forced gender segregated hobbies, interests, and cliques anymore because that’s weird and uncomfy. I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore I haven’t eaten today yet. Homie is fine, I guess, but borderline, personally. I don’t know a better replacement.